Ink Blots
by VixenRaign
Summary: Chap. Nineteen completed. 19: 3.20.08! Challenge Fic: after their differences at Hemry in LA, it would be impossible for them to be happy...wouldn't it? Buffy
1. Graduation

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! All the characters belong to JOSS-the all mighty-WHEDON and his band of MUTANT ENIMIEs! The Plot isn't even mine: CHALLENGE FIC! Ha Ha Ha! (please note: that was a crazed evil laugh)  
  
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexuality. (May change later)  
  
Spoilers: Some Season 2 and 3 references (Helpless, and Becoming Parts 1 & 2 mainly) as well as Season 5 (The existence of Dawn). Spoilers for "Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The Movie" as well.  
  
Pairing: Tara/Buffy  
  
Author's Note: I Love Buffy/Willow and Buffy/Faith FanFiction, but I have a sweet tooth for the rare Buffy/Tara stories. I've never written one, and in an attempt to do so I failed miserably. Then I came across this Challenge at 'UnIntentional Tears' (A Tara Fan Site), posted by 'DAVID'. I thought I'd give it a try. So; tell me what you think! This Fic will be told mostly from Tara's POV (Point Of View), but I will tell you if that changes [though, chances are you'll be able to guess!]  
  
THE CHALLENGE: A Tara/Buffy challenge:  
  
(1) We all know that Buffy was supposed to be just like Cordy before she was called! Well lets say Tara also went to Hemry and was treated very badly by Buffy and her 'sheep'. Well years go by then they meet at UC Sunnydale.  
  
(2) Must have Buffy feeling guilty about how she treated her at Hemry.  
  
(3) Buffy trying to get Tara to believe she is now a nice person.  
  
(4) Willow and Dawn find out that Tara is falling for Buffy and play cupid.  
  
  
  
= = = (*Graduation*) = = =  
  
Tara closed her locker, and sighed. This would be the last time she ever closed its creaking mettle door. She ran her hand over it's chipped gray paint, thinking about all the good times. She remembered getting little Secret Admirer notes in it when she was a freshman, though they later turned out to be from a boy she had no interest in. She remembered Melissa kissing her against it after the Winter Formal, and again before she left to spend her second semester in New York. She missed her so much, even more so since she stopped writing.  
  
Tara straightened her gown (a hideous combination of yellow with purple trim), and leaned against the locker, looking down the halls. Not all her memories were good ones. She remembered having 'DYKE' painted on her things, year after year. She remembered the popular girls being nice to her, only to trick her into doing something dumb. Looking at the Janitor's Closet reminded her of one incident in particular . . .  
  
Early in her Sophomore year, she remembered being approached by a rather short blonde girl by the name of Buffy Summers. Tara knew perfectly well that Buffy had been a popular person, and had been quite surprised when the girl had even acknowledged her existence. She was one of those people that are so beautiful that even if they are mean and Evil, it just seems to add to their mysterious beauty. Buffy fit that description.. She was known for being Asst. Head Cheer-Leader, and paying people to do her homework.  
  
Tara had thought that Buffy was going to pay her to do her History Homework (since Tara was the head of that class), but it wasn't so. Buffy said that she had heard that Tara would read Taro Cards for money, and wanted her fortune read. Tara, shocked that Buffy had asked her to do so, had agreed. They arranged to meet in the library after school, but Buffy had shown up late. Over and HOUR late! It was almost 5:00 when she did arrive, and only then did Tara realize she'd left her deck of cards in Art class. Buffy told her she had seen some in the Janitor's closet, saying distractedly that he might have picked them up.  
  
Long story short: this had been planned all day. Someone had seen her leave the cards in Painting, took them, hid them in the closet, sent Buffy as the messenger, and the foot-ball team locked her in the broom cupboard overnight. When she got out the next day during first period, it was an explosion of laughter with her arrival. Someone had written 'The Dyke Den' on the door, and all day people made comments like "So, you're out of the closet now, are you?" and "I always though that whole 'closeted' thing was metaphorical!", and the far less witty "Stupid Lezzy!". Tara's last thought on the subject was {I'm glad she got Expelled!}  
  
Shaking her head sadly, and thinking how glad she was to be getting out of here, she unzipped her bag. Hemry High was not going to be a good memory, and she didn't care. From the front pocket of her backpack she pulled two things: a picture of her mother (who had died almost a year and a half ago), and her acceptance letter to U.C. Sunnydale. She slowly and steadily walked out to where the other students where gathering.  
  
She kept to herself, off to the side, and wished that Melissa were there. She missed her so much it hurt. Melissa was the only friend she'd had in school, only later did they begin dating. The whole kissing at Winter Formal ordeal had been an accident. Mel had had too much of the spiked punch, and had been in a very 'friendly' mood towards Tara. Only later, having realized she enjoyed it and wanted to do it again, did Melissa approach her with the idea of a courtship. Little did she know that Tara had been in love with her for almost a year. And for the last 100 or so school days, Tara had been truly alone.  
  
The lines formed, and the students started walking down the isle towards their seats. One or two people tried to trip her, but she had expected it, hopping over their outstretched legs. As she found her seat, Tara took out the photo and the letter, and looked at them. They were her ticket out. Her mother's secret account of money so she could go to college, and the acceptance to a small state school. Her father, brother, and cousin wouldn't be able to find her. She now had NOTHING tying her down, and she had never felt this free. But she was also scared witless. What if she failed her classes, or got kicked out of college? She'd have nowhere to go. Just as Tara was trying to push those thoughts aside, the sky darkened.  
  
Looking up, Tara saw the sun dimming as it was being covered. {Of course!} Tara told herself, {Today's the solar eclipse of the moon! I have to do that spell tonight!}. Tara felt odd though, there was some kind of darkness here, and it wasn't just the blocking of the sun's rays. There was a kind of deep penetrating Evil feeling to this natural act of wonder. Even though the Los Angelus air was warm, Tara shivered from head to toe. {My Demon senses must be picking up on a dark magic} Tara thought, {because something here just doesn't feel right.} the speaker continued giving his speech, though the darkness of this Eclipse was quite prolonged. As the sun slowly came back from behind the moon, the malevolent feeling in the air seemed to die away. {Well,} Tara thought, {What ever it is, its far away and long gone . . . }.  
  
Tara went back to thinking about her spell. She had to do it tonight, and she had to do it again before she left for Sunnydale. If she did it tonight then she could use the Mystical energy left over from the Eclipse, and her magic would be more potent. The spell was for her family, and as much as they made her life miserable, she felt sorry to do it. It was a spell to distract them from her, so they wouldn't notice her as much as other things (for example: shinny objects). She would do the spell on a necklace that her mother had left her, and then when she wore it, her family wouldn't identify her as much. This would give her at least a two- day head start. Once there, Tara could do another spell on the campus so her family would feel put off by it. This way they wouldn't bother looking there.  
  
Soon people's names were being called, and students received their diplomas. As Tara walked up to get hers, a boy hissed things at her, but she didn't listen. When she was on that stage, shaking the principals hand, Tara had never felt so alone and yet so alive! She was officially her own woman {demon}, and she was going off to start a new life for herself in Sunnydale. Looking out into the crowd she saw a lone figure standing, and clapping for her. He father. Beth had to stay home, and Donny was probably still a little hung over from his one man party last night. He didn't even look happy to be there. Tara walked back off the stage to her seat, one thought ringing true in her head:  
  
"Viva Los Sunnydale!"  
  
(To Be Continued . . .) 


	2. A Walk In The Park

= = = (*A Walk In The Park*) = = =  
  
As Tara slowly walked down the bike path towards the Stevenson Hall Dorms, she thought about her first week and a half at college. She had done the Warding Spell, gone to classes, set up her room, and settled in. Campus was already starting to feel more like home then LA ever had. She had even sat in on a few of the on-campus Wicca-Group-Meetings. {That was a waste of time . . .} Tara thought mournfully. She had been really hoping they would be actual witches. She needed someone to practice with. Her mother had always been there for an assist, but now . . .  
  
"Hey there blondie." A man behind her drawled, but Tara just walked faster. "Hey! I'm talking to you!"  
  
"Sure you're not talking to me?!" Tara heard a slightly familiar voice call out. She heard a skirmish and a thud, and soon the man landed at her feet. Turning around she saw a short blonde girl, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, running at this injured man with a sharpened piece of wood. He jumped up, face in a freakishly demonic scowl, and the two quickly got into a brawl. Tara was shocked at the ferocity of it. The short blonde girl had thrown the man at a tree so hard that half the branches came crashing down on him! After a few short seconds, she plunged the wood into his chest, and he disappeared into a cloud of dust.  
  
The girl got up to brush herself off, and placed the piece of wood in the sleeve of her jacket. She smiled at Tara, and said "Have a nice night!" she turned and started walking away when it all clicked: Short! Blonde! The face! the voice! Not to mention the fighting! This was the girl that used to pick on her at Hemry High! THIS was Buffy Summers!  
  
"Bitch?" Tara asked, not realized what she'd said. Buffy turned around, eye's wide in shock, pulling her steak out again and looking suspicious. "I-I-I mean B-Buffy? Buffy S-S-Summers?" She still looked accusingly at Tara. "T-Tara. Tara MaClay?" no response. "We w-went to Hemry together until you l-left?"  
  
"Tara?" she asked, as though she couldn't match a name to a face. She noticed that Buffy still had the stake poised and ready, body still slightly rigid.  
  
"T-Tara the Loser? Tara the W-Witch? Tara the Dyke?" They all seemed to be vaguely familiar, but Buffy still seemed confused. "You and the f-foot- ball team l-locked me in a broom closet o-over-night?" Buffy's eyes bugged, and she dropped her steak with a clatter. Putting a hand over her mouth, Buffy mumbled an almost inaudible 'Holy Shit', and grimaced.  
  
"Hey, Buffy, what's up? Did you get 'em?" Tara looked up to see a girl with short red hair approaching Buffy. She took one look at the situation (Dust on the ground, Steak dropped, Buffy grimacing, and Tara looking blushing and shy), and realized there was no threat. Willow walked forward, holding out a hand to Tara. "Hi, I'm Willow. What's your name?" She was smiling and friendly, Tara liked her already.  
  
"T-Tara. Buffy and I w-went to school together in LA." Tara looked at the ground, wondering why she had to come across the people she most wanted to avoid.  
  
"Oh! So you guys are old friends?" Willow asked, turning to Buffy. Buffy covered her face with her hands, and mumbled.  
  
"I locked her in a broom closet over night . . ." Willow's eyes bugged, looking between Tara and the blonde.  
  
"Why? Buffy why would you lock anyone in a broom closet AT ALL?" Buffy covered her mouth with her hands, the exposed part of her face bright red. Willow was looking at her expectantly, obviously awaiting an answer.  
  
"I was Cordelia, and she was you." Willow gasped, and Tara was utterly confused.  
  
"Buffy?!" Willow yelled, "How could you do that! That is so unbelievably mean! What were you thinking!?"  
  
"I WASN'T THINKING!" Buffy yelled back, "I BARELY even knew her-"  
  
"Buffy!" Willow cut her off, "That's NO EXCUSE! I've been locked in a closet all night before (WITH CORDELIA NO LESS), and it IS NOT fun! Not apologize to her Right Now!" Willow had an odd look on her face, and the only way to describe it in Tara's mind would be 'unflinchingly stern'.  
  
"Take it easy Will," Buffy said cowering, "No need for Resolve Face . . . I was going to anyway!" Buffy walked towards Tara, her hand out-stretched. "I am sorry, Tara. I know this'll sound stupid after all these years but . . . I've been there. My High School life here in Sunnydale has been FAR different than life at Hemry." She gave her a remorseful smile, and Tara couldn't help but smile too. Buffy was still stunningly beautiful, and Tara had become slightly distracted.  
  
"T-That's okay, y-y-you saved my life. I think we're, um, pretty m-much even." Tara gently took Buffy's hand to shake it, and the feeling she got when she did was incredible. There was Magic radiating off this girl in waves! The warmth of her hand was enhanced by the gentle tingle of incredibly powerful mystical energy. Tara pulled her hand back slowly, eyes wide. Looking at Buffy, she saw that she'd felt it too. There was something going on here.  
  
"What are you?" It was mean, just inquisitive. However, all the people who weren't Buffy or Tara were slightly confused.  
  
"She looks like a girl." Came a voice from behind Willow. Tara turned around to see a boy of about Buffy's height, with short red hair, standing with an arm around Willow. He looked mellow and unfazed by the whole situation. He nodded towards Tara, face never changing, and said "Oz." Tara bowed her head as she turned towards Buffy.  
  
"You're right, I'm n-not just a girl . . ."  
  
"No, you're a witch." It was a statement that left Willow squealing. Tara turned to look at her, shocked by the noise, to see her smiling. She looked back to Buffy, wondering what had made the redhead shriek like that. Buffy smiled knowingly. "Willow is too. She's been looking for another witch to work with since Amy turned herself into a Rat." At that Tara's eyes bugged slightly. "Oh! But don't worry," Buffy said quickly, "Willow didn't do that. Amy did that to herself." Tara was still slightly shocked.  
  
"W-W-What are y-you?" Tara was afraid to ask. She had witnessed this girl kill one vampire easily, and felt her quite powerful aura, so she already had a guess.  
  
"I'm uh . . . I'm uh, a umm . . . student." Buffy floundered. She obviously didn't know what to tell her. "I, uh, go to school. Yup, learning's what I do. No Vampires." Then grimaced at her slip, and bowed her head.  
  
"I k-knew it!" Tara whispered, causing Buffy to look up quickly. "I-I knew that m-must have been it. You have the power, and the v-v-vampire you just killed . . . what else could you be?" Tara was still looking down at her shoes and blushing, though now stuttering from excitement rather than nerves.  
  
"How do you know about Slayers?" Buffy asked, sounding surprised.  
  
"Well," Tara started, blushing at the blonde's interest in her, "I read about them in my studies. There are some really powerful Witches in history that have been either Slayer or Watcher. I have a lot of books with reference to Vampire and well," Tara stopped to look up at her, "The vampire population did go up a l-little after you l-left Hemry . . ." Buffy smiled at her.  
  
"Yeah, but I was only a Slayer at Hemry for about two months. Then I got kicked out. I'm sure you celebrated over it." Now Buffy was the one to blush, shaking her head. Tara smiled guilty, but denied it.  
  
"N-Not so m-much as the destruction of the Gym," Tara said lightly, "I was n-never that good at P.E. anyways." Buffy smiled, and actually laughed.  
  
"So you're a Witch?" Willow asked excitedly, a little behind as far as subject change goes. "Do you practice very often?"  
  
"Actually," Tara started, the realized that telling a Slayer you're a demon is a bad idea stopped. "I'm a S-S-Sorceress." Willow let out such a loud, high pitched squeak that they all jumped (except Oz, who didn't seem fazed in the slightest).  
  
"Um, here's where the Slayer proves her lack of knowledge," Buffy said, wiggling a winger in her ear, "What's the difference?" she looked nervous, as though worried everyone would know but her.  
  
"Power!" Willow said reverently, "They're raised with magic, and they're magic is incredibly potent because it's passed on through heredity."  
  
"So," Buffy guessed slowly, "They get stronger with every generation?" Tara and Willow nodded. Buffy looked worried. "Why didn't you ever go all Kung-Fu-Wicca on me and kick my ass?" Tara blushed again. The truth was she wanted to, but had secretly had a small crush on her.  
  
"I wouldn't do that." Tara said sheepishly.  
  
"Yeah, then you'd be down on my level." Buffy looked down at her shoes, obviously feeling very remorseful over her past shenanigans. She looked up at Tara, a slightly pleading look in her eyes, "I'm really not like that anymore. I AM sorry." Tara just smiled.  
  
"Well, why don't we walk her back to her dorm. I think Buffy's done enough tonight." The quiet boy named Oz said. He nodded slightly, other then that there was no change in her expression. Together they walked back to Stevenson.  
  
After having walked Tara back to room 609, they told her that if she needed anything they were just downstairs in 214. As Tara put her stuff down and sat on her bed, she wondered {Did she really change, or was she always this nice underneath?}. Smiling to herself, Tara got ready for bed, thinking about all new people she met tonight. This Buffy was entirely different from the one she remembered, and Willow and Oz both seemed very nice too.  
  
{Buffy's still amazingly beautiful} Tara thought. She smiled, then quickly remembered that she already had a girl-friend. "She may not me writing as much, but she's still your girlfriend." She said to herself, slowly falling asleep.  
  
That night Tara had strange dreams. One was about Buffy saving her life again, one was about the Slayer discovering her Demon heritage, and another was a o woman who juggled shoes. All and all, it was a REALLY confusing night!  
  
(To Be Continued . . . )  
  
  
  
[Author's Note: Well people, what do you think? I love to here from people, and every E-Mail I get I send one back. If you have any comments or suggestions send them to VixenRaign@yahoo.com ] 


	3. Ever Watchful Eyes

(Author's Note: Please know that I have up-dated for two main reasons: (1) Heavy request, it got me to start writing faster then in most cases, (2) For Jean (My Inspiration) and Danny (My Muse). You're both then best girl- friends ever. Miss you Jean!)  
  
= = = (*Watchful Eyes*) = = =  
  
Tara gathered up her books and placed them in her bag, getting ready to study in the library. She was also hoping to check her mailbox. She'd not heard from Melissa since June when she got a graduation Card with a funny letter written inside.  
  
She sighed. She wanted a letter. She really did . . . but, then there was Buffy. She'd taken over Tara's thoughts the last three weeks. She couldn't get the little blonde out of her head. And every time she did manage to, she'd see Buffy in the student's center or at the Espresso pump. She'd smile and wave, and make Tara blush for those few seconds, and then one would leave (usually Tara, too shy to go and speak to her).  
  
The fact that Mel seemed to forget about her was not help either. What did help, however, was seeing Buffy with Parker Abrahams. That boys was no- good, and even Tara new it. She'd heard things about the way he used girls, and Tara didn't want that for Buffy. {But then again,} Tara thought, {I'm not exactly unbiased . . . }  
  
Once Tara was all packed up, she opened the door and walked out. Right into Buffy. She tumbled slightly, but the blonde caught her. After steadying herself, she looked up smiling, but quickly shook it off. {I'm not gonna smile, There's nothing to smile about . . .}  
  
"You okay?" Buffy asked, laughing slightly.  
  
"Y-Yeah, I'm f-fine." She blushed slightly, "W-What are you doing here?" Buffy looked nervous, and grimaced. She looked at the ground, then back up and Tara, slightly apprehensive.  
  
"I wanted to ask you a favor . . ." she said slowly. "We're right in the middle of tracking this one really crazy Demon, and Willow wanted to do a spell to track it, but she kinda can't do it alone . . . Will you do the spell with her? Please, we really need your help?" Buffy sounded pretty desperate. {She's not pretty desperate, she's beautifully-} Tara shook off those thoughts and nodded quickly.  
  
"Does sh-she need anything? Should I get m-m-my books or some supplies?" Buffy shook her head.  
  
"No, she said she has everything. She just needs you." Buffy smiled, and took Tara's hand, pulling her along. Tara jogged along behind her, her body tingling from their connected hands. {I'm liking this Magic-tickle just a bit too much}. Luckily Buffy didn't see her blush.  
  
Buffy slowed as they reached a courtyard with a small fountain, and apartment doors on all sides. Pushing through one to the left, Buffy called out,  
  
"Giles! I Found Her! Come Meet Tara!" Tara slowly walked through the door way, looking around the quaint living-room. It smelled like a tea- shop or the reference section of the historical library. She liked it.  
  
"I'd be glad to, just give me a minute to let my ears stop ringing . . ." drawled a weathered English voice from an arm-chair not 5 feet from where Buffy was standing, leaning against the couch. "Nice to meet you Tara, I'm Rupert Giles, Buffy's former watcher." He held her hand lightly, and smiled.  
  
"N-Nice to m-meet you, Mr. Giles." She blushed, and wasn't the only one. Giles seemed quite surprised to be called 'Mr. Giles'.  
  
"You already know the red-heads, Willow and Oz (though his hear color changes more than the weather)." Buffy pointed to the two people huddled around the kitchen-counter. They smiled and waved, saying their hellos.  
  
"Hey!" said an exuberant boy with dark haired boy, extending his hand, "Nice to meet you." Tara shook his hand, and smiled. She liked him already.  
  
"This is Xander, my other best-friend from high-school." Suddenly, a blonde girl pulled Xander's hand back, and held him close.  
  
"Xander's mine, you can't have him!" she said with a quiet warning. Tara frowned, feeling a bit odd. {Did that handshake seem more then it really was?} She worried.  
  
" - And that's Anya, Xander's girl-friend. If you know your demons, then you might remember one by the name of Anyanka. An eleven-hundred-and- twenty-year-old Vengeance-Demon. This is what happened when she turned mortal." Tara looked to Buffy, and saw a small smile on her face. Obviously there was some joke here she didn't get. Pushing off the couch lightly, Buffy sighed.  
  
"Well, I think that's everybody-" a throat was cleared loudly behind her, and Buffy suddenly looked exasperated. Buffy took an exaggerated step to the right, and there, standing behind the couch was a small girl. She could not have been older then 14, with long brown hair and crossed arms. She had Buffy's little up-turned nose, and hazel eyes, and obviously her need to noticed.  
  
"Dawn - Tara," Buffy said gruffly, "Tara - Dawn, my little sister." She turned around quickly to face the girl and said quietly "Who you will hopefully never meet again since she'd only here because our mother's out of town on business." Tara held in a giggle at Dawn's sad look. It was obvious that they bickered a lot but loved each other even more. Dawn obviously wanted to be taken more seriously by Buffy's friends, {She must really look up to her}.  
  
"Well, now that you've been properly introduced, perhaps we should get started on the spell?" Giles said gently, trying to get Buffy focused again.  
  
"Yeah, that's probably best, I just hope the horn is still fresh." Tara looked at Willow, confused. Willow smiled. "Buffy found a piece of a broken horn by a pretty gruesome 'accident' last night, and the identifying spell needs the prime ingredient to be kinda fresh to work." Tara nodded. Willow cleared off the small table by the couch, and started setting up for the spell.  
  
"Okay," Willow said looking over the make-shift-alter, then at Tara, "How does this look?" Tara looked over the instructions in the book, and down at the table. She smiled and nodded. "Okay, you ready to start?"  
  
"S-Sure." Tara took a seat at one side of the desk, and Willow took the other end. As she started to settle into a meditative calm, Willow started chanting. She could feel the power in the room growing, could feel the Magic inside Willow struggling to escape her. Opening her eyes she saw the red-head pouring salt into a burning dish, and nodded to Tara. Tara reached out and added the Lavender oil, and used the Black candle to light it. Tara looked down at the book and began to chant her portion of the spell.  
  
"Oh Great Lakuma, help to guide us in our search. We wish to seek that which harms. Lend us your eyes, and compos our path. Lead us to that which we try to find." Willow tossed in the piece of horn, along with a little sulfur. With a BANG the dish exploded, throwing Tara and Willow backwards.  
  
"Tara!" - Buffy  
  
"Willow!" - Oz, Giles, Xander, Anya, Dawn  
  
Buffy rushed to Tara, and helped her up, both sitting on the ground.  
  
"I think I may have added too much Sulfur . . ." Willow said ruefully, standing on shaky legs. Tara smiled weekly. "I guess we can jus-" Everyone fallowed Willow's line of vision to about 4 feet above the now shattered burning-dish. There, levitating near the ceiling, was almost a holographic projection of a Demon. It looked like a mix between the 'Aliens' monster and the thing from 'Predator'. They all started at if for a few seconds, and slowly it faded. They all looked to Tara, and blushed, now very self- conscious.  
  
"Wow . . ." Willow said slowly. "I tried that on my own, and there was no reaction at all. Not even a little explosion."  
  
"Well," Giles said stiffly, "Now that we know what it looks like, we should best be getting on with our research." He walked over to his bookshelf by the door and pulled down a large tome, covered in dust. Tara turned to Buffy, slightly nervous, and asked if she should go.  
  
"You don't have to, but you can if you want." Buffy looked down at her feet then back at the blonde, "I wish you wouldn't." she blushed, and looked away. "We could always use another person while in research-mode . . . stay?" she asked her, and Tara picked up a hint of puppy-dog-eyes. She smiled, and caved. Buffy lead her to the couch next to Dawn and handed her a book. With in seconds, the room was quiet, all the people reading, except for Dawn (who looked slightly miffed that she wasn't allowed).  
  
Soon a half-hour passed, then an hour, and before she realized it, it was almost sunset. They had looked through book after book, and found almost nothing that fit the description of the demon they saw. Dawn had finished the book she had brought with her and now looked extremely bored. Tara smiled at her, holding the book higher up on her lap. She gently nudged Dawn with her elbow, and held out her hand.  
  
"Wanna thumb wrestle?" she whispered, smiling at the smaller version of Buffy. Dawn smiled widely and nodded, holding out her hand. "One, Two, Three, Four, I declare a thumb-war!" the both whispered simultaneously.  
  
Buffy, with her Slayer-hearing, had heard them. Looking up, she only saw the giant book spanning both their laps. She could see their arms moving, and their smiles, she heard their slight giggles, and finally heard Dawn give a triumphant 'Yes!' fallowed by light laugher from Tara. Buffy couldn't help but smile, Tara was such a kind person, looking out for Dawn like that. She felt guilty for not having thought of it herself, but found it worth it to hear Tara giggle. {Her voice is so melodic and calm, like listening to a slow waltz. She has an amazing laugh, like music you grew up listening to . . .} Buffy smiled again, and watched as Tara challenged her sister to a re-match, to which the blonde won. Willow's ever watchful eyes went unnoticed, though the Slayer's attention was unwavering. Buffy was just beginning to admire Tara's physical appearance when Willow shouted.  
  
"I think I got it!" All eyes turned to Willow as she placed a large Demonology Text Reference on the coffee table. Pointing to a picture of the demon they saw she paraphrased what she'd read.  
  
"It's called a Truachphillia Demon. Its primary goal is to bread, and in order to attract a mate it must compete for her attention my mutilating something that symbolizes innocence." The room cringed in unison, and Willow continued.  
  
"It feeds off of Pig's urine, and must consume about a quart a day to stay alive." Willow paused and looked up at Buffy. "There are no pigs in Sunnydale? How could there be one here? It would have no food . . ."  
  
"Yeah it would. There's one place in Sunnydale where anyone can get anything from puréed sheep's bladder to Spiced Monkey's Blood." Willow nodded in understanding, but Tara looked confused. "There's a bar downtown called 'Willy's Place' . . . not the most respectable pub, but they have what the demon's need. Maybe I can beat another confession out of Willy-The- Snitch" Buffy almost smiled. "I haven't been to see Willy in a while, wonder if he still remembers me." Buffy got up, and grabbed her coat off the Hat stand by the door.  
  
"You guys stay here and look for a way to kill this thing, I'm going to go see Willy and try to get some info out of him." Buffy smiled, and walked out the door. They all looked at each other, and then down at the picture of the demon.  
  
"Description:" Oz read aloud in his verbal-non-verbal way, "Approximately 12 feet tall with retraceable claw at the backs of its hands. Has the ability to poison its victims by cutting them open and bleeding into the wound." Oz looked up, at everyone, eyes settling on a shocked Dawn and an even paler Tara both sitting on the couch.  
  
"Don't worry," Xander said quickly, "It has no reason to come here so we should be safe. Also, We'll come up with a plan and all face this together, so no worries about Buffy." Giles nodded, and Dawn at least seemed a little less frightened. "Tara, Scooby life is completely optional . . ." Xander said slowly, picking his words with great delicacy, "You don't have to be here if you don't want to. But you're welcome to say."  
  
Tara looked around. Xander and Willow both looked hopeful, Oz looked ever presently acquiescent, and Dawn looked at her pleadingly.  
  
"You'd be a great help . . ." Giles said slowly, "Willow, although quite capable, often has a spot of trouble with her spells, and as we can see already there's been improvement. Also, an extra person while doing book research is always helpful . . . ?"  
  
"Please! Please!" Dawn begged, "Buffy would want you to stay!" That made her cave, though she was careful not to show it. Tara simply smiled and nodded, picking up her book. The rest quickly followed suit, and soon all the Scoobies where checking Indexes for reference to Truachphillia Demon. They found many references, though mostly it was noted sightings, and very little useful information.  
  
Time crept by slowly, and soon 'Almost Dark' had become Dark. It had been hours, and every few minutes Tara would look towards the door. Willow missed this . . . but Dawn caught on the first time. She wondered if Tara had somewhere to go, or a place she had to be, perhaps that was why she looked at the door so longingly. But no, even Little Dawn knew better. She watched as Tara turned towards the door, though this time she didn't look away. She frowned, and placed her book on the coffee table gently.  
  
"Tara?" Dawn asked quietly, the look on the Sorceress's face worrying her. Tara looked at her for a second, then got up, and walked to the door. Willow watched her go sadly, her hopes of Magical improvement being crushed. But she'd paused. Tara stood facing the door; hand on the knob, looking as though she forgot why she was standing there. Suddenly, Tara flung the door open, and Buffy fell into her arms a second later.  
  
"Buffy!" chorused the room. Tara gently carried her over to the couch and sat her down. They surrounded her, and Tara gently pushed her hair out of the blonde's eyes, feeling for forehead. It was slightly warm.  
  
"What happened?" Giles asked angrily, obviously very upset at seeing his Slayer like this.  
  
"I went to Willy's," she choked slightly, "Not only did I find out where the demon's been hiding, but I found the Demon too. He was at Willy's, having is pig-piss-cocktail." She groaned, and grabbed her side lightly. Tara pulled back her jacket slightly, and saw huge gashes along the front of her shirt which clung to her skin.  
  
"Mr. Giles, do you have a bathroom?" Tara asked quickly. He nodded, and helped Buffy up.  
  
"Giles, First-Aid kit, the big one I think." Willow took one of Buffy's arms, and Tara took the other, guiding her to the bathroom. Once they had set her down on the edge of the tub, Tara filled the sink with hot water. Giles stepped into the bathroom, and handed them the large mettle box. "Thanks Giles." Willow said.  
  
"M-Maybe we sh-should take it from here?" Tara asked delicately. Willow and Giles had always been the ones to treat Buffy, so the former Librarian was not used to being asked to leave when it came to attending his Slayer. "S- Seeing as we'll probably have to, um, remove her sh-shirt?" Giles nodded, not wanting to alienate the possible new Scooby, and stepped out.  
  
Willow helped to hold the Slayer up while Tara opened the box. She took out gauze, rubbing alcohol, and a pair of scissors. She plugged the sink full of warm water, and added some of the alcohol to it. After asking Buffy if it she was planning on keeping her tattered shirt and receiving a 'No' in response, she began cutting it apart. She cut around the wounds, which where on her back too, and then just lifted the shirt off.  
  
"Okay, Buffy, this going to hurt a little?" Tara whispered lightly in the Slayer's ear. She simply nodded, and said it was nothing new. Both witches cringed internally at the realization of how many times Buffy had been hurt for this to be normal for her. Tara dipped the gauze into the sink mixture, and began to gently dab at the wound through the tattered shirt. Buffy winced, and drew in a quick breath.  
  
Gritting her teeth and arching her back, and took long deep breaths. Once the dried blood was cleaned away, Tara gently removed the bits of torn cloth delicately. Willow watched as Buffy gazed at Tara with great interest. {She never looked at me like that when I treated her . . .} Willow thought. Tara was taking great care in being as gentle and light as possible, apologizing ever few seconds when she felt the Slayer wince or take in a sharp breath.  
  
"W-Willow?" Tara asked quietly, "How fast do Slayer's heal?" she looked to Buffy wearily. Willow shrugged and asked why. "Well, on most humans, if a cut's been open for more then seven hours then you can't stitch it shut . . . it's already started to heal and may have been slightly contaminated and sewing it up may only guarantee infection . . ." she glanced at Buffy nervously, "I think these should be sewn up, but if she's already started to heal to the equivalent of seven hours then . . . ? What should we do? Sh- should we ask Mr. Giles?" Willow nodded, and went to go get him.  
  
"Thanks Tara, you've been loads of help." Buffy said croakily, though she did manage to smile. Tara blushed and smiled back. Buffy reached out a hand, and held Tara's, grinning weakly. Both blondes hoping that Willow wouldn't come in soon and ruin there little moment. {What moment?} Tara argued, {This isn't a moment, we're just talking, she thanked me for helping her . . . it's no big deal.} Right, like that could convince anyone?  
  
"Tara?" Willow called through the door, "He says to stitch it."  
  
"O-Okay!" Tara called back, she glanced at Buffy and asked, "Who does this usually?" Buffy blushed and looked at her feet, mumbling. "W-Who?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Giles." Buffy said, looking up. "Willow is a little squeamish when it comes to working on living people, and Giles is kinda like my Dad . . ." she trailed off, and Tara felt sheepish. She hadn't known that they were close like family. In some of the texts where she'd read about Slayers, it often told of how (because of their isolation from other people) they often fell in love with their Watchers. {But you knew better,} Tara told herself, {She's surrounded by friends. Why would she develop feelings for Mr. Giles of that nature? Besides, you saw her with Parker just a few days ago.} Tara growled slightly, then realized Buffy could hear her. The Slayer giggled.  
  
"Um, Buffy?" Tara asked lightly, "Would you like me to stitch you? I've done it a few times, and I p-promise to be gentle . . . ?" Tara asked slowly. Buffy smiled and nodded. Tara opened the box, took out the suturing device and threaded it. She made a point to make lots of little tight stitches, lowering the chances of scaring. But as Tara admired the skin that was made available to her eyes, she noticed very few scars. There was one on her neck that she had noticed before Buffy had gone out to Willy's, but that was all that stood out. After covering the stitches with padded gauze, and taping them gently, Tara helped Buffy up.  
  
Waiting outside the bathroom door where the rest of the Slayerettes. Dawn ran to her sister and hugged her tight, causing Buffy to groan and pull back slightly. She turned to smile at all of them, and then to Tara.  
  
"Thanks for helping out so much today Tara, I hope we didn't inconvenience you." Tara smiled and shook her head, saying with a thick stutter that it had been quite an adventure. Buffy smiled and turned to Dawn. "I think I'm gonna take this little girl home, it's way past her bed-time." She ruffled her sister's hair, causing Dawn to argue.  
  
"No! I want to stay! Besides, it's a FRIDAY! Please? You never let me do Scooby stuff!" the girl whined. Tara giggled along with the rest of the Scooby-Gang. {Tara's so lucky!} Dawn thought, {She goes to one little meeting and already the welcome her in . . . I've been here for years and what I get? Nothing. They won't even let me read the books to help with the research! Ugh. At least she's nicer then Anya.}  
  
"Willow, will you walk Tara back to the dorms? I'm going to get Dawn home and go to sleep." Willow nodded, and they all headed into the living room to get their things, then head back out into their lives. Willow and Oz walked along with Tara, talking about Magic and Spells and how great the one they did together went. Willow said she was still learning and needed a lot of practice. Tara offered to work with her and possibly tutor her should she need it. This caused Willow to emit what Oz called 'The Squeak Of Joy', and to jump into the air slightly.  
  
"So Tara," Willow asked suspiciously, "Where did you learn to treat injuries like that?" It had been bothering Willow since Tara had taken over Buffy's care. Tara let her hair fall into her face, and looked down at her feet as she walked.  
  
"I've seen a lot of people get hurt." She said quietly. "My brother used to get banged up pretty bad back home. You know foot-ball players!" she laughed nervously. Willow merely nodded and realized there was something more then she was being told. Willow walked her up to the 6th floor of Stevenson's Hall to room 609, and handed Tara a piece of scrap paper.  
  
"Here's Buffy and My dorm's phone number. If you need anything or have any questions you can call us there. Also, we could use all the help we can get when it comes to Slaying, so any volunteering on your part would be great." Tara nodded, and said she'd love to help out. "Well, we meet almost every day at Giles', who's number I also added to that list (should you need it). Feel free to call him and ask when we'll meet next." She smiled, and said goodbye, waving. Oz nodded and turned to leave with her.  
  
Tara slowly entered her room, turning on her Fairy-lights, and dropping her books on her desk, leaving that library visit until tomorrow. As she got ready for bed, she had the feeling there was something else she had planned to do. {Can't have been that important.} Tara told herself. She crawled under the covers, pulled them up to her chin, and closed her eyes, thinking of Buffy.  
  
Not too far across town, on Rovello drive, another blonde was getting into bed. As Buffy changed she stood in front of the mirror. Lifting the hem of her pajama top, she gently ran her fingers across the stitches on her stomach. Nineteen. She looked at the intricate and carefully sewn injury. Tara looked both worried and caring as she patched her up earlier, but that wasn't all . . .  
  
"She looked beautiful . . ." Buffy whispered to no one in particular. Covering her stitches again, Buffy lowered her top, and climbed into bed. Easing her head down on to the pillow, she looked out her window. Outside she saw the half moon lighting the sky, shining on the tops of houses and the many lamp posts that littered the streets. The last thought in Buffy's head before she fell asleep was that she'd have to find Tara tomorrow and talk to her about being a Scooby.  
  
And somewhere that night, among the dreams about Classes and Vampires, or Family and Free-time, they met in their imaginings. Not knowing it was the true other they met, walking along as though in dream they could not control, they wandered. Each thinking of the other, and missing them by seconds, not knowing it was the Real opposite they'd seen. And when they woke, they knew nothing, and went out to seek the other in life.  
  
  
  
( To Be Continued . . .) 


	4. The Slayer's Sister

(((Author's Note: This is one of the few Chapters that does not center on Tara, or even Buffy. It's told mainly from Dawn's point of view. The next one that isn't Tara-rific will either be Willow or Dawn [again]. Hope you enjoy! Hugs/Kisses/Love to Jean and Danielle, Miss You Both!!!)))  
  
= = = (*The Slayer's Sister*) = = =  
  
Buffy stood by her front door, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for Dawn. She glanced at her watch, gave an exasperated sigh, and called to the teen-ager again to warn her they would be late if she didn't hurry.  
  
"I'm Coming! I'm Coming!" She called irritably as she climbed down the stairs. Buffy grabbed her coat and bad as she fallowed Dawn out and locked the door. As they piled into the car Buffy started the ignition.  
  
"Do you have your Homework?" as she backed into the street. Dawn nodded. "Are you sure? You're positive that you have EVERY-THING you need for school so I don't have to drive it over to you again?" The Slayer said with a slight edge to her voice.  
  
"That was just the once!" Dawn retorted, pulling out her Disc-Man and pulled on the head-phones. Buffy smiled and ruffled her sister's hair. Dawn was trying very hard to fix it and look indignant at the same time but she couldn't help giggling.  
  
"What's gotten into you?" The brunette asked laughing, "Just last night you were almost a Demon Shish-cabob, now you're all smiles and jokes . . ." Buffy grinned as she carefully navigated them to Dawn's School.  
  
"I guess I just slept well . . ." The Slayer mused. Dawn smiled and listen to her music, glancing at Buffy every few seconds. She hadn't seen her sister this jovial in a LONG time . . . Not since Pre-Evil-Angel. {Hmm} Dawn thought to herself sarcastically, {What has happened recently that could change her mood like this?} the young girl shook her head. She was surprised to hear Buffy humming distractedly as they waited at a stoplight. {Seeing as I'll have to wait before checking her diary for details when she goes out Slaying tonight . . . maybe I should see if there's even anything worth investigating?}  
  
"How do you think Tara's holding up?" Suddenly Buffy nearly ran them of the road from jerking the steering wheel so hard.  
  
"Why? What happened?! Did something happen when Willow walked her home?" Buffy asked quickly, worry evident in her voice. Dawn still had one hand against the dashboard and one on the ceiling bracing herself after the light-speed-changing-of-direction event. Breathing heavily, she assured her sister that both witches were fine and that nothing had happened. Buffy sighed, and gripped the steering wheel tightly. {Oh Yeah!} Dawn thought, {DEFINITELY deserves looking into . . . !}  
  
After a few minutes Buffy was back to humming and Dawn's hands were no long in 'Crash-Positions'. She decided that if she couldn't get information from the source, get the next best thing. Go to the one person that might know Buffy better than the Slayer knew her self. {Good thing Willow and I have the on-line tutor session / Yahoo! Chess rendezvous later . . .}. As they pulled in front of the temporary Sunnydale High School Buffy waved and told Dawn to have a good day.  
  
"This is going to be the LONGEST day of school ever!" Dawn whispered to herself as she watched Buffy drive away, albeit a bit faster then she had been before, towards UC Sunnydale.  
(((Author's Note 2: Sorry about the shortness thing, I hope you don't mind. It just seemed like the right place to stop. There WILL be more soon (so no worries), and I hope you like it. REMEMBER: REVIEWS ARE GOOD FOR KARMA!)))  
  
(To Be Continued . . .)  
  
~ VixenRaign ~ 


	5. UnKnown To You

[Author's Note: I have decided that it probably would have been best to attach this small chapter to the one before it, because when combined the make up a normal sized one. So here we go: CHAPTER 5!]  
= = = (*UnKnown To You*) = = =  
  
Buffy walked into the student's center later that afternoon looking for Tara. She glanced around until her eyes fell upon the tall form of blond hair and soft curves. Walking over slowly, the Slayer crept behind the chair in which Tara was sitting. The Witch was sipping tea with a book in her lap. But she didn't seem to me reading the book, instead her eyes were on the piece of paper atop the textbook.  
  
"Hey Tara," Buffy said gently, placing a soft hand on the blonde's shoulder. Tara must have been very deep in thought, because she still jumped.  
  
"B-Buffy!" she stuttered, getting up, "W-W-What are you doing here?"  
  
"Uh, Why? Am I interrupting something?" Buffy asked, looking worried yet curious.  
  
"No, you should be home." Tara said gently, smiling sadly. "You need to heal." The Slayer smiled sadly.  
  
"Tara, really, I'm okay. People would get suspicious if I was always taking days off. Besides . . ."Buffy gently lifted the side of her shirt, making sure no-one was looking. Tara saw the skin, new and healed, and was glad to see it. "There's nothing left to heal really." Tara smiled up at her from the slightly crouched view down by Buffy's stomach.  
  
She attentively reached out and ran her hands over the stitches. There was barely evidence of a cut, though the skin was still a little pink like a faded scar. On closer inspection Tara saw that the skin around the threads were still a bit red. Tara touched them lightly, and looked up at Buffy quizzically.  
  
"Would you do the honor's of removing the stitches later?" Buffy smiled, and Tara didn't trust her voice to speak, so she simply nodded. The witch stood up again, and Buffy put her shirt down. "See at Giles' around 7:30? Xander and Willow were thinking of coming out with me on patrol . . . we're also going to see if we can spot anymore of these weird commandoes that have been spotted around campus."  
  
"I'd l-l-love to go." Tara nodded, and blushed when her stutter reared its ugly head. Bowing her head, Tara let her hair fall into her face again. Suddenly, the witch felt soft fingers in her chin pulling her head back up. Meeting the Slayer's eyes, she saw that she was smiling.  
  
"You know you shouldn't do that . . ." Buffy said quietly. Tara just looked at her confusedly. "I think that it's really endearing when you stutter, and besides -" Buffy pushed the hair behind Tara's ears, "- You're cute when you blush." Tara turned away, cheeks redder then ever, her eyes just missing the red-head that had fallowed the Slayer into the student's center.  
  
"I h-hate it." Tara squeezed out. Buffy chuckled, and nodded.  
  
"I know what you mean . . ." Buffy leaned in close and whispered, "I too used to stutter." Tara's eyes turned quickly to look at the shorter blond, her expression almost shocked.  
  
"You . . .?" Buffy nodded, and smiled sadly.  
  
"Yeah, me. It was when I was A LOT younger though. Until I was about five or six, actually." Buffy laughed, "Anything with an 'S' or a 'W' would take me an hour to get out . . ." Tara smiled and nodded. "What are you're problem letters?"  
  
"All of them?" Tara said sadly, though she did manage to smile. "But mostly 'W', 'R', and 'S'. S-Seems we have some th-th-things in common." Tara smiled, no longer quite so worried about stuttering around Buffy. The Slayer smiled, and Tara continued. "W-What did you do to fix it?"  
  
"My mom sent me to a speech specialist. She worked with me, gave me some tapes and things to say when I started stuttering. But what seemed to help the most was Acting. The put me on stage for school, and the stutter dropped away like it was never there." Tara blushed, and hated it . . . right up until she saw Buffy smile.  
  
"I could n-never do that. People w-w-watching me only, um, m-makes it worse." Buffy chuckled, and grinned.  
  
"That explains it."  
  
"Explains what?" Tara asked, confused.  
  
"Why you always stutter." Buffy said quietly, "People can't help but look at you . . ." Tara blushed a deep red and covered her face with her hand. {Does she know what she's saying?} Tara asked her self, {Probably not, I bet she says nice things like this to Willow all the time . . . she'd just being friendly.} Tara saw Buffy glance at the large wall clock, and then look back at her.  
  
"I have to get to Psychology, and I promised I'd meet Willow first. I'll see you later? Giles' at 7:30?" Tara nodded, and they waved there good- byes. Tara watched the blonde leave, but just missed Willow sneak her way out of the lounge.  
  
Tara sat down heavily, looking at her hands. {What's wrong with me?} She asked herself. Just minutes ago she had been touching Buffy's skin under those fingers, and nothing had ever felt so exquisite and soft. She ran a hand over her temple, feeling where the Slayer's hands had brushed when she'd touched the Sorceress' hair. Thinking of all the sweet things Buffy had said to her made the now dormant butterflies return to warp-speed flapping.  
  
{This is crazy!} Tara berated herself, {I'm just getting my hopes up, she'd never see me like that . . . Why do you always fall so hard for the straight ones, Tara?} Picking up her books Tara went to her next class.  
  
Meanwhile, in a near-by lecture hall, Buffy couldn't stop smiling, and Willow couldn't keep her mind of the lecture. {Perhaps Dawn will know something I don't . . .} 


	6. Long and Involved

(Author's Note: I'm sorry this took me so long, but I needed some time to get it out on paper and to make sure it sounded alright once I typed it. It's a little longer and slightly more broad as far as perspectives go, so please just stick with it because I couldn't figure out a way for it to make sense in any other form. Hope you like it! ~ VixenRaign)  
  
= = = (*Long and Involved*) = = =  
  
Dawn summers sat down at her computer and clicked the little Butterfly Icon on her computer. As it signed on to the internet she turned down the volume so she wouldn't have to hear the annoyingly little squeaking sounds of the server. Once she had successfully signed in, she navigated her way onto the Yahoo! Homepage. Once there she signed into her and Willow's favorite Chess-room, and waited. She sat and played for a few minutes before a private chat-window popped up.  
  
[ScoobySlayeretteVelma: Hey Dawny! Ready for a Science and Strategy session?]  
  
Dawn laughed and replied.  
  
[NotSoSuperGirl: You bet I am! Quiz me, I know almost all of it.]  
  
Willow smiled and tried to think up some questions. As they studied Freshman Science they also played chess. Willow played a little harder that she might have if they were in person. She noticed that when Dawn was winning she wasn't paying attention to the subject material as much. After a few rounds, in which Willow won two and Dawn won one, Willow moved on to the physics section of the study-sheet.  
  
[SSV: What's Newton's second law of motion?]  
  
[NSSG: Ummm . . . ] Dawn paused . . . this was the stuff she hadn't learned yet.  
  
[NSSG: To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction?] Willow shook her head, smiling ruefully. Dawn was very smart, the redhead knew this, but when it came to memorization . . . well, it wasn't the girl's strength. If Dawny found it interesting, she'd remember it for the rest of her life. Willow was just glad that the little brunette found just about everything interesting.  
  
[SSV: Nope, sorry Dawn. That's Newton's Third law . . .]  
  
[NSSG: Is that true with people too?] Dawn asked, curious.  
  
[SSV: What? That every action has an equal and opposite reaction?] Willow was confused. Physics did apply to people: you shove a person, their body will shove back with the amount of weight they possess.  
  
[NSSG: Yeah, like if you give a person a gift, and they like it, then you're happy too because you made them smile? . . . . but that's not a very good example. Feeling happy because someone else does isn't very opposite . . . ] Willow snorted with laughter. The young girl could be funny sometimes.  
  
[SSV: Why do you want to know?] Dawn squirmed in her sheet slightly. This was the moment of truth . . .  
  
[NSSG: Well, I was just thinking . . . this morning in the car Buffy couldn't stop smiling and laughing and making jokes. I haven't seen her like that in a long time. Well, not THAT happy at any rate . . . and then just last night she was almost disemboweled by that Demon you guys were researching.] Willow frowned, where was this going?  
  
[SSV: What's you're point?] Dawn took a deep breath and typed out the rest.  
  
[NSSG: Well, I was just wondering if it was Tara that caused it . . .] Dawn pressed send and waited for a response (for all of two seconds).  
  
[NSSG: I just mean that she's this new person, and ever since she showed up Buffy's been all happy and smiling and I just was wondering . . . do you think Buffy's having that effect on her too?] Willow sat there staring at the screen silently for a few minutes. Was Dawn asking what she thought she was asking? Sure seemed like it. Maybe she should find out a little bit more . . . Dawn sent her another message before she could ask though.  
  
[NSSG: do you think she was acting strangely? Was she any different at school with you today?] Willow remembered the chat in the Student's lounge that she couldn't hear because she was too far away, and the way Buffy was all silent smiled during Psychology.  
  
[SSV: Yeah, I did notice it. She was acting oddly in class today.] Willow wasn't so sure that she should talk to Dawn about what she thought was going on with her best-friend. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing a college student talked to a 14-year-old about. Plus, this was the topic's little sister . . . but then Willow realized that she may know things that the witch didn't. But where did she draw the line? What was the line of where she should stop telling Dawn? She'd jump off the bridge when she got there.  
  
[NSSG: Do you think she likes her?] Dawn asked. Willow didn't quite pick on what she meant.  
  
[SSV: Of course she does Dawny. You saw them together. I think they get along really well.] whish Willow found very surprising, since they supposedly hated each other in high-school.  
  
[NSSG: Really? You think so?! Do you think she'll ever tell her?] Dawn was ecstatic that someone else agreed with her in her theory. Willow however was still a little lost.  
  
[SSV: I don't think do Dawny, I think Tara already knows . . .]  
  
[NSSG: Really? You think so? Well, yeah, it was kinda obvious last night at Giles' place. Besides, that's probably best . . . Buffy's never been good at expressing her feelings.] by now Willow is starting to realized just how in the dust she is about what Dawn is talking about.  
  
[SSV: What do you mean?]  
  
[NSSG: Well, this way Tara can make the first move and Buffy won't blow it. She's not good at planning things that don't end in someone of something dying . . .] Willow was more then just a little shocked, and she was slowly catching on.  
  
[SSV: Dawny . . . what are you talking about?]  
  
[NSSG: Buffy's crush on Tara.] Willow would have been knocked flat on her ass had she not already have been sitting down.  
  
[SSV: Uh . . . Dawny? Do you have any idea what you're saying? You think your sister has a crush on a GIRL . . . ?] Dawn snorted indignantly.  
  
[NSSG: So? You thought she had a crush on Faith way back when . . . !] Willow blushed, remembering the year before, but suddenly remembered.  
  
[SSV: Hey! I Never told you that!] Dawn giggled and glanced at the door, making sure no one was there. She quickly turned back to her convo with Willow.  
  
[NSSG: Oh come on! You could see it! Why else would Faith piss you off so much! She was treating Buffy like crap and you wanted to talk them out of a relationship that didn't even exist.] there was a long pause, and Dawn was worried Willow had left.  
  
[SSV: . . . PROVE IT!] both girls giggled.  
  
[NSSG: Back to Tara tough . . . do you think there's potential there? She's really happy around Tara, and she was almost dead inside after Angel left . . . plus, Tara *ROCKS*!] Willow giggled and thought for a second.  
  
[SSV: Well . . . I thought I saw something this afternoon. I'm not too sure though, I didn't hear what they'd said.]  
  
[NSSG: Hmm . . . I think I might have a way of finding out . . . :-) . . . ]  
  
[SSV: Dawn Samantha Summers . . . ! What are you planning to do?!]  
  
[NSSG: Nothing I haven't done before . . .]  
  
[SSV: You're going to read her Diary again, aren't you?] Willow have an exasperated sigh and looked at her watch.  
  
[NSSG: . . . I never said that] Dawn giggled.  
  
[SSV: Wasn't here, didn't see you, couldn't have stopped you if I was . . .] Willow said, thinking back to Sophomore year with Giles.  
  
[NSSG: Good plan. So! Anything I should look in particular?]  
  
[SSV: Hmm . . . Her stitches, and today in the Student Lounge.]  
  
[NSSG: Got it. Thanx again 'Velma']  
  
[SSV: No problem SuperGirl, Later!]  
  
[NSSG: Bye!]  
  
Just as Dawn had sighed off the computer she heard a knock at her door, fallowed by Buffy entering.  
  
"Hey Dawn." She said, smiling widely, "I'm gonna go shower and get changed and then I'm gonna head over to Giles' for a Scooby meeting, okay?" Dawn jumped out of her chair and rushed over to her sister.  
  
"Do I get to come too?" she asked, excitement evident on her voice. Buffy frowns sympathetically and looks at her feet.  
  
"I'm sorry Dawny, but I think maybe you should stay home tonight. I'm not sure that going to Scooby meetings is the best place for you, especially after last night. Besides, I know mom wouldn't want you to be involved in all that stuff. She's specifically asked me to keep you as far from that as I can." Dawn's face fell, and Buffy actually felt a pang of understanding. She could understand why she wanted to go, it could be kind of fun sometimes.  
  
"Hey, it's won't be all bad, okay? I rented you two of those movies you wanted to see, and I got you extra-butt-pop-corn, and your favorite frozen Pizza. You know, the one with the cheese in the crust?" Dawn nodded, but still looked kind of sad. "Hey, why don't you call up Janice and invite her over to hang out with you? She can ever spend the night if her mom will let her, being a school night an all . . . ?" Dawn sighed.  
  
"She won't be able to. We have a Science test tomorrow, she'll have to stay home and study . . . I doubt anyone will be able to come over." Buffy smiled sadly.  
  
"Well then, maybe it is best that you stay home huh?" she put a hand on Dawn's shoulder, trying to cheer her up, "Get in some extra study time?" Dawny nodded, at least happy that now she'll have the house to herself so she can find and read Buffy's Diary. "I'm sorry that you have to be alone tonight. I promise that I'll call before I go on patrol, and I'll call to tell you when I'm coming home, okay? I'll just do a few quick sweeps then come right back, okay?"  
  
Dawn nods, and walks over to her bed to start studying. Buffy walks over to give her a hug before she turns to leave and take her shower. Dawny laughed to herself, thinking how much Buffy's changed since Tara arrived. Buffy rented her movies and got her a pizza? On a school night? She was liking Tara more and more with every day. {But what if it's a spell?} the teen wondered. {Maybe she'll teach it to me!}.  
  
About forty-five minutes later, Dawn went to knock on her sister's door. When she opened the door she saw her sister sprawled on her bed writing in her diary. {Yes! Diary is a go . . .} Buffy smiled up at her and asked if she needed anything.  
  
"Oh, uh, no." Dawn said quickly, "I was just going to start on of the movies. You want to come an join me?" Buffy seemed to think for a minute.  
  
"Sure." She replied slowly, "I'll be down in a few minutes. Just let me finish this and pack up some stuff to take to Giles', and I'll watch for a couple of minutes." Buffy grinned at her, but quickly added, "Just not the one with the talking animals, please." Dawn nodded as Buffy turned back to her writing, and closed the door all but a centimeter she watched. Buffy quickly finished her entry and placed the book in the top shelve of her night-stand. Dawn smiled to herself, and quietly trotted down to the living room TV.  
  
Later that night at Giles' house the whole gang was assembled, Tara included. They collectively filled Tara in on some of the strangely dressed people they had spotted around the campus. Tara said that she too had seen them sneaking around the school grounds, but they had told her they were the UC-Sunnydale paint-balling team. The rest of the Slayettes gave her looks like she had grown a second head.  
  
"I didn't believe it either." She said, almost silently, no used to having the whole group looking at her. Buffy, noticing this, got up quickly.  
  
"Yeah well, I'd like to see them with their masks off," Buffy said, starting to pace, "I'm not so sure they're human. They're out all the time at night, so you'd think the Vamps would like them around but . . . I think they're scaring them away. My numbers are actually down (Not that I'm complaining), but I think we should find out what they're up to." The rest of the group nodded to themselves.  
  
"Do you have any spells that might help?" Xander said, turning to Tara.  
  
"I-I don't know . . ." she said thinking, "I might have a spell for something that might help. She reached into her bad a pulled out a large Black-leather book. Willow looked at it, Aw etched on her face.  
  
"What's that?" Buffy asked, fascinated her self, though more so because it was Tara's and because of Willow's reaction. The blonde witch blushed and looked away.  
  
"It w-w-was my grandmothers." She took a deep breath, and looked directly at Buffy, "It was her Book Of Shadows." Buffy smiled and sat down next to the Sorceress. Tara noticed that looking at Buffy helped her not to stutter. Somehow knowing that Buffy had once gone through what she was made it easier to get the words out. Willow was more focused on the book then on the interaction between the blondes, though how close they were sitting didn't go unnoticed.  
  
Tara pulled back the cover, and turned a few of the old crisp pages. It smelled like sandalwood and nutmeg, a great mixture of earth and home. Buffy felt Tara take in a deep breath, and watched as the girl ran her hand slowly over one page in particular. Written across it were odd looking symbols that Buffy recognized as Runes and Athenian scriptures. She flipped the page quickly, and turned al most all the way to the back.  
  
"Here, th-this is the spell . . ." she said reading it quickly. Suddenly, her face fell. "Oh. We c-can't do it." She sighed, feeling stupid at suggesting a spell that couldn't even work. She felt Buffy put a gentle hand on her knee and she looked up.  
  
"Why? What's wrong?" Tara blushed and took a deep breath. Looking right at Buffy, she continued.  
  
"We would need something of theirs. L-Like one of their ski-masks, or a g- g-g-g-" she stopped and bit her lip, closing her eyes. She felt the hand on her knee gently rub her lag. She took in a small shuddering breath and squeezed out the small last word (slightly higher than she intended). "Gun."  
  
"What's is for?" Buffy asked her quietly. Tara opened her eyes, the hand on her leg had stilled. Buffy was looking at her as though the other five people were nothing more then paintings on the wall. Tara stared back, willing them to fade into the background too.  
  
"We n-need a generic object, one that th-they would all have." She looked back at the page, reading it again. "Then the Goddess Kalameena will send down a, um . . ." she looked more closely at the page, worried she was translating the symbol wrong.  
  
"What is it?" Willow asked.  
  
"Well . . . I-I think it's Firefly, b-b-but I could be wrong."  
  
"Well, what is it if not Firefly?" Xander asked slowly.  
  
"F-F-Flying Fire." Tara squeezed out in a whisper. Buffy's eyes bugged slightly.  
  
"What is this written in?" the slayer asked quietly.  
  
"A m-mix . . . part Gaelic, part Romaic, but mostly Theban."  
  
"Gaelic?!" Willow asked excitedly, "I can read Gaelic, can I help?" Tara nodded and passed the red-head the book. After a few moments of looking it over Willow was positive that it was FireFly, and not the other way around.  
  
"G-Good, I don't w-w-want to be the one who suggest the s-spell that ends up bringing down one of the g-great plagues . . ." Buffy laughed, and rubbed her knee again as Willow gave her the book back. "W-We can do it as s-soon as the next new-moon." The group all nodded.  
  
"Well, until then I guess I'll just have to find a way to live with the fact that my patrols won't be a fruitful as they once were . . ." Buffy said feigning disappointment. Tara giggled, and Buffy smiled. {Oh Yeah, Dawn was Dead Right . . . speaking of Dawn,}  
  
"Hey Buffy?" Willow asked, "Where's Dawny? Aren't you supposed to be watching her tonight?" Buffy nodded, and got up.  
  
"Yeah, but after last night I realized that maybe my mom had a point behind the whole 'keep-her-as-far-away-from-slaying-as-possible' request. I'm not sure that seeing her sister faint on her watcher's door-step was such a great experience for her . . . besides, she has a test tomorrow so I asked her to stay home tonight." The room nodded, "Oh! Speaking of last night," Buffy walked over to the counter near Giles' kitchen and grabbed the small pair of scissors she had set out before.  
  
"Would you do the honors?" Buffy asked, holding the scissors out to the sorceress. Tara blushed and took them. As Buffy lifted the hem of her shirt, the taller blonde took an audible gulp. Gently cutting the small strings, Tara tried to keep her eyes on the stitches. She was helping Buffy, not checking her out, helping, not ogling. After gently pulling out all the little scraps of string the Slayer put the shirt back down. Suddenly Xander started clapping.  
  
"Congratulations Tara," He said in fake seriousness, "You're not an official Slayerette until you're treated Buffy's mortal wounds." Everyone's eyes rolled, and their heads shook. Xander jokes were not high in quality. Buffy walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver, dialing her home number.  
  
"I told Dawn I'd call before going out on patrol . . ."  
  
After checking in with Dawn and having Mr. Giles check over the spell one last time, they all got up. Oz kissed Willow and told her he was going to have Band Practice until late and that she should just go to bed with out her. Anya told Xander that she would just let herself in, and he had better be back soon so they could have sex. Tara blushed profusely at that comment, and she wasn't the only one. Giles said he would go to the magic store the next day and get the things they would need for the spell. Tara packed up her books silently, wondering what she was supposed to do now.  
  
"Hey Tara?" Buffy said, almost nervously, "Would you like you, um . . . come on patrol with us?" Willow and Xander nodded, saying she was welcome to tag along. "You don't have to, but it would be cool for you to come with us . . . ?" Tara didn't know what to do. She wanted to go, she liked hanging out with the Scooby Gang, but she had never faced a vampire. She had never seen one before that night she first met Buffy on the UC Sunnydale campus . . . would they expect her to kill one herself? Lost in her own thoughts, Tara hadn't even notice Buffy walk over and place a hand on her shoulder. The Slayer leaned in and whispered in her ear.  
  
"I'd never let anything hurt you, you know that right?" myriad of butterflies suddenly sprung to life in the sorceress' stomach, and she blushed to the roots of her hair. Tara, not trusting her voice, nodded. "Besides, tonight's just a quick sweep so I can get home to Dawn. I promised her that I'd be home as soon as possible."  
  
"But, B-Buffy?" Tara asked quietly, "H-How are you going to hunt v-v- vampires AND get an effect f-from the Commando guys if you're j-j-just going to do a quick patrol?" Buffy actually paused at that. She hadn't thought of it. She had made that promise to Dawn before they had found the spell. Buffy frowned. "Maybe I should call Dawn back . . ." but Tara interrupts her before she get to the phone.  
  
"W-Wait," she said turning to the Slayer, "What if I w-watched Dawn? Then y-you could do a full patrol, and l-look for the army guys, and Dawn wouldn't be home all al-l-lone." Tara bit her lips, and stomped her foot lightly, hating the fact that she stuttered so much, and in front of so many people. Buffy nodes, and tells Tara where their house is.  
  
Willow, Xander, Buffy, and Tara walk out of Giles' and head towards Restfield cemetery, partly because it's on the way to Rovello Drive. Xander and Willow walk on as Buffy lets Tara into her house, saying that Dawn was probably studying and that she might not need much supervision, but that she would be happier with someone there with her. Tara nodded and smiled, saying she liked hanging with Dawn the night before and that she was sure they'd get along fine.  
  
"You know you don't have to do this, right?" Buffy asked, holding the door open for the taller blonde.  
  
"I know," Tara said stepping inside, "I want to. Maybe we can patrol another night?" Buffy grinned and walked down her steps backwards.  
  
"Count on it." She nodded, "Willow can walk you back to campus when we're done. We'll be back as soon as we can okay?" Tara nodded, and closed the door.  
  
.  
  
( To Be Continued . . .) 


	7. The Trouble With Angels

Ink Blots Chapter Seven  
  
= = = (* Trouble With Angels *) = = =  
  
Tara walked into the house and gently closed the door behind her. The TV was on, some Disney movie flashing on the screen. But there was nobody on the couch. The Wicca looked about for a few seconds, then decided to check another room. Walking past the front door again, and past the dining table, she pushed through the swing-door into the kitchen area.  
  
The Sorceress' eyes bugged at the sight that met her. The mess was overwhelming! It was on the counter, the sink, the table, even the floor. Tara shook her head and smiled. {Oh yeah,} she thought, laughing, {Dawn's *definitely* been here.}. Walking back out of the kitchen, she sighed. {Well, she *was* there . . . but where is she now?}. Glancing at the stairs, she slowly started walking up them.  
  
After entering the darkened hallway, the blonde groped for a light-switch. Once the lights flickered on, she took in her surroundings. Walking the length of the hall she made her way from door to door, opening all of them in turn. What she found was a linen closet, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. One was elegantly furnished and neatly kept, the other . . . very different. It was almost full to bursting with stuffed Animals and schoolbooks. This had to be Dawn's room. {But if this is her room,} Tara wondered, {Then where is she?}.  
  
After worrying about what she might have to tell Buffy when she got home, the witch noticed a light. It was coming from the far end of the hall, shining out from under a door Tara hadn't noticed earlier. On the front of it was a poster for a band the blonde had never heard of, and a small license plate that had 'BUFFY' stamped across it in yellow.  
  
{So this is her room . . .} Tara thought slowly, {Should I go in? No! . . . well . . . NO!} As she stood in front of the door, contemplating her entrance, Tara considered the 'hows', 'whys' and 'whats' of her interest. After they all led back to same answer of NO, she sighed heavily. {I should at least turn the light off . . . save some money on their electricity bill . . . right?}. As she slowly turned the knob, she reminded herself that she still had to find Dawn, and that was far more important than creepily going through Buffy's things.  
  
Just as Tara reached into shut the light off there was a ear-splitting scream, and a 'flump' on the floor. The poor blonde nearly jumped out of her skin! As she caught her breath, she noticed Dawn who was sitting on the large bed doing the same.  
  
"Jeez! You scared the crap out of me!" Dawn gasped as she took in as many deep breaths as her body would allow. "What are you doing here?" She asked once she'd calmed down somewhat. Tara realized that she was an odd Babysitter for Dawn . . .  
  
"Buffy's patrol is going to be on the long side tonight." Tara said, smiling slightly, now that she'd caught her breath too. "She needs to find something so we can catch a few bad guys later on." Tara leaned against the door frame. "I offered to hang out with you until she gets back." Dawn's face fell slightly.  
  
"Scooby-Sitter . . ." the young girl mumbled. The blonde laughed lightly and shook her head.  
  
"Not even." She chuckled. That'd caught the girl's attention. "Dawny, you're 14, you don't need a sitter . . . besides, I heard how you had a good selection of movies, so . . . ?" the blonde shrugged, "Besides; Rookie. I don't think I'm quite ready for a patrol yet." Dawn nodded and smiled slightly. "So, what are *you* doing here?" The young girl looked confused, and started to reply slowly.  
  
"I Live here." Tara nodded and raised a questioning eye-brow.  
  
"Yes, but what are *you* doing *here*?" Tara questioned, indicating the room with her eyes. Dawn blushed to the roots of her hair, and floundered slightly.  
  
"Me? On, you know . . . nothing much. Just hanging out in, uh . . . MY room, yup, that's it, mine all mine." She laughed nervously and picked up the book that had been strewn on the floor. "Yeah, just doing some reading . . ." she lied quickly.  
  
"Uh-huh." Tara said gently, a slight smile to her features. "so this is *your* room?" Dawn nodded quickly and smiled. Tara pushed the door open the rest of the way. "Even this?" she asked, pointing to the small 'BUFFY' sign. Dawn's face went slack, and quickly turned a pale white. The Sorceress smiled sadly and shook her head.  
  
"I, uh . . ." Tara pushed off the door, and waved the young girl over.  
  
"Come on. Put the book away and we'll go watch that movie you left running." Dawn sighed and closed the book with a slight snap. It was then that Tara saw the words that made up the cover; 'Buffy's Diary'.  
  
"Dawn?" Tara asked slowly, "Were you reading your sister's diary?" she wasn't accusing, and that seemed to throw the young girl off.  
  
"No!" she said quickly, "Why? Do you want to?" she asked, almost by way of a bribe. Tara smiled, and shook her head 'No'. "You sure? It's pretty good?" Dawny offered, realizing that she was, indeed, caught. The blonde just chuckled as she shook her head again. "There's stuff about you in here . . . ?" she offered, trying to sound enticing. That made Tara stop and consider for a second. {Wait! Me? Why am I in there? . . . What did she say about me?}. But as soon as the blonde realized what she was considering, she chuckled and shook her head. {No way.}.  
  
Tara held out her hand for the diary, and Dawn ran over excitedly, giving the blonde the book. The second it was in her grasp she closed it again. Smiling sadly at the now disappointed girl, Tara shook the book slightly for emphasis.  
  
"Dawn," She said slowly, "I'm not going to tell Buffy you were reading her diary, okay? But I want you to think about how you would feel if she went into your room and ready yours, alright?" Dawn nodded, and Tara smiled. "Okay. Now, where did you find it?" Dawn pointed at the now open nightstand drawer. After placing the book back into its place the blonde walked out into the hall and was shortly fallowed by Dawn. After turning the lights off, she gently closed the door.  
  
"Okay, none of this ever happened, right?" Tara asked ominously. "I don't want to get Slayer-Slapped for aiding and abetting a known diary-reader!" The blonde laughed and raced the girl down the stairs, who was also laughing. Tara was a great person, Dawn could tell. Now all she had to do was a little reconnaissance with Willow and they could start formulating a plan to get the two blondes together.  
  
.  
  
= = = (* A Pleasant Awakening *) = = =  
  
Tara was slowly awakened by someone gently shaking her shoulder. Once the blonde opened her eyes she saw Buffy standing over her smiling. Tara smiled back. {That's a great thing to wake up to.} she thought, before she could catch herself.  
  
"Hey." Buffy whispered. Tara stretched lightly, and sat up.  
  
"Hey, s-sorry about falling a sleep." Buffy just shrugged it off.  
  
"It's no problem. I'm sure that if a hoard of angry demons had laid siege on the house you would have woken up. Tara chuckled slightly and took in her surroundings. She was alone, on the couch, and the street out side had become dark and quiet.  
  
"Where's Dawny?" Tara asked quietly. Buffy helped the blonde up, and chuckled slightly.  
  
"I carried her up to bed. She looked like she'd been a sleep for a while." Tara nodded.  
  
"Yeah, she fell a sleep shortly after w-we started the second movie. She seemed really tired." Buffy nodded, and looked around the room lightly. She seemed surprised.  
  
"Well the house sure looks clean . . . that's actually kind of odd." Tara laughed lightly, and looked down at her feet.  
  
"I made Dawny clean up a bit. She'd left a bit of a mess in the kitchen." Buffy chuckled, and smiled.  
  
"I think that may be a first." Tara blushed a bit and glanced up at Buffy. "Ready for me to walk you home?" she asked lightly.  
  
"I thought Willow and OZ were walking me back to campus?" Tara asked as she pulled her jacket on. Buffy smiled slyly, and opened the door.  
  
"Willow decided that she was going to stay at Oz's place tonight, so I offered to walk you back." Tara smiled slightly to herself too, and headed out the door.  
  
"You don't have to walk me back, Buffy," Tara said quietly, "You're already home. Why don't you just stay here with Dawny, I can walk myself. There's no sense in you going then doubling back just for me." Buffy simply smiled, and started walking down the steps.  
  
"Chosen One, Sacred Duty, yadda yadda yadda . . ." Tara smiled and started walking along side her. "Besides, I'm not tired yet. Also, as good as a witch I am sure you are, I'd like to make sure you make it all the way back to your room." Buffy nodded her head in a finalized manner, and Tara just couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Well, th-thanks for l-looking out for me." Buffy smiled widely this time, and gently touched the blonde's arm. The simple friendly gesture made Tara's cheeks color slightly, and her stomach flutter too.  
  
"Oh!" Buffy said suddenly. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a plastic bag. There appeared to be some kind of bunched up fabric in it. Handing it to Tara, she sighed. "One Trooper-hood, as ordered. You might want to leave it in the bag, though, until you need it. The guy was sorta sweaty, so it's pretty smelly." Tara nodded and placed it in her bag.  
  
"Did any of you r-r-recognize the guy under it?" Tara asked slowly, trying to ignore her slight stutter. It was hard to ignore Buffy's slight smile though.  
  
"I didn't, but Willow was sure that she'd seen him in one of her Bio- classes."  
  
"Aren't you w-worried that he'll try and f-find you guys next?" Buffy shook her head and fixed her eyes on the path ahead.  
  
"Not really. I knocked him out pretty good, and then took the mask. I doubt he'll remember me, and he didn't get a glimpse of Will and Oz." Tara nodded, and looked at the path too.  
  
"Well, g-good. Th-that's good." She stammered slightly. Buffy laughed slightly, and Tara looked at her. "W-what?"  
  
"Nothing." She said simply, glancing at her for a second, then back to the quickly approaching dorm building. "I was just thinking."  
  
"About w-what?"  
  
"Just that . . . I dunno, it's nothing." She said, holding the Stevenson's door open. Tara walked through, and was fallowed by the Slayer.  
  
"What?" Tara pressed as they started up the stairs. Buffy chuckled slightly, and looked down at her feet for a second, then back at the witch.  
  
"Just thinking, that maybe I should have kept my stutter." Tara looked confused, wondering why anyone would want a speech impediment. "I dunno, maybe it's just you, but . . . it sounds really cute." Tara blushed, and shook her head. {Is she flirting with me?} Tara wondered quickly, {I think she is . . . maybe she's just one of those flirtatious people. It's probably nothing.}. they had reached the 6th floor, and Tara's door was quickly approaching. Chancing one more look at her escort, she slipped the key into the lock and pushed the door open.  
  
"Thanks for walking me home." She said quietly. "You know you really didn't have to, right?" Buffy nodded, and leaned against the door-frame.  
  
"I know. But it was fun. Gave me something to do." She reached forward, and pushed some hair behind the sorceress' ears. "Good night." She almost whispered. Tara tried to hide her smile in her hair, but her hair was now safely tucked away.  
  
"G-Good night, Buffy." She whispered. The blonde pushed off the frame, and slowly began walking down the hall towards the exits. Tara took in a slightly shuddering breath and closed her door with a gentle snap. As she gently sat down on her bed, she lightly gripped the mattress with her fingers.  
  
{Does Buffy know that she's flirting with me?} Tara wondered. {I'm sure she does . . . maybe it's just part of her personality and I'm just taking it *way* too personally because she's, well . . . she's beautiful, and charming, and . . . Buffy.} Sighing, she wondered what she should do about it. {Should I tell her that I'm gay?} She quickly decided a firm 'No.' on that. She didn't know Buffy well enough to tell her something that personal. She could be slightly homophobic for all she knew. Then she'd probably never see her again. {I feel like I should tell her, but I don't want to scare her away.} From the looks of it, and her new Scooby- Member status, she had a feeling she was going to be seeing a lot more of the little blonde. With that last happy thought Tara started getting ready for bed.  
  
A little ways across town, on Revello Drive (just off of Hadley) a small girl was sitting at her computer, typing an E-mail. Short but informative, it read: "I've got it. See you tomorrow, 3:00, for Hot chocolate. It's time to formulate a plan."  
  
~ VixenRaign ~  
  
_ 


	8. A Note Of Honesty

(Author's Note: I don't own James Taylor, but if I did, I'd make him sing to me every night. I don't own the rights to the songs or any of that legal mumbo-jumbo; I just like the memories of my mom playing them to me as a child. ~Vix)  
  
= = = (* A Note Of Honesty *) = = =  
  
A few days later found the Scoobies a little scattered. Giles and Xander were traveling out of town for the day trying to get a slightly harder to find piece of the Fire-Fly spell they'd need, Willow had run off after classes saying she had a meeting she had to get to, and Oz was out of town down in LA with 'The Dingoes' playing a gig. That left Tara and Buffy with little to do, and after a fair amount of convincing and a bit of bribery the Slayer had convinced the sorceress to go on a patrol with her.  
  
"A-A-Are you sure th-this is a g-good idea?" Tara asked, slightly nervous. The blonde had just walked through the gates of Sleepy Acers Cemetery. Tara had a stake and a cross in the her hands, her knuckles turned white, while the Slayer appeared to be unarmed.  
  
"You should get used to paroling, you're the only Scooby that isn't. I'll feel a whole lot better letting you walk back to your dorm alone if you have a bit more experience in the field. Besides, you promised to come out with me sometime, and tonight just happened to be a beautiful night." Buffy smiled, and Tara smiled back, still slightly nervous. "Don't worry it's been pretty quiet out here lately, and I wouldn't have taken you if it wasn't safe."  
  
"Really?" the sorceress asked, her fear showing in her voice.  
  
"Yeah. It's pretty early in the evening; the only vamps in the grave-yard will be the freshly-risen Newbies. All the other Vampires will be out hunting." Buffy said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Where do they hunt?" Tara asked, almost apprehensive.  
  
"Lets just say you're probably safer here then out on campus." Tara's eyes bugged slightly at that comment. "Yup, Alleys next to movie-theaters, and the college campus are both pretty prime spot to pick up a mean . . . that and The Bronze."  
  
"The B-Bronze?" Tara asked slowly, not sure if it was a district or a lure they used to grab humans. Buffy turned to look at her counter-part, slightly surprised.  
  
"The Bronze is the local club. It's the place to be, basically. The Scooby-Corp spent a lot of time there in high-school." Buffy's smiled turned into a slightly sly grin. "I'll have to take you some time."  
  
"O-Oh, n-n-no, I . . . I can't dance." Tara stuttered, almost frantically. Buffy simply chuckled and smiled as she walked on.  
  
"Then I guess I'll have to teach you." The Slayer sounded fairly confident, which only made Tara worry. She was hopeless when it came to dancing; it was partly why she'd been so reluctant to accept Mel's Invitation to their winter formal.  
  
"B-Buffy?" Tara asked slowly, trying to think of a way to convince the Slayer that the cause was fruitless; she was beyond help. But before she could, the smaller girl's eyes grew large and she yelled.  
  
"Duck!" she dropped to the ground and felt something swish over her head. She saw that it was the arm of a vampire, who's punch had be caught by the Slayer's small but strong hand. Throwing the fist back at its owner, the vamp growled as Buffy started really laying it on him. He threw another punch at Buffy, which she caught, he threw another, which she also grabbed. They were locked, and before the Slayer could blink, he was gone. Still on the ground, panting slightly, was Tara.  
  
"You okay?" the Wicca asked slowly. Buffy nodded, face still shocked, and offered a hand to her fallen partner.  
  
"How did you do that?" Buffy asked incredulously. Tara blushed, and hid her face in her hair.  
  
"It's n-nothing. B-Basic Magics . . . I just threw it, and u-use-used the levitating spell to b-b-balance and guide the stake . . ." Those familiar, deadly, small hands appeared again, and pushed her hair back behind her ears. As her eyes shyly looked up, she saw that Buffy was smiling.  
  
"Guess I'm not special anymore." She said, voice a mix of laughter and surprise. Tara frowned, confused. "I'm the only one of the Scoobies that can throw a stake . . . until now." She said proudly. Tara blushed, and looked down at her feet. The witch felt an arm slide over her shoulder, and her stomach jumped slightly. "You *so* have to teach that one to Willow! She's gonna love it, not to mention that she's a pro at levitation spells these days. Also; I'll feel better knowing that she can do that if she ever has to walk alone." Both girls' faces were turned towards each-other. Though the Slayers warm breath on her face seemed to cause the Wicca's brain functions to slow, it didn't seem to bother Buffy.  
  
"O-Okay." She said simply. Buffy laughed, and they started walking out of the cemetery. Though Buffy's hand never moved from the taller girl's shoulder. Just as they made it to the gate a Vamp popped out of nowhere. Just as Tara was about to scramble for the holly-water in bag, the thing burns into dust.  
  
"Not bad," Buffy said calmly, "No magic, and left-handed . . . that's good even for me." Buffy finished, tone almost chipper. Tara sighed, a laugh lying beneath it. They walked all the way to Giles' without interruption and let them selves in.  
  
"Why doesn't Mr. Giles lock his door?" Tara asked as she placed her purse on the coat-rack near the door. Buffy simply shrugged and flopped down on the couch.  
  
"I dunno . . . you'd think with all the weirdoes in this town he'd be more careful about that . . . not that he has to worry about the Vamps getting in though . . ." Tara nodded and sat on the chair opposite the couch. They looked at each-other, Tara feeling slightly nervous, but the Slayer simply smiled. "Hungry?" she asked slowly, almost flirtatiously. Tara nodded slowly, and Buffy chuckled as she went to the Watcher's fridge.  
  
"So what do you want?" She called over to the witch, head in the icebox. The blonde's slightly bent position had given Tara a rather nice view of her rear. "He's got chicken, blood, Wheat-A-Bix, uhhh . . . more blood . . . Yogurt - "  
  
"What kind?" Tara called quickly, her inhibitions about eating Mr. Giles' food depleted as her gaze remained fixed on the slayers back-side.  
  
"Uhhhh . . . . Peach." Buffy said finally. As she extracted herself from the refrigerator Tara snapped her eyes up to the blonde's face so as not to be caught staring. In her hands she shook two little containers of Yogurt and smiled. Tara nodded. "A girl after my own heart." Buffy laughed. Grabbing two spoons as well, she tossed Tara her snack.  
  
"Thanks." Tara whispered quietly. Buffy smiled, and pulled the foil off of her treat. With slightly glazed eyes Tara watched as the Slayer at her yogurt. As the spoon passed between those soft pink lips and was then slowly pulled back out, the sorceress was transfixed. The way she licked the excess off her lips, the pleased, yummy noises the blonde made . . . she had no idea that simply watching Buffy eat would seem . . . so . . . erotic. {It must be the Slaying . . .} Tara rationalized as Buffy ran her silken tongue over the tip of the spoon and she nearly swooned, { . . . it does stuff to the mind.}  
  
"You going to finish that?" Buffy asked her quickly. Tara blushed and took her first bite. She hadn't ever realized how hungry she'd become. Buffy chuckled, and got up. "Lets see if Giles still has that TV hidden in here somewhere . . ." Buffy said slowly, walking across the room and moving large stacks of papers and books. After a few minutes, there was still no TV, but as the Slayer tripped, they heard a distinct sound. A 'Twang', or sorts. "What the - " Buffy asked, reaching under an audimen and pulling out a guitar.  
  
"Is that Mr. Giles'?" Tara asked, placing her now empty yogurt carton down. Buffy nodded and handed it to the Witch. She noticed the blonde eyeing it closely and sat down on the armrest of the chair the girl'd been sitting in.  
  
"Do you play?" Buffy asked slowly, curious. Tara's eyes bugged, and she tried shoving the guitar back into Buffy's hands. "Oh no you don't! I saw you, you play . . . just show me a little somethin'?" the blonde asked, putting on her best puppy-dog eyes. Tara's mouth opened and close like a fish out of water. She couldn't say no to Doe-Eyed-Buffy, but at the same time . . . well . . .  
  
"I've n-never played for anyone before." She said suddenly. "My m-m-mom played, and well . . . after she d-died . . . I taught myself so I could play the songs she used to." She whispered quietly, Buffy smiled sadly, and lightly touched the blonde's shoulder.  
  
"What songs did she like to play?" Buffy asked quietly, and Tara smiled, thoughts wondering back to when she was young, and she used to beg her mom to play for her.  
  
"James Taylor." Tara said gently. "She loved his songs, and she liked to play them to . . . they're *really* hard though." She said sadly. "And I haven't practiced for months." She added, realizing that she'd not played since she'd moved and left her guitar behind.  
  
"Play for me?" Buffy asked quietly. It was a heartfelt request; no puppy- eyes, no pout, asking as though she knew it would make the Witch feel better. "Just pretend I'm not here." Buffy offered, voice nearly silent. Tara pulled the guitar onto her lap and closed her eyes. Placing her fingers on the strings, she paused. {What to play . . . ?} She wondered. Then it came to her.  
  
Tara plucked at the strings for a few seconds, tuning the guitar lightly as she did. She played a few notes, stopped, shook her head, and tried again. She did this a few times; she'd play for a second, then would stop, frown, and try to play again. Taking a deep breath, she started humming the tune, and played for a second.  
  
"Something wrong?" Buffy asked her gently. Tara smiled sadly up and her, and leaned on the guitar.  
  
"It's a lot easier when I had the sheet-music in front of me. I think I'm out of range, or maybe I just forgot how . . ." Tara sounded so sad at the idea and Buffy getly patted her back.  
  
"Why don't you try to sing it? Maybe the words will help you remember how the notes fall?" Buffy offered gently. Tara grimaced slightly, and looked from the guitar to the blonde, and then back at the instrument. "Don't worry about me," Buffy said laughingly, "I've endured Xander singing in the shower after he's been thoroughly slimed on patrol . . . I'm *positive* your voice is better, unless you also sound like a 13-year-old boy that shifts from low ranges to high ones." Tara smiled and hummed for a second before starting to sing to the music she was suddenly playing.  
  
"In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina  
  
Can't you see the sunshine  
  
Can't you just feel the moonshine  
  
Maybe just like a friend of mine  
  
It hit me from behind  
  
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
"Karin she's a silver sun  
  
You best walk her way and watch it shinin'  
  
Watch her watch the mornin' come  
  
A silver tear appearing now I'm cryin'  
  
Ain't I goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
"There ain't no doubt it no ones mind  
  
That loves the finest thing around  
  
Whisper something soft and kind  
  
And hey babe the sky's on fire, I'm dyin'  
  
Ain't I goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
The sound of the Wicca's voice was hypnotizing. Buffy was in a trance. For all the stuttering that Tara did, she had the smoothest, softest, most wonderfully melodious sound that Buffy's ever heard. The way the sorceress played the guitar flawlessly, eyes closed, and sang like there was nobody listening . . . it was amazing. The Slayer was completely caught off guard, and without warning, she felt something in her stomach jump.  
  
"In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina  
  
Can't you see the sunshine  
  
Can't you just feel the moonshine  
  
Maybe just like a friend of mine  
  
It hit me from behind  
  
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
"Dark and silent last last night  
  
I think I might have heard the highway calling  
  
Geese in flight and dogs that bite  
  
Signs that might be omens say I going, going  
  
I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
"With a holy host of others standing 'round me  
  
Still I'm on the dark side of the moon  
  
And it seems like it goes on like this forever  
  
You must forgive me  
  
If I'm up and gone to Carolina in my mind"  
  
Tara kept her eyes closed, remembering the way she used to sit in the attic and play her mom's old classical guitar. She remembered the slightly battered songbook she'd had to buy used due to the fact that it was the only one she could find with James Taylor at the pawnshop. In her mind, she could hear her mother's voice, as clear as it was all those years ago. She remembered the way she used to sing this song to her when her father would lock her in her room. She'd sit outside the door and play for her. a strong reminder of how much she loved her.  
  
"In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina  
  
Can't you see the sunshine  
  
Can't you just feel the moonshine  
  
Maybe just like a friend of mine  
  
It hit me from behind  
  
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind"  
  
As the song ended Buffy clapped, pulling Tara out of her memory induced reverie. She blushed to the roots of her hair, and covered her face in her hands. {I can't believe she heard that!} Tara berated herself, {you sang in front of her?! Now she's going to make fun of you for the rest of the time she hangs out with you . . . which won't be for much longer now, thanks to this!} She was panicking slightly internally. But before she could run from the house in distress, Buffy gave a slight 'whoop' of approval.  
  
"That was amazing!" Buffy chuckled, and Tara was shocked to hear that it was both laughing and, well, shocked. "How can you do that?!" she asked totally perplexed. "I can sward-fight with my eyes closed, but ask me to play anything even remotely musical . . ." she trailed off, and smiled widely. "And with your eyes closed!" she added suddenly. "Wow." She finished. Tara blushed so red she felt her skin warm.  
  
"I-I-I-it w-w-w-was n-n-n-n-" she stammered terribly, but Buffy wouldn't let her finish. Placing a gentle finger on Tara's lips, and leaning close, Buffy smiled. The Wicca felt her heart suddenly hammer, and she was sure that the Slayer could hear it pounding in her chest.  
  
"No, Tara . . . that was *really* something." The blonde said quietly, looking her directly in the eyes. Leaning back and removing her finger, Buffy smiled. "So why'd you pick that one?" Buffy asked suddenly, as though their intimate little moment hadn't happened. Shaking her self out of her thoughts, Tara put the guitar gently down.  
  
"W-w-well, my m-mom used to p-p-play it to m-me." Her stutter was off the charts, and she couldn't get it under control. {Clam down Tara,} she pleaded with herself, {She said you can sing, but what use is that if you can't ever talk?} Buffy smiled at her and leaned forward a bit again. "I th-th-think it was her f-favorite." Buffy leaned close again, and took one of the Wicca's hands in hers.  
  
"Think of the sounds." she said gently, quietly, "All the letters, string them together, until they make a syllable. Take as much time as you need . . ." she said it in almost a whisper, but Tara heard every word. She nodded, taking in a deep breath through her nose, and closed her eyes. {Don't think about her hand in yours, think about what you're trying to say!}  
  
"She Used To Play It For Me When I was Young-er." She said very slowly, saying each syllable clearly. She opened her eyes, surprised at how quickly she'd been able to do that. Buffy smiled, and nodded for her to continue. "It always made me feel better." She said, sounding a little less jerky though it was still said slowly. "Also, I think it reminded her of happier days." Tara said evenly, without any difficulty. Both smiled, but Buffy's suddenly turned to confusion.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well," Tara replied, trying to keep an even voice, "My Mom, my whole family actually, is from South Carolina. It's where she grew up, where my grandmother taught her magic . . . back before things go so crazy with my Dad." She said quietly, trailing off at that last bit. "He decided that we should move out to California for better schools, better jobs . . . also; people would accept us more. My Mother refused to give up Magic, no matter what my father asked." Tara said slowly, "He wasn't happy when he found out that my mother *and* my grandmother had taught it to me too."  
  
"I just realized something." Buffy stated quickly. Tara looked at her, almost surprised. "I no almost nothing about you." Tara smiled and hid her face in her hair. She reached up and pushed it back herself, just as she saw the Slayer reaching to. She caught Buffy's eye for that brief second, then looked back down at the floor. "But I want to know more." She said, this time it was a whisper. Tara took in a silently shaky breath, and looked back into those hazel eyes.  
  
"What do you think you know so far?" Tara asked gently, worried about what she might hear. {I hope she hasn't figured out that I'm a demon yet,} she thought, {although . . . with Anya . . . maybe she'd be merciful?}  
  
"Well, I know you're a college student," Buffy said playfully, "I know you went to Hemry High, and are a bad-ass Wiccan Sorceress. I also know that you can play guitar, sing, and throw a stake like no-body business." Buffy said confidently. Tara giggled as much as the butterflies in her stomach would allow, and looked up the Slayer again, this time not looking away. "I also know that you're helping us fight the forces of evil, you have a very cute sounding stutter that I'm starting to think you do on purpose because your realizing how sexy you sound with it . . ." at that Tara's eye widened, though the blonde seemed unfazed by her own comment, " . . . and you prefer the fairer sex." She added in a whisper, though not as though she was hiding it, as though simply tapering off.  
  
"Y-y-you knew?!" Tara whispered frantically. Buffy nodded, smiling, but it quickly faded.  
  
"Of course I knew . . . I was one of the girls that locked you in that broom-cupboard all night." The amount of self-disgust she's heard when they'd re-met was just as present, if not more. "I am so sorry about that, Tara. I didn't know anything about you then - I didn't even know me!" she added quickly. "That was before I was even called as a Slayer; I didn't even know it was inside me . . . now look. It's changed my life for the better and it's made me who I am; a better person. Will you forgive me?" Buffy asked gently. Tara nodded, smiling, and the Slayer sighed.  
  
"Giles, you need to buy a grown-up car!" Xander yelled as they barged back into the Watcher's house. Tara jerked slightly, tugging her hand out of Buffy's that she'd forgotten was there. Buffy got up and walked over to Giles.  
  
"My automobile is a perfectly fine machine!" The older man defended, "It runs well enough for my tastes."  
  
"Giles, the last time I was in that car with you we were pulled over for going too slowly." Buffy stated, and Giles glared. The Slayer shot a smile to Tara, and the Wicca smiled back nervously.  
  
"Yes, well . . ." he started, but then stopped, "What are you doing here?" he asked, as though suddenly realizing that this was *his* house. Buffy giggled, and waved a hand towards Tara.  
  
"Took Tara for her first patrol, she did Excellently. She even stakes a Vamp all by her self." Buffy said proudly. Xander gave her the thumbs up, and Giles congratulated her. they spoke for a few minutes, and Giles showed Tara what they'd purchased. It was a Monoxle Horn, and it was used to call upon the wills of insects. Whenever there was a cures to cause a plague of locusts there was probably a Monoxle horn involved, Giles explained. After gathering all the ingreedince together and storing them for a few weeks time, Anya showed up and dragged Xander off without a word.  
  
"I think I'll take Tara home now," Buffy said, taking her coat off of the rack by the door, "I bet Willow's back by now, and I'm sure Tara's tired." The Wicca nodded, and took her bag. After Tara had been dropped off on her floor, Buffy walked into her room. Willow had fallen asleep already, book in one hand, high-lighter in the other. After putting them both on the nightstand for the redhead, Buffy smiled. She couldn't seem to get happy thoughts out of her mind and that wasn't all. She flopped down onto her bed and sighed, smiling up at her ceiling.  
  
"Oh yes I'm going to Carolina in my mind . . ."  
  
(To Be Continued . . .)  
  
~VixenRaign~ 


	9. Deep Breaths

.*.  
Author's Note: This took me what feels like forever to write for many reasons I can't explain or excuse. My only hope is that the people who this story mattered to don't hate it all of a sudden, and that the message is still the same. The rites to the song belong to Faith Hill and her CD Breathe. I know this song is usually thought of in the context of sex, but please think of it in the context of the scene. There was never going to be another song for this story, and I hope that the people who mattered to this story know that.  
Dedicated to C, David, and Isis; you made me want to write this again, and thanks for all the good advice along the way. Enjoy. Warning! Technically Un-Beta'd!!! . . . =)  
  
Ink Blots, Chapter Nine:  
  
= = = (* Deep Breaths*) = = =  
  
Tara took one look at her self in the mirror and groaned. She looked stupid, she thought, this was nothing to wear to a club. She turned slightly, trying to think this out-fit over again from a new angle, and still hated it. {It's not my fault!} she complained to her own head, {I've never been to a club! How should I know what to wear?!} As she looked at the previously rejected clothes piled on her bed, she sighed frustratedly and shuddered. What would Buffy think of her showing up to go out to a club in this, she wondered?  
  
Just as she considered pretending to call in sick, her spell books caught her eyes. Maybe she could cast a spell on herself to make her appear more fashionable, or attractive. She shook her head, rejecting that use of magic as it was far too selfish, and no good for anyone but her. {But then again,} she though, slowly approaching her desk, {No-one would even know . . . and I don't think I can go out with these clothes.} Just as she put her hand on the cover of one of her spell-books, there was a knock at her door. Jumping out of nerves, she knocked the book to the ground.  
  
"J-Just a moment!' she called at her door, crouching down to pick up the fallen binding, she couldn't help but smile sadly at herself. {Wow, MaClay, this Buffy girl sure has got you wrapped around her little finger.} Getting up and walking to the door, she took another second to straighten out her skirt and flatten out any wrinkles in her blouse. Taking in a deep silent breath, she pulled the knob to find two smiling girls on the other side.  
  
"Hi!" Willow said a little too excitedly, though her face had a second layer to it Tara couldn't describe, "We're just going to do a quick patrol on the way, I brought stakes!" she said, holding them up and smiling a little too widely. Buffy also seemed to notice the over-jovial quality of the redhead as she chuckled and shook her head a little.  
  
"Willow's been looking forward to trying out your levi-staking trick," She said smiling warmly at Tara, "She's been practicing on my knife-throwing board all week. She's gone through a hefty box of pencils going about it too." Tara laughed a little silently, and Willow blushed. "Ready to go?" the Slayer asked, sounding calm as day.  
  
"W-Will they l-let me in?" she asked slowly, "I'm 18, but I'm not 21, not that I w-would drink anyways, b-but . . . Do I look alright?" she asked quietly, cutting to the heart of her worries. Willow nodded right away, her overly-wide smile never fading, whereas Buffy took a second approach. The light hazel eyes of the blonde slowly raked over Tara's body in a fashion that was obviously not just to take in her clothes, but also the body underneath. It made Tara's skin warm and a slight shiver run up her spine, filling her with excitement. She was so caught off guard by Buffy's discreet checking her out that she almost didn't catch a word of what Willow had said.  
  
"Don't worry, If they let me in when I was younger, they'll let just about anyone in. I think their dress code is just that you have to wear *Something*. The Bronze has no age limit, Xander and I have been frequenting that place since we were freshmen in high-school, in fact Dawn's gonna be meeting us there." At that Buffy gave a silent groan, and Tara's eye-brow raised. "Sorry!" Willow said, not looking at either of them in the eyes, "I told her if she got an A on her science test I'd take her. Besides Buffy, your mom wants you to go with her the first time to keep an eye on her. She knows how dangerous it can get down there."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, doesn't mean I have to like it." the slayer mumbled to her self. Tara laughed, but pulled it in, causing the shorter girl to look at her, though she smiled shortly thereafter. "Read for your first Bronze Adventure?" Tara nodded, and opened the door a little wider.  
  
"Yeah, just let me grab a coat." She said, turning back to her bed and sorting through the pile of clothes to find a jacket that might remotely go with what she was wearing. Grabbing a camel pea-coat and pulling it on, she put a bottle of holy-water in one of the pockets and looked up her sleeve to make sure the stake she'd hidden there a few days ago was still in place. As she walked back to the door she saw Buffy standing at the line under the arch and looking into the room, taking in the sights, particularly the bed with the pile of discarded clothes.  
  
"I take it you were a little unsure of what to wear?" she said gently, pointing to the small heap. Tara blushed lightly, but nodded, closing the door and locking it behind her. "Well, what you picked looks great, I must say." She said, a slight smirk creeping up the left side of her cheek. Tara looked down at her flowing floral skirt, long sleeve maroon Custo top with a owl on it, and started to wonder if Buffy was catching something she wasn't.  
  
"W-What cemetery are we going to?" She asked, glad to notice her stutter had gotten lighter since Buffy and her talk at Giles'.  
  
"Not a cemetery," Buffy said as they made their way down the stairs leisurely. "It's a Saturday night, so the Bronze should be pretty active. That means the Vamps will come to us. They'll be in the club, and it's our job to find them and take them out . . . and have some fun in between." She said winking at Tara. Willow smiled and slid down part of the banister, to which Buffy followed suit, and with a little apprehension the Sorceress did as well. {I can do this,} Tara thought {I can have fun. Shouldn't be too hard, Willow and Buffy seem to be pretty easy going.}. The taller girl was just hoping the Slayer had forgotten that Tara couldn't dance and she intended to teach her.  
  
As the girls made their way towards a slightly more industrialized part of town that Tara wasn't very familiar with, they talked about all sorts of things. They talked about the spell they had coming up to find out who the commando guys were, classes they liked or disliked, teacher they were sure were some kind of demon is disguise, movies they wanted to see. It was all very casual and normal . . . for the average Scooby Gang member. And as Tara realized she was quickly becoming just that, she couldn't seem to wipe the grin from her face.  
  
"Uh Buffy . . ." Tara said quietly as they made their way down an ally where music could be heard getting louder. They must have been approaching the Bronze, and there could be seen two people who might have just been making out, but Tara seriously doubted it. One of them seemed far too limp to just be kissing.  
  
"I see them," Buffy stated quietly, keeping her stride even, "Act natural." She instructed, walking right past him, whipping out a stake and dusting him without a second glance. The girl fell to the ground, and Willow crouched down to look over her.  
  
"She's alive." The redhead said a little less calm than before. "I think he drugged her, she just seems to be asleep." Buffy chuckled darkly.  
  
"I don't know what's worse, using Roofies to rape girls, or for Vamps to feed off them." Buffy reached into her pocket and pressed some button on her speed dial. "Hello, Sunnydale Hospital?" There was a pause as the shorter girl took a deeper breath, "There's been a girl drugged at The Bronze on Industrial Avenue, she's been attacked with lacerations to the throat and needs assistance as soon as possible." She then hung up without another word, and Willow gently lay the girl's head back down on the cold ground.  
  
"I'll take Tara inside, will you wait for the Meds?" Willow asked, seeming as though this was nothing more than flat-tire. Tara had never seen a Vampire feeding before, and the fact that her two friends were so nonchalant about it made her realize how many times this must have happened. as they made their way in, Buffy standing over the body, Tara handed the door-man her $8 and looked around the club for the first time.  
  
It was nice. Not quiet what she'd expected, granted, but in a good way. There was a pool-table to one side of the club, a moderate yet formidable dance-floor which was loosely occupied by a number of people dancing, laughing and having fun to the songs the DJ was playing. Behind him there was an un-used drum set and a few amps that sat idly until the next band rotated through. Which Tara had learned was Oz's band, next Friday, to which she was going with the rest of the Scoobies for her first Dingo's Night. It was great; casual, and no one was dressed to impress. She could learn to like it here with minimal effort.  
  
Willow led her to a small center table where Xander and Anya were sitting watching the people on the dance floor. Oz got up and hugged Willow, who gave a short little squeak of happiness at seeing her boy-friend. Dawn sat on a stool rubbing at a small black stamp on her hand, taking in everything about the club. {That must be the look on my face as well.} Tara thought laughing silently to her self.  
  
"Tara!" Dawn yelled happily at seeing the Sorceress, "Hey! Isn't this place cool?" she said, taking Tara's hand and leading her to the last free chair. "I knew this place was cool . . . just wish there were some people here even remotely my age." She added on to the end a bit sadly. It was true, Dawn would have a little trouble blending in here for another year or two, but at least she seemed to like the place.  
  
"Yeah, it's a lot different than I thought it would be." Tara said, looking to the door, checking to see if Buffy had come in yet, "Good job on that Science test, by the way." Tara said, looking back at the younger girl. Dawn looked confused until Willow nudged her, looking pointedly.  
  
"Oh! Right! *That* science test!" Dawn said, as though she was only just getting it. "Yeah, that was all Willow; she totally saved me on that, I'm not so great with Physics." That confirmed it, {There is definitely something going on here} Tara wondered, {But what does it have to do with Willow and Dawn? And why doesn't Buffy know?}  
  
"Hey gang!" Buffy said happily, popping up as though out of nowhere and surprising Tara more than anyone. "Save me a seat?" she asked, looking around and not finding one.  
  
"You can have mine," Anya offered, "I was just thinking about moving to Xander's lap and making him squirm uncomfortably." The group sort of quieted after that, at which point the blushing brunette of a boy put a hand on his girl-friend's arm and spoke quietly in her ear so that no one could hear him. "But I thought you liked it?" She questioned loudly, making everyone (even Oz) raise an eye-brow. Xander simply chuckled again and took Anya by the arm out to the dance floor. Buffy followed them with her eyes, laughing silently and sitting down in their now empty chairs.  
  
"Meds get here alright?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded, but it was with a scowl. "What happened? Did they blame you again?"  
  
"Yeah," The blonde grumbled as she pulled off her coat, "They said that I seem to find too many injured or drugged bodies for it to just be an accident." Tara chuckled, having just wondered if they'd think the same thing. Buffy just smiled and continued. "I told them I have taken it upon myself to look out for the safety of my fellow clubbers; if there are too many deaths or unreported attacks they might shut the club down and I could think of nothing worse." By the end the tone of her voice was sickeningly sweet, and the table laughed. "How you holding up?" she asked, eyes falling on both Tara and her sister.  
  
"Pretty good." They replied in unison. Buffy nodded, and got up.  
  
"Save my seat, I'm gonna go get something from the Bar." She walked off, and soon after Willow got up as well.  
  
"I'm going to go too, anybody want anything?" Dawn asked for another Pepsi and Tara asked for any kind of Orange Soda. Both Willow and Dawn exchanged pointed looks before the redhead followed the Slayer to the drink counter. Something was going on here, and she was going to figure out what.  
  
"Do you dance?" Dawn asked her quickly, shaking her out of her thoughts. Tara shook her head sadly and looked at the floor. "Why not?" Tara laughed.  
  
"I just c-can't. I tried to at m-my Winter formal last year, but it was s- s-so bad that people asked me to stop. I think I just don't have the ears for it; can't k-keep a beat v-very well." Dawn nodded. Tara looked down at the table, then back towards where Buffy and Willow were standing at the drink table. She hadn't even realized that Buffy had been looking at her. The blondes waved lightly at each-other, then turned back to their neighbors. Dawn was smiling slightly at her, making Tara fidget slightly.  
  
"You and Buffy sure get along really well." She said slowly, as though she was leading up to something.  
  
"Uh, y-yeah. She's, uh, very nice." Dawn rolled her eyes as if to say 'think whatever you want', and shook her head.  
  
"I bet she could teach you to dance." Dawn offered, causing Tara to freeze slightly in her seat.  
  
"Um, Dawn, look – "  
  
"No, really, I bet she could!" she insisted, interrupting the Sorceress, "She taught Willow how to dance and she was pretty bad when they first met. I bet she wouldn't mind; she loves teaching people." Dawn laughed a little at that. "I mean, anyone could understand why, there's not much she's good at besides killing things and dancing." Tara gave her a surprised look, almost warning her to be nice, but before she could jump in to defend her, Willow put a bottle of Crush in front of her.  
  
"Dawn, look," she started slowly, "Your s-sister already offered, and, um, I was sort of hoping she'd forget. I can't dance, and I'm f-fine with that." Dawn looked quickly at Willow, then back at Tara, "Besides, if I wanted her to teach me how to dance, I'd want it to be in privet." At that Dawn coughed on the sip of Pepsi she'd just taken. Tapping the young girl on the back, she continued. "I j-just mean . . . I w-wouldn't want to go through the embarrassing bumbling st-stages of learning with all these p-p- people around, you know?" the small brunette nodded, and took a slow drink again.  
  
"Oz, did you see where Buffy went?" Willow asked her boy-friend, who's eyes were on the darker end of the club. The young man nodded, and leaned in to the table a bit to talk to his girl-friend.  
  
"Yeah, I have an eye on her." He whispered stoically. Tara followed his eyes to where a man dressed in a polyester leisure suit was pulling a giggling Buffy by her hips into a dark corner. Tara looked around the group to see how they reacted to this. Tara felt a small burst of heat in her stomach of jealous anger, combined with a feeling of cold on her forearms of rejection. {She rather be with that out-of-style weirdo than hang out with me?} she thought sadly, {Am I really that dull?} But just then she saw his face contort into a mask of evil; he was a vampire. And then it all made sense.  
  
"She let him think he was seducing her," she whispered to herself as she watched him suddenly burst into dust, "But she was the one doing the seducing."  
  
"Works every time." Xander said quietly in her ear, back from the dance floor with Anya. Tara blushed, unaware that she'd been heard. Buffy briskly walked back to the table, dusting off the front of her shirt as she went. "Need a napkin?" The boy offered. Buffy chuckled and slipped her stake back into the back of her black leather pants.  
  
"More like a dust-buster." She chuckled, finally giving up on her clothes. "Besides, I'd rather dance," she said happily, "Any takers?" she asked, sounding hopeful. Xander just groaned and plopped down heavily in his seat.  
  
"Count me out," he grumbled, reaching down towards him shoes, "Anya stomped on my feet because she thought I was looking at another girl on the dance floor."  
  
"You were looking at another girl on the dance floor, Xander." The table looked at Xander, waiting to hear what his comeback was going to be.  
  
"Yeah, but I thought she was a vampire." Came his feeble excuse. Oz smiled at that, and Willow held in a laugh. Buffy looked around for any new takers, at which point Dawn nudged Tara so hard she almost became unbalanced. She looked at Dawn wide-eyed, who tried to look innocent. Nervously glancing back at Buffy she saw that the other blonde was looking at her expectantly, almost eagerly.  
  
"We'll join you." Willow chimed in, taking Oz's hand and leading the way to the center of the club. Buffy stayed behind for an extra second.  
  
"You sure you don't want to join us?" she asked, backing up towards the already happy dancing couple. Tara shook her head, smiling.  
  
"Maybe later." She lied, but regretted it as soon as she said it, as Dawn gave out a loud squeak of joy, rivaled only by Willow's. "Dawn!" she said loudly, turning to face the smaller girl, "What do you think you're doing? You knew I don't dance, why would you do that?" Tara was upset, but she couldn't help it lessening as she saw the excited look on the girl's face.  
  
"Are you really gonna dance later?" she asked excitedly. Tara hesitated, looking out to where Buffy already had a suitor trying to get her attention. "I - - Uhh . . . Well . . ." as she watched the Slayer gently push the boy away, smiling sadly and wink at her from so far way, she felt her courage build a little. "Um, yeah. I guess I could g-give it a shot." She said looking at Dawn who was smiling like a Cheshire Cat. She sipped her drink as listened to the music. It was active and the same sort of stuff you might hear on a popular radio station, though with out the annoying commercials.  
  
She sat and talked to Xander about his job as a construction worker, getting to know him better, while Anya danced in her seat a little, later joining the rest of the Scoobys on the dance floor. She even played thumb wrestling with Dawn for a bit until a boy about her age came and asked her to dance. He must have been a year older, but he said he was there with his older brother as well. Under the table Xander poured a bit of Holy Water on her palm, and she extended it to shake his hand. He wasn't a vampire, but he did ask her if she was nervous. Explaining it away as there was a lot of condensation on her drink, they headed for the dance floor as well.  
  
With Xander and Tara alone at the table now, they talked idly about the club, how long he'd known Buffy, what Tara was majoring in, and it was all well and good . . . until he started asking personal questions.  
  
"So Tara," he asked jovially, taking the last sip of his beer, "Seeing anyone?" Tara looked up at him sharply, and he chuckled. "I'm not offering, don't worry; I'm just curious." Tara laughed apprehensively and looked down at her empty bottle of Crush.  
  
"Uh, no, actually. I was sort of seeing someone but, we haven't seen each- other in a long time." She wanted to leave it intentionally vague, but she seemed to have peaked his interest.  
  
"Really? What happened, you two lose touch when you left for college?"  
  
"Not exactly." She said shortly, eyes fixed on the now larger group of people on the dance floor, trying to locate the Scoobys in the mass of it all. "They spent their second semester of senior year in New York on an arts scholarship program . . . they never came back and I haven't gotten a letter in months, so I'm pretty sure we're broken up." She said it flatly, though over time it'd caused her a lot of grief. She could see Xander nodding out of the corner of her eye. Then she felt a soft hand gently snake over her right shoulder.  
  
"Hey," Buffy said close to her ear, "Wanna dance?" Tara turned to look at her, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, what little courage she had was depleted. Just as Tara started making violently stuttered and incomprehensible excuses not to, Buffy took her by the wrists and pulled her towards the dance-floor. "Come on! You said you'd let me teach you!" she said excitedly over the music.  
  
"I never said that!" Tara yelled back, voice a bit higher than she remembered it last, "You j-just said you would without asking me if I w- wanted to learn!" Buffy just chuckled and pulled her towards the group of gathered Scoobys.  
  
"Yeah, but you never said no!" Tara stood stock still on the floor, internally hoping that some terrible non-lethal danger would break out and they'd have to save someone or the club would have to be evacuated. But it didn't happen. She just stood there, completely motionless, until the song ended. Once the old song stopped and another fast one started again, Buffy sighed bemusedly and took the Blonde's hands again.  
  
"Tara, come on. Is it really that terrible?" Tara nodded, and explained that she couldn't keep a beat. Buffy laughed at loud at that. "Can't keep a beat?!" she asked, sounding disbelieving, "You kept a perfect beat when you played that song for me! Just this time do it with your feet instead of your voice." The Slayer pulled her forward so they were a little less than arms length apart, telling her to spread her legs a bit more, she showed her how to move.  
  
"Buffy, I don't think this is such a good idea." She warned, trying to figure out how Buffy got her body to move like that. "I'm not good at this kind of thing."  
  
"Sure you are. Dancing is just like walking to a rhythm, making your movements flow. I know you can do that, I've seen you," she said, dancing behind Tara and talking a bit more quietly into her ear, "Your movements are really fluid as it is, just do it to the music." Tara tried to follow what she was saying, but it was hard; she couldn't dance! She never could dance! She wasn't any good at it; it just wasn't her thing. Wasn't the end of the world, so why did it matter? {Because it matters to Buffy.} She rationalized to herself.  
  
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were doing this so you'd hope I'd give up and you could sit back down." The blonde chuckled lightly.  
  
"Is it working?" Tara joked back. Buffy just shook her head and gently grasped the Sorceress' hips, causing all of the taller girls movements to stop. She cupped the firm bones in her hands, and pressed her body lightly against Tara's back. Leaning forward and whispering in her ear, Buffy asked "Can you feel that?"  
  
"Yes." She didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling, but she could feel a lot. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, she could feel Buffy's curves pressed against her back, her hands at her sides, and her warm breath in her ear . . . and the slayer wanted to know if she could 'feel that'? "Yes, yes . . . I can feel it." Buffy chuckled deeply, and moved Tara's hips with her in a slow rhythm matching her own. It felt magical, and she was starting to wonder if it was. The way the fingers at her hips skated along her skin, the way this small woman seemed to have such a powerful hold on her body and her emotions; it was almost unreal.  
  
They swayed slowly to a fairly fast song, looking a little out of sync, but if you'd asked Willow or any of the other Scoobys, they would have told you they looked nothing if not graceful. Buffy was all smiles; Tara was starting to get the hang of it, and she finally found where Tara's dancing talents were hidden away. Tara, on the other hand, was breathless, trying to keep it at a steady pace so the woman with her arms around her wouldn't notice, as she tried to keep her feet moving to the beat from the speaker rather than the pounding rhythm in her chest.  
  
"Good Job Tara!" Dawn called happily as the song ended, her and her new friend dancing nearby. The Sorceress blushed, putting a hand over her red face. Willow congratulated her, saying that she could still barely dance, and even she didn't learn that quickly. Oz nodded, taciturn as ever, though the smile on his face gave it away; he was happy for her. Buffy on the other hand didn't say anything, simply let Tara go, though not letting her go too far. Her body was humming, and Tara's was too; she could tell. Something had happened, something had started, and whatever it was she wanted to see where it would end.  
  
"I th-think I n-n-need another drink." Tara said a bit hurriedly, walking quickly over to the Bar. As she stood and waited for the bartenders attention to fall on her, she watched as a girl who was noticeably under age order a beer and have it handed to her without question. {Doesn't seem too bad right now,} Tara thought, {I feel like one huge frayed nerve right now. Might be nice to calm down a bit}  
  
"Mind if I make a suggestion?" Buffy said, surprisingly close to her. Turing around she saw the small blond standing not two feet to her left, with a look on her face as though she knew what Tara had just been thinking. "Don't do it."  
  
"Don't do what?" Tara asked, feigning ignorance. Buffy shrugged, and leaned on the bar herself, obviously thirsty herself.  
  
"They charge you more if you're under age. That way they make more money. If you point it out to them, they'll ask for ID and they know a fake when they see one. So if I were you, I'd just go with a Soda and call it a night." Tara looked down at her shoes, feeling sort of sheepish. "Besides, it's pretty watery beer in most cases. Always ask for a bottle or a can if they have them." At that Tara looked up at her, eye-brow raised. Buffy's cheeks colored slightly, and she leaned her back to the flat-bed as she looked at the floor. "Look, just don't tell Dawn, okay? She'll spill to my mother faster than you can breath."  
  
"Secrets safe with me." Tara said quietly. The bar-keep asked Buffy what she wanted and she ordered a Sprite, tooling to Tara as if to say 'you still want that beer?'. "A Crush, please?" She said quietly. He reached under the bar and handed them their drinks. Buffy tapped her plastic cup against Tara's glass bottle, and they chuckled.  
  
"God Save The Hellmouth." She said, taking a deep drink. Tara smiled and sipped her soda, thankful that Buffy was so understanding about everything that had been going on tonight. She had meant what she'd said when the two Scoobys arrived at her door; she wasn't a drinker . . . but she was suddenly compelled to when Buffy had let go of her, and all of a sudden everyone was saying nice things to them. She couldn't explain why; it just was.  
  
Tara sat back down, deciding that maybe she'd had enough dancing for one night. {But you only danced for 2 songs!} she berated herself, sort of embarrassed. {Yeah, but it was enough to last me a while I think} Buffy waved to her from the floor where she was dancing with a boy, his arms wrapped all the way around her waist. Tara blushed and nodded, before letting her hair fall into her face to hide her red cheeks. A little while later, after a few song had started and finished and Tara had finished her drink, Willow came up to her, all smiles, with Oz walking behind.  
  
"Hey Tara!" Willow said happily, leaning on the table with her elbows, "It's getting sorta late so Buffy asked me to take Dawn home for her. You need a ride? Oz and I won't mind, we're headed back to campus as it is." Tara was just about to ask why Buffy wasn't coming hone with them, and why Willow and Oz were heading back to campus when Oz's apartment was on the way . . . when she looked out onto the dance floor and saw Buffy still dancing with the same guy, showing little intention in stopping. Her stomach suddenly felt like it was full of lead and her forehead felt cold. She nodded, and looked into her shoulder bag.  
  
"Alright, we'll go in a few minutes. Oz just has to talk to Sal about Friday." And Willow trotted off towards the lady's room. After checking to make sure she had her wallet and her Tara felt a pair of hands on her shoulder.  
  
"Not going home are you?" Buffy asked in her ear. Tara looked up and a smiling and bubbly Buffy. She felt far less eager to talk to her. she didn't think it was like Buffy to pick up guys at a bar, to have one night stands. {On come on MaClay! That was just your wishful thinking! You don't know her at all! Parker was spewing all kinds of dirty comments about her just a couple of weeks ago . . . besides; she's in college, she's a grown girl, there are her mistakes to make – Choices! I meant choices!}. Tara silenced her inner thoughts and just nodded, to which Buffy frowned.  
  
"What? You're leaving? Already?!" Buffy asked, sounding surprised. She shook her head, and grabbed the Sorceress' hand between her own. "Come on! I finally found where you're a really good dancer; just want to test out one more theory." She tugged the taller blond towards the dance floor, but Tara barely got more than out of her chair. Looking back at the Wicca, Buffy frowned, not understanding.  
  
"What about that boy?" Tara asked slowly, "The one you were with before?" Buffy blushed, and ran a hand through her slightly wavy hair. "Won't he mind?"  
  
"I don't think he will." Buffy started confidently. She stood next to Tara, not letting go of her hand, and pointed with her free arm to where the young man was now leaning against the bar talking up a severely drunk girl that looked like she was about to puke. "I learned too little – too late that what he wanted was more than just a good time and a dance partner at the Bronze . . ." Tara smiled slightly as she heard this, and the girl took off running for the bathroom; the young man chasing after her. "So? Will you at least dance with me just one more time?" The Slayer pulled out all the stops; puppy-eyes, that big pouty lip, wet and shiny from her lips gloss, and Tara folded like a towel.  
  
"Just the one?" She asked again, making sure. Buffy crossed her heart and nodded, pulling Tara to the dance area.  
  
"Just until Willow and Oz take you home." She said, not looking up. The song changed almost as soon as they reached the floor, and Tara recognized it the second the first notes started playing. Stopping her dancing and looking up towards the ceiling, as though expecting to see and explanation. As though something took control of her motor functions, she looked to the side, eyes not focused on anything and started walking off the dance floor. Buffy followed her and grabbed her wrist gently, trying to get the Sorceress' attention. Tara looked down at her, confused, where as Buffy looked back at her even more so.  
  
"It's a slow song." She said as thought hat explained something. Buffy's eyes widened and she nodded really slowly as if to say 'yes; one plus one *does* equal two'. Tara looked to the hand on her wrist then back at Buffy, her mouth suddenly dry as she forced the next sentence out of her mouth. "You know Buffy . . . not all couples are boy – girl . . . there are a few people here who know about me being . . . if they see me dancing with you," she took a moment to take another breath, no longer able to look at Buffy so she stared at the floor. "They might get the impression that you're more than . . . trying to teach me to dance." She added quickly. But when she heard Buffy giggle, her head shot up to look at the shorter girl.  
  
"Tara, I know that not all girls dance with boys . . ." she said reassuringly, taking Tara's other hand and walking her backwards back onto the dance floor again. "And you say people thinking we're a couple like it's a bad thing," She said laughing a little, "What? I'm not good enough for you, or are Slayers just not your type?" Tara gave a short laugh, looking down as she felt Buffy's arms wrap around her neck as the slow lyrics started to soothe over her nervous mine. Putting her hands a little stiffly on the other blonde's hips, she tried to concentrate on the words rather than the beautiful girl in her arms.  
  
"I can feel the magic floating in the air,  
Being with you gets me that way,  
I watch the sunlight dance across your face,  
And I have never been this swept away."  
  
As Tara and Buffy took their first awkward steps, the blonde smiled at each other, though Tara's was more nervous. She was not good at dancing, yet Buffy seemed convinced otherwise. And as her every thought tried to stay focused on not stepping on the shorter girls toes (instead of the arms looped around her neck) and the words to the song (instead of the tingle through her body at her fingers touching Buffy's exposed skin) she swished and swayed, and tried to act natural.  
  
"All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze,  
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms,  
The whole world just fades away,  
The only thing I hear;  
Is the beating of your heart,"  
  
"And I can feel you Breathe,  
It's washing over me,  
And suddenly I'm melting into you,  
Nothing left to prove,  
Baby all we need is just to be,"  
  
Tara tried not to look at the other people on the dance-floor. She knew they would all be same sex couples glaring at her and Buffy, that's the way it always was. She tried not to look at Buffy because the smile on the other girl's face made her think things that would only hurt her later; things that could never happen. But she could feel Buffy's breath on her neck and the trail of her eyes as the perused her body again as they had in her dorm, and it made it so hard not to look back.  
  
"Caught up in the touch,  
The slow and steady rush,  
Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?  
I can feel you breathe...  
Just Breathe!"  
  
"In a way I know my heart is waking up,  
As all the walls come tumbling down,  
Closer than I've ever felt before,  
And I know, and you know,  
There's no need for words right now,"  
  
Tara couldn't help herself, she was only human. She looked down into the soft hazel eyes of her dance partner and melted. They were so big, gentle, and innocent she wondered how they could have ever stayed that way seeing the things Buffy had seen in her short life. She wrapped her arms a little more around the smaller girl, pulling her closer, and she notice the way the Slayer wrapped her arms a little tighter around her neck as well. As their faces were pulled closer together, and she saw how near their lips could meet, her breath became short, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from that soft little mouth...  
  
"And I can feel you Breathe,  
It's washing over me,  
And suddenly I'm melting into you,  
Nothing left to prove,  
Baby all we need is just to be,"  
  
"Caught up in the touch,  
The slow and steady rush,  
Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?  
I can feel you breathe...  
Just Breathe!"  
  
She didn't know what it was; maybe it was the music, maybe it was magic, maybe it was temptation and teasing her with things she thought she'd never have; but it happened. Without thinking, without blinking, Tara leaned in and pressed her lips to Buffy's in a soft, yielding, and loving kiss. And as she watch the Slayer's eyes drift close, and felt the warm breath of her sigh from her nose, Tara fell into her kiss, dizzy with passion. Whatever had caused her to do it, she wanted it, and now that she had it she didn't want to let go. Pulling Buffy flush against her body, she kissed the smaller blonde with every element of her being.  
  
"Caught up in the touch,  
The slow and steady rush,  
Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?  
I can feel you breathe...  
  
"Just Breathe,  
I can feel the magic floating in the air,  
Being with you gets me that way..."  
  
As the song slowed, so did their kiss, both trying to draw out the last seconds of it, reluctant to let go even to breathe. As they pulled away from one another, and Tara watch Buffy's eyes open, she couldn't help the feel of panic that came with slamming back to reality.  
  
Looking past Buffy's shoulder, and seeing the assembled Scoobies staring she felt as though every speck of air had been sucked out of the room. Xander was bug-eyed, dropped jaw and all, while Willow was looking on with a hand over her moth, while Dawn was jumping up and down with her back to them, shaking Willow. Anya looked like she was trying to figure out what was going on and Oz just stood there with his normal non-committal look, though he did seem to be hiding some expression with his eyes.  
  
Not taking a second to look back at Buffy, Tara tore out of the Bronze as fast as her terrified legs would carry her...  
  
She also completely missed the smile on the Slayers face, but was saved the agony of watching it fall as she witnessed Tara's scared departure from the club. With one brief glance at the Scoobies, she ran after the startled blonde Sorceress, and out into the night.  
  
( To Be Continued . . . )  
  
~ VixenRaign ~  
  
WARNING! Un-Beta'd!!! 


	10. Scalding

Author's Note: I just wanted to apologize for the terrible delay, again it was a matter of inspiration, and considering the inspiration I believe it took just to get me here… let's not get in to it, shall we? Anyways – I know it's been a long (checks date)… Wow. Eight months? Really?! Whoa… I **suck**! Wow, okay, so if there's ANYONE left on the face of the planet that even remembers that this fic even existed – that is if you all haven't died off from old-age by now– I hope you like it. Thank you for waiting if you did. And if you're a new reader; be warned; I take **_forever_** to update. **_Vixen_**

**Ink Blots**, _Chapter Ten_;

( **Scorching** )

Tara ran. She ran and ran until she thought the air filling her lungs had frozen solid and burned like dry-ice. She was no athlete, but she knew she was going fast, probably faster than she had ever run before, because she had never been so scared before. She raced around every corner, little thoughts flitting through her head. _Night… Vampires… Near the Bronze… Not safe… Buffy said -_ but then she threw even more behind the hasty patter of her feet, energy she didn't have but forced out.

She turned corners so sharply and suddenly she almost toppled right over and fell a few times, smashing through groups of people as she went. Taking a second to realize, she was both shocked and not. She'd never run like this before in her life! Hell, even in the physical fitness exam for school she'd walked it and taken a poor grade because she knew she couldn't run.

And she still knew she couldn't. She was already exhausted to the point of nausea and dizziness. Her uneven and fast breathing had her hyperventilating – she was starting to feel the painful prickle of pins and needles in her cheeks. The bottoms of her feet hurt and her knees ached from the shocks of each hard stomp to the ground and the hard hammering of the organ beating in her chest.

She had no idea how far she'd ran; she had never counted, but she knew it was further than she'd even run before. She could run two blocks to catch a bus, or down a few halls to get to a class before they closed the doors, but this was… well. She was shocked that when her legs wobbled and went weak at just seeing Stevenson Hall in front of her that she could force them to keep her upright – and still running!

Blasting through a group of students and through the double-doors, she ran up the six flights of stairs and hastily jammed her key in the lock and collapsed right through it. Literally. As she slammed it shut behind her, she fell to her hands and knees to the floor, and felt her stomach clench and turn. She'd come so close to vomiting she felt the acidic taste in her throat, but instead she fell, face-first onto the ugly standard-issue orangey carpet and breathed and breathed.

God it hurt! All of it. Everything. Breathing, her lungs, the air in her lungs, the more she breathed the more it seemed to burn. Her muscles burned and felt like they were being replaced with woven strings of lead that would never allow her to move again. The floor beneath her cheek rumbled and shook from the people on her floor; people in the halls, in the next rooms, life outside of the painful shell she'd turned her body into.

Her body hurt so much, but she didn't care. She was thankful that it was so overwhelming. It helped to block out the incredibly **_stupid_** thing she'd just done back at the club. What little thoughts could get through the constant _Ow…Ow…Ow…_ were self-berating and grating at what little self-tolerance she had. She was happy to be so consumed in something so painful than the realization that Buffy and her Scoobie gang would definitely **_not_** be inviting her over for demon-fighting again anytime soon.

Suddenly a sound broke through her internal pain and physical exhaustion. She'd only caught the tail end of it, and slowly she realized it was the ringing of her dorm-phone. It must have rung a few times already, as when the next ring came, it was cut off at the end and replaced by her message-machine. To tired and aching to get up, and with no breath yet to talk, she simply laid with a cheek down to the floor and listened, hoping that it wasn't her father, or Willow asking Tara to return one of her spell books or some other badness she didn't need just then.

"'**H-Hi, th-this is Tara M-McClay.. L-Leave a m-m-message…'**… **_BEEP_**!" there was a pause, and she waited with what would have been baited breath, but she was still gasping on the floor like some land-bound fish, determined to learn how to breath out of water. Lifting her head the littlest bit she could, she was surprised that even those muscles were tired… oh well.

"_Tara_?" came a familiar, but more quiet voice. Regardless of her body's demand for more oxygen, Tara's breathing flat out stopped at hearing Buffy on her answering machine. She also couldn't help but notice that she sounded nervous. "_Tara? I know you're there… I followed you all the way back to the dorms when you ran out of the bronze… Look, I get the needing to run away thing – according to Dawn I'm the queen of dramatic exits, but I wanted to make sure you were alright…_"

She paused again, and suddenly Tara's breath came back even, but still slightly fast – now she was nervous. Sitting up she devoted an ear to what the blonde was saying.

"_Tara… I just… I needed to tell you that I'm sorry_." What little part was left of Tara's heart broke and tears she hadn't even noticed colleting fell from her eyes and hit the knees of her floral skirt. "_What happened tonight.._" she said, sounding hesitant, "_I didn't mean for that to happen. I had no idea anything was going to go that far and I just…_" she took a deep breath and sighed loudly and tiredly into the phone "_I'm sorry if I pushed it too far._" At that her head snapped to look at the machine so fast she might have strained her already tired neck.

"What?" Tara whispered into the emptiness of her room. She was utterly confused, where as Buffy it seemed was nervously laughing into her receiver.

"_You run really fast for a human, I'll give you that_." She joked tensely, "_I just wish you'd stayed around so I could explain – or maybe apologize. … Tara; I'm sorry if I just jumped on you, but I dunno… It's like, when I'm with you, like nothing else matters – like maybe you're on whatever small mental wave-length I'm tapped into_." She sighed anxiously but tried to explain, "_Tara, look, what I'm trying to say is_ – "

And the machine cut off.

"No!" Tara said, almost frightened, stumbling to the foot of her night-stand to give her answering machine a Brutus' stair as she internally panicked. Then there was a loud but hesitant knock at the door.

"Tara?" she called, the Slayer's voice drifting through the door. She was obviously trying not to wake then entire suit, it being as late as it was (even if it was a Saturday night). Tara sat, stock still, by the night-stand and gaping at the door.

"Tara? I was calling from the pay-phone in the hall… Your machine cut me off and… and, well… I want to talk to you." Tara didn't move.

"Look, Tara, I know it was wrong for me to put you in that situation. To… Be that close to you, to touch you like I was, but… I thought you liked me… I guess I should say I hoped you liked me – I can tell it wishful thinking what with the running away and all but… I dunno. There were a few times there when I felt like maybe you didn't just out-and-out hate me." Tara got up and walked to the door, her hand an inch from the knob. Buffy laughed in a sad, bitter kind of way.

"Granted not-hate doesn't exactly scream 'kiss me!' either, but… Tara I'm sorry I violated you like that… I just came here to apologize and to… I don't even know any more - - explain, maybe. So I'm sorry. That I took advantage of you, that I forced you into this freaky-demon-fighting inner-circle of Sunndale weirdos… That I abused whatever feelings you may have had for me… I dunno. Goodnight."

Taking in every word, and at the same time trying to figure out what had happened, and what she was going to do, it took Tara and extra second to grasp that goodbye meant Buffy was leaving. Flinging the door open, she looked up and down the halls. The blonde was gone.

"**WAIT**!" she called loudly, not caring who she woke or what she was going to say as long as the Slayer didn't leave thinking she was mad at her. Taking a quick step out into the hall, she saw that she'd caught Buffy as she was about to walk down the stairs. In fact, she'd only made it down a few before her sudden exclamation made the shorter girl attempted a too-sudden about face, and fall on the freshly waxed stairs. Grunting in pain as she fell, Tara rushed to her to help the girl up.

"I'm fine, I'm alright I just…" Buffy trailed off as the taller woman pulled her up by her elbows and inspected her. As she stood to her (limited) full height, their eyes caught for the first time since they kissed – in fact the very gesture that **lead** to their kissing, and a pointed but awkward silence followed as Buffy cleared her throat then suddenly grabbed her side.

"Are you alright?" Tara asked quickly. Buffy seethed a bit, a hand still pressed firmly at her ribs, and nodded. "You don't _look_ alright…"

"In my defense my Slayer reflexes are usually a lot better than that – you just surprised me," She said, prodding her side with apt fingers, signs of pain on her face, " - - besides; I think they just waxed the stairs." She finished lamely, but Tara couldn't help but smile.

"They were waxing them when I got out of my tutorial this afternoon."

"Who waxes stairs? At a college? That's just asking for trouble." The Slayer grumbled as she stopped poking her fresh injury. Tara nodded, wanting to laugh if she wasn't so nervous.

"Are you going to be alright?" Buffy grunted sourly but nodded.

"Yeah, just a couple of broken ribs." She said, obviously unhappy with it, but that it wasn't out-of-the-ordinary. Tara, on the other hand, wad not used to having people breaking their ribs around her.

"Come in side, let me get a look at you; see how bad it is?" she asked, as though it was a question, when they both knew it wasn't. Buffy had come here to talk to the taller girl, and when she'd almost left Tara had called her back. The broken ribs just seemed an excuse to make sure they couldn't run away… or get in to a fist-fight over whatever was going to be said.

"Yeah. Thanks." Buffy mumbled, awkwardly. Tara lead her into her dorm and had her sit on her bed while she took out her first-aid kit. It was a large white, plastic box, slightly yellowed with age, but almost as equipped as the one Giles kept.

"Impressive." Buffy commented. Tara smiled distractedly as she took out an instant ice-pack and popped the inner packet. "How long have you had it?"

"Oh, you know," Tara evaded, semi-casually, "Since I started Scoobying. Thought it might be good to have a few supplies. Buffy took in the aged plastic, but didn't argue. Tara noticed. "I bought it used." She defended, "Just renewed the supplies." Buffy just nodded, not even paying attention anymore.

She was looking fixedly at the slightly taller woman as she rummaged through the box for something in particular. Having found it in a small red tin, she turned back to find her eyes locked with Buffy's again. They looked at each-other again, and Buffy looked to her feet, inches from where Tara knelt in front of her on the floor.

"Tara, look, I know I've been a jerk, and I just wanted to come here and apologize, and tell you that… well, I know you don't socialize much – and I don't mean that as an insult! – but I just wanted you to know, you're always welcome with the Scoobies. At least… well – I'm pretty sure." She added, somewhat less confident, not every inspiring. Buffy must have seen it on the Sorceress' face, so she stumbled onwards.

"Well, you see, I don't think we've ever really had to deal with a situation like this before, you know? It's never really been… uh… _brought up_, you know? But I know those guys; this really shouldn't be an issue, you know?" Tara nodded, even though she wasn't sure she believed. Reaching out she lifted Buffy's right arm, and the girl grunted in pain. Tara quickly pressed the ice-pack to the injury and grimaced as the blonde tried to plow on.

"If they were that closed minded, I don't think they'd have given up all their free time and risked their lives endlessly to kill the undead… They just don't fit the profile…" Tara nodded, still not quite looking at Buffy, trying to figure out how to explain what was happening to Buffy. Then the slayer broke out into laughter, grunting in pain as she did, but it seemed to just make her laugh harder. The sigh alone Made Tara giggle – no matter how anxious she was.

"What?" Buffy had to take a deep breath to even answer.

"Did you see the look on Xander's face?" As soon as the words left her lips she started laughing twice as hard, but groaned even more. Same effect – she just kept laughing. Even Tara couldn't resist. Xander did look a little glazed about the eyes and drooly at the lips. "I think it's safe to say he wouldn't mind. Granted, I not sure his imagination needs any more fodder."

"Probably true." Tara said, calming first, "And here I would have though Anya would help stem the tide a bit." Buffy shook her head, finally done giggling.

"I think she may have made him worse." Tara smiled. But the tension was back as soon as they realized they were thankful it was gone.

"Tara," Buffy started out seriously, the room now silent except for the sound of Buffy adjusting her ice-pack one last time. "I know I've been a terrible person – I'm like the boy-scouts, but backwards." Tara looked at her confused. Buffy scrunched up her eyebrows and tried to explain.

"You know how some policies don't allow gay people to have certain jobs, or join certain clubs?" Tara nodded, "Well the excuse is always that they can't help themselves, that they'll start becoming attracted to all the straight people and they'll try and corrupt them. Like they can't help themselves. Well, okay – the idea is bullshit." Tara's eye widened, but Buffy kept going. "It's stupid to think that; it's not like gay women are attracted to **_all_** women, just they ones that peak their interest." Tara nodded, indicating for her to go on.

"Well, I just wanted to say… I'm sorry I assumed. I know you're no different than anyone else; you have a 'type' of person you like, they just happen to be women, and it was wrong of me to assume that - - well, you know - - that 'cause I'm a girl that you would like me. So… I'm sorry for the flirting, and the close-dancing and all the… anvils I've been dropping." She sighed deeply as she closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose and sounding pretty disgusted with herself. _She's cute when she's stressed… I'll have to remember that_.

"It was just that… there was something that grabbed me, from the first time I saw you since LA." She chuckled, burring her face in her hands, sounding as tired as Tara felt, "When you couldn't remember my name, you went for the first word that came to mind… which was 'Bitch'." Both girls laughed, and Buffy peeked between her fingers to look at the sorceress.

"I wanted to show you I wasn't the same, maybe to prove it to myself… but even when you swore that you forgave me, that you knew I'd changed, I still wanted to be better. Like I couldn't be good enough for you." She reached forward and pushed a stray bit of hair that had fallen loose during her run behind her ears. A move that had become almost expected between them, yet oddly intimate.

"No one's made me feel that way in a long time. I don't want to ignore it." The air around them became heavy, and Tara was shocked at how caught up she was in the poetic words of this usually rather detached woman.

"I could not be more sorry." She said shakily, so sinsere it stopped Tara cold. "I never meant to push myself on you like that, or make you feel like you had to act a certain way, or do something you didn't want. And, if you want… I'll go. I can wait for you to contact me, if ever. I promise." Tara smiled sadly, feeling bad for letting the girl ramble on this long without relieving her of some of her guilt. But as she opened her mouth to do so, the blonde interrupted.

"Look, I know you have a kind of person you're attracted to – you're probably like me – it's not even a hair color or a certain kind of music, for me it's not even a gender! It's just _People_…" That made Tara stop. _Did she just say what I think she said?_, "When I know them, I just know. And you're just one of those people. And I just… I just thought that… I dunno." She sighed and bent her head to look at the carpet, hidden by her hair. "I just hoped that if you knew me… maybe you'd like me too." She whispered.

_I could definitely love this girl._

"Buffy." Tara said solidly. Not a hint of a stutter. With a confidence and a security so strong even she was unable to remember what she sounded like with a stutter. She gently reached forward, and tilted the Slayer's head up with a few soft fingers at her chin. The smooth hazel eyes that looked at her scared and confused spoke volumes of her fear. Pushing the impossibly soft bottle-blond hair behind cute round ears for once, she smiled, and leaned in close.

"Buffy," she stated, looking fixedly at the eyes that flitted around her face, trying to take in every feature, memorize, and try and figure out what was going to happen next, to figure out how she would be falling asleep that night; in tears or in dreams. "If you know only one thing about me, you know that its that I'm shy…" She trailed off slowly. Buffy nodded slightly, her chin balanced on the fulcrum of Tara's steeple'd fingers. "And if I remember correctly…" She leaned in, allowing their noses to touch, their foreheads to connect, and their eyes to meet.

"I kissed you."

Leaning in, Tara took her first taste of Buffy's lips as a woman without fear.

( To Be Continued… )

**VixenRaign**


	11. Pleasant Surprises

(Author's Note: I know the last chapter was sort of short, so I felt the need to write a bit more for it, as my muse has been bugging me ever since I posted it. It only took this long 'cause I was working 45-hour-weeks for about two months in there, then I had to move and all kinds of other RL stuff. Hope I don't disappoint. Thanks for the 100th review, Jean, I'm kinda glad it was you.)

**Ink Blots**, _Chapter Eleven_;

( **_Pleasant Surprises_** )

_Oh Gods- I'm kissing Buffy!_ Tara's mind was racing and yet was totally blank. If she hadn't known that Buffy was hopeless at magic she would have thought she was under some kind of spell. Like warm, melted honey was seeping into her from the Slayer's kiss, every little bit of her was calmed and comforted. Save the ever-lingering worry of what would happen when Buffy found out she was a demon herself; the very creature she hunted…

"Mmm, Tara!" Buffy moaned, sounding surprised yet urgent and breathless, her hot breath washed over their faces and filled the room with the sound of their need. Buffy wrapped a hand into the long soft hair at Tara's neck, pulling her closer, whimpering into her mouth. _Am I doing this?_, Tara wondered, _Am I why she's acting like this?_… She wondered.

She had heard of people being instantly drawn together, of passion taking hold like some fast-breeding bacteria that took over the mind and made them sick with lust… but to her? And Buffy? It didn't make sense to Tara, that someone could have these feelings, these reactions, to kissing her, to knowing her… She knew herself too well to believe it… it was too good to be true.

Buffy wrapped her other arm low around Tara's waist and pulled her close, opening her legs so the taller woman could slip between them, to be against her. When the knees of said Slayer-legs gently squeezed about her middle, Tara was oddly reminded of the horse-back-riding lessons she'd had when she was a small child. Squeeze meant speed; you did that when you wanted to go faster. So did Tara, though she knew she shouldn't. But she wanted.

"Buffy - Maybe we should - "

"Yeah, yeah…" Buffy replied, cutting off her choppy sentence. But nothing happened, she just kept on kissing her, her tongue teasing endlessly, her hands tickling, her legs applying a strange, foreign, intimate grip. She could feel the heat of Buffy's inner-thighs through her pants and all she could think of how warm it would be a little further up…

"Oh god... Mmmmm!" Buffy mumbled and hummed as she pulled away to catch her breath, only to dive in once again once it was caught. Tara was light headed. This was crazy, this was illogical, this was incredible! Damn, this Slayer could kiss… She was in big trouble.

Pulling Tara flush against her, trying to get every last centimeter to touch, to tease, to rub, anything as long as it was more. Slowly, Tara felt Buffy leaning back, her hold on Tara taking the Sorceress with her. At first she though Buffy was fainting, perhaps the blow to her ribs had done more damage than she thought – that might explain the gasping and panting while they were kissing... that hadn't happened when she kissed her last girl-friend.

Before she knew it, Buffy was on her back, on Tara's bed, the taller woman crouched on top of her. She pulled away, staring down at the Slayer below her, and was shocked to see unbridled lust in her eyes. There was a long moment where the two just looked at each other, Tara not knowing what was to come or what to do, and Buffy (to the Sorceress' surprise) looking up at her affectionately, the finger's still woven into Tara's hair tickling her hair-line as she looked expectant.

After a few long seconds, Buffy sensed that something was off and pinched her eyes shut as she shook her head. Taking her hand from Tara's hip, she leaned up on an elbow and looked Tara right in the eyes, worried.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Why do you like me?" she whispered back, like a child asks a question in Sunday school. Buffy just chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Because this is as close as I'll ever get to Greece." _Huh?_. The Slayer must have recognized her confusion.

"They say the Aegean Sea is the most beautifully blue water anyone has ever laid eyes on. But I think I've come pretty close." She whispered as she drew her fingers slowly down Tara's cheek, looking pointedly into her eyes. Tara felt her self blush terribly and cleared her throat; ready to tell Buffy that she was a sweet liar, but a liar nonetheless.

"Buffy – "

"Tara." Buffy interrupted her, placing her fingers over the girl's lips, "I know that look on your face. Skip it. And just kiss me again." She smiled and removed her hand from the witch's lips as she felt that cute half-smile curl under them. Wrapping her arm around the girl's neck again, she pulled her in close, returning the smile as she felt those full lips against hers.

Being sure to keep her weight off of Buffy, she leaned down to kiss her, secretly enjoying when one of Buffy's knees rose up to grip her side. But when the knee **and** the hand tried to pull her down, she pulled back, not wanting to crush the girl. She was not wafer-thin girl like Buffy… she didn't want her to know what she was getting herself into - pound for pound.

They kept kissing, becoming more and more heated, and Buffy's limbs kept trying to temp her down, wanting to feel Tara on top of her. She resisted, and Tara was glad Buffy didn't cheat and use Slayer strength. She wouldn't have expected her to, but the thought had crossed her mind. She heard the Slayer groan in protest when another tug was denied, closely followed by her body arching up to meet her.

It was such a socking sexual movement, feeling the bowing muscle and soft curves pressed against her so fleetingly, it made her lose a bit of her balance and nearly let go for a second. Buffy must have felt the quaver in her arms because the smile on her lips was evident in her kiss. And just as she was consider letting her tired arms have a bit of a rest, the clicking of the door caused them to stop kissing just long enough to lock eyes with the door-knob.

The bright light from the halogen bulbs in the hall easily over-powered the one small night-table lamp in the dorm, making the interrupting individual seem more like a solid shadow rather than an innocent bystander. That, combined with their first response of "Uh!...", and continuing to stand there staring at them in that compromising position until reality hit them. They were short, had long hair, and Buffy would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Dawn?" Came Willows voice from further down the hall, "I just checked down stairs and they -" her voice cut off as she saw what dawn was looking at. Letting out a short squeak, Willow slammed the door shut and both blondes could hear her trotting the girl back down the hall. Buffy let out an exasperated giggle and tossed an arm over her eyes.

"Oh shit." She mumbled, still chuckling a little. Tara rolled to sit next to her.

"I-Is that b-b-bad?" she asked, more than just a little nervous. Buffy moved her arm and looked up at Tara a little surprised, not saying anything. Tara squirmed a little.

"No, no," she tried to calm her quickly, "I was just hoping I could break it to the Scoobes and Dawn a bit more gently... Not to mention my mother…" Tara nodded silently.

"Uhh.. 'Scuse me!" Came Willows voice through the door. "I don't want to uh… bother you – but, uh, O and I are going to call off the search party now… We're going to drive Dawnie home and then - Then!" she said pointedly (Buffy could almost **hear** the resolve face through the fux-wood barrier), "I'll meet you in the dorm, Buffy. Just… well… When you're done. … I'll be there." There was a long pause in which Tara felt extremely guilty for causing all this trouble over – seemingly – nothing. "Good night Tara!" She called finally, walking away. Buffy sat up.

"Hmmm, looks like I'm in trouble." Buffy mumbled, running a hand through her hair. Tara watched her sigh and saw how tired she was. She sighed and turned her head sharply to the side and a quiet crack could be heard coming from her neck.

"A-Are you uh-uh-okay?" Tara asked slowly, unable to help her stutter. Buffy nodded, grabbing her ribs as she got all the way up, the mask of calm on her face never breaking.

"Yeah, much better." She leaned down, placing her hands on either side of Tara's legs before kissing her lips quickly. "You're fast becoming my favorite nurse." She said with a wink. Tara wasn't sure how she'd done it, but in the half second it took to kiss her, the Slayer's voice had gone all deep and raspy and sexual again. Tara blushed.

"Th-thank you." She whispered. Buffy leaned in again and kissed her a bit more properly, allowing her lips to linger, caress, even tease a bit before pulling back. "I hope I didn't get you in to too much trouble?" she replied weakly. Buffy smiled and tried to tame a bit of Tara's hair where she'd mussed it in their embrace.

"You didn't." she replied solidly. "I think she's just a little upset I didn't tell her about you. Or, well, my feelings for you. She tends to have these reactions when I keep secret crushes from her." Tara nodded. Buffy smiled and kneels carefully in front of her, still holding her side. "Also, she's been trying to set me up with this guy… a T.A. of mine, but.." she made a face. Tara smiled.

"Really? You'd rather be with me than a… senior?" she sounded surprised, but Buffy just grinned.

"I've made it a point not to date people who grade my tests. I like to earn my poor grades, thank you very much." Tara smiled sadly at her, but couldn't hold it and ended up grinning anyways. "Besides, the guy she's trying to get me to take a chance on is from Iowa, and I think he grew up on a dairy farm… all he ever talks about is cheese!" Tara giggled.

"You don't like cheese?" she laughed. Buffy smiled goofily.

"I do, I like cheese I just don't want to be woo'd by it… Who knows, he might have some unhealthy fetish that leads to a terrible rash!" They both burst out laughing, making Tara infinitely calmer than before.

"But that does leave question yet to be answered," Buffy started, looking over Tara's features, "Where does that leave **us**?" she asked. The sorceress looked a bit bewildered, _I would have thought the kissing had cleared that up – I want to be with you, dammit!_.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" Buffy started casually, her expression changing, "Would you want this to be a casual thing, or an exclusive thing?" Tara had **no** idea how to respond to that one! "I mean, we have an obvious chemistry together, but…" she winced and looked back at Tara. _This is it,_ Tara thought, _I knew this was coming… she wants us to be casual because she doesn't want people to think she's gay… Why do I always get the self-hating BiSexuals?_,

"But what?" Tara asked, a little afraid of the answer.

"Well… are you sure you want in?" she asked hesitantly, "It's one thing to be a Scooby, it's another thing to date a Slayer." She said sadly. "The scooby's alone face risks even they are unaware of at times. It's one thing for the underworld to find out who I am and to come after me; I can handle myself, but you guys… they tend to like using you as bate to lure me out, make me weak. And this is the first time I've ever seriously dated a human… It's a huge risk, and I'm not even sure if I should let you take it." She sounded genuinely worried. Tara was touched.

"Hey," She said confidently, a feeling more than a little foreign to her, "Who's the only one who can throw a stake as good as you?" Buffy grinned, "I'm not helpless." She said, shocked that she believed it, "Not any more." Buffy nodded. "Besides, I'm only human on the out-side… You knew I wasn't from the moment you took my hand." Making a point to leave out the _oh yeah, and I'm a demon_ part too.

"But that isn't all," she went on, glad that they had covered the first issue, "There's also the fact that - well, in my line of duty - Slayers tend to get horribly injured. And Killed. In fact, the entire system relies on our dying, at some point. Usually very young. I'm one of the Oldest Slayers yet and I'm not even 19 yet." Tara didn't have a good answer for this one as a smooth, uncomfortable silence filled the small dim room.

"Bare in mind I also seem to be getting hurt walking down flights of stairs but…" Buffy jokes lamely. Tara gave a small smile and Buffy cleared her throat. "Look, all I'm saying is; figure out how attached you want to get. Because chances are this won't end well. I'm not saying I'll die before this ends, but I also have a bit of a temper… I tend to frighten the people I'm with how know that I'm… the worry about what I might do." A shiver went down Tara's back.

"Are you saying – "

"I don't know what I'm saying, I'm just saying it." She said so coldly, staring down at her own hands that Tara worried, not for her self but for Buffy. "I've never struck my lovers in anger, but I never want to get the chance either. Least of all you," she said, looking up pointedly. Tara felt like a deer caught in the hunter's lights. "Tara, you have nothing to be afraid of in me. Except that I think I could love you. And Love is always a mess." She said with a sad smile, running her fingers through the long blonde hair, pushing it back behind the witch's ears.

"Buffy, I've never been in an… open relationship. But if that's what you want, or would think is best then – "

"Say I'm yours, and I will be." She said solidly, smiling. "All you have to do to make it true is tell me." Tara grinned a little shyly and took Buffy's other hand where it lay on the bed.

"I do."

"You do what?" Buffy half joked. Tara blushed deeper and shook her head, almost too excited and shy to say it. Buffy let out a short growl, low in her throat. When Tara saw the expression on her face she nearly fainted… it was so… animal, possessive; sexual. It suddenly occurred to her just how aroused she was. _I'm wet…!_

"I, c-ugh – " she broke off to clear her throat of the deep scratchiness it'd gained, "I'd like to be your girlfriend." She finished quietly, sounding as though she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It didn't.

"Then consider me yours." She purred. Leaning forward again she kissed her, as though to seal the deal, as if to say **this is real**, and smiled as she pulled away again. "I'd better go, Willow's back and if I make her wait too long she'll just explode like a Howler on me." Tara chuckled as Buffy got up. She didn't let go of her hand.

"What now?" she asked, a little worried. Buffy shrugged.

"Now…" she thought for a second, "we go to our separate rooms, maybe do a little work, go to sleep exhausted, maybe we'll dream about making out again – I know I do, a lot – and then in the morning I'll call you and you'll come to brunch with Willow and me." She said as though explaining her class schedule, nothing more. "We'll disgust her with our cuteness, she'll be so jealous." Tara blushed again but nodded just the same.

"Okay." She whispered so quietly she could barely hear it.

"Okay then, good night." She kissed Tara's hand, let go, turned around and walked out. When the door shut quietly behind her, Tara was alone in her room again. It felt different; changed. Then she realized, maybe it hadn't changed at all; maybe she had. Maybe, she didn't like being alone anymore; now that she didn't have to be. Sighing she laid back against her familiar and slightly firm dorm mattress, wiping stray tears from her eyes.

When Buffy got back to her room, Willow had indeed returned, and instantly started jumping all over her with questions, babbling like she was 16 again, high on caffeine. But she didn't pay attention, for all the notice Buffy had given the redhead, she might as well have not been there at all.

The huge shit-eating grin on her face never faded as she swaggered slightly into her room, took off her coat to hang it up, and laid back against her pillows. She was happy. Genuinely. She couldn't remember the last time a person in her life made her feel that way. It was weird, almost like magic.

"HEY!" Willow yelled, realizing her questions hadn't gotten through the Tara-haze.

"Wha? What?" Buffy asked, snapping out of it, finally. Willow looked her over, seeing how distracted she was, how happy she was, and suddenly half her questions didn't need answers; she could tell. "I'm sorry Will, what did you ask me?" She asked, willing herself to pay attention. Willow hesitated.

"Nothing. Nothing important." Buffy looked confused. "B-but!...' she paused again, blushing a little,

"But what?"

"Well…. What's it like to kiss a girl?" Willow asked, hesitantly. Buffy nodded and blushed. But she couldn't help but smile.

"Much nicer than I thought," she said, grinning so wide it made it a little hard to talk, "which is saying a lot." Willow smiled and threw a pillow at her.

"Slut." Buffy pretended to take offence and threw it back. Giggling, it became an all-out war… But it didn't matter; the world could save its self tonight. At least they had each other. And tomorrow; they'd have breakfast.

( _To Be Continued …_ )

**-Vixen Raign-**


	12. A Simple Kiss

_Author's Note_: Sorry this took so long, things got in the way – college, old girlfriends, new ones, classes, teachers, family deaths and still living members, and police, to name a few things. But I have returned to writing it. Written between Friday July 8th 2005 – Thursday April 27th 2006.

"**Ink Blots**" Chapter 12;

**_A Simple Kiss…_**  
_Part One_:

Tara walked down the path to Stevenson clutching her books to her chest and smiling. She'd gotten out of her midterm Literature study-session review early, and she realized that though she felt far for ready to ace the test at least she wasn't as hopelessly lost as some people. Smiling as she walked into the dorm from the gleaming sunlight outside, she began trekking the stairs and thinking how luck she was.

The Scooby Gang had taken her and Buffy's kiss at the bronze surprisingly well. Brunch with Willow had been fun, a little nervous in all parties, but once they'd gotten past it the meal had been very much as Buffy had predicted; sickeningly cute. They had joked and laughed, and by the time they had all reconvened in the best friends' dorm all traces of discomfort has melted away. They'd even managed to make the redhead pout with missing her significant other on more than one occasion.

The next night, Buffy, Tara, Xander and Anya had gone on a double slay-date. At first, it consisted of Anya asking crass, inappropriately blunt questions while Buffy and Xander chastised her. But after a while, and once the vamps showed up, things calmed down a bit more. Tara even managed to stake a vamp that had managed to over-power Xander. After that her could finally look the blonde in the face without looking away, blushing, clearing his throat or making a joke. Much progresses. All of them were planning on seeing Oz and the Dingoes at the bronze that Friday; Buffy and Tara's first official date.

Other than that, Buffy had been to see Tara every night after Slaying, just to check in. At Tara's request; to make sure the little blonde had made it through the night's chore okay. It generally consisted of Tara looking her over for injuries, kissing her in relief at finding none… more kissing… flirting, more kissing, and then Buffy pulling back and wishing the taller woman good night; usually with a look of such pained longing that it stilled the Sorceress' breath to see it. One night without thinking it through rally, she'd asked the Slayer if she'd like to stay a while longer. Buffy had whimpered like a kicked puppy, and said that maybe it wasn't such a good idea - - they both had morning classes.

The memory brought a smile to Tara's face as she climbed the six flights of stairs to her dorm. The trip was so much easier when she had something else to preoccupy her mind. Taking a few breaths as she reached her landing, she started sifting through her bag for her key. When she placed into her lock, however, something attached to her door caught her eye. It was a page of notebook paper, folded in half, and taped to her door at about eye-level with something inside of it. Pulling it, she tipped it so the small object fell into the palm of her hand.

A round, silver, tear-drop shaped and chocolate-smelling surprise. A **_Kiss_**. Opening the note she read it with the Slayer's familiar voice narrating in her head:  
"_Tara:  
woke up this morning thinking of you and couldn't wait until tonight to see you. Though when I got here, you were gone, and I hope that later I will find you._"  
There was a small, simple drawing of the candy and more writing:  
"_A _**Kiss**_, to hold you over. Enjoy, & think of me. –Buffy_"

As she carried everything into her room, Tara grinned so broadly she thought her cheeks would hurt later. But she didn't care. Setting her books on her desk, she plopped down on her bed & reread the note a few times. When she felt she'd deconstructed it enough she turned to look at the simple token given to her.

Warmed by her palm in its thin foil wrapper, it sat proudly in her hand. Glancing at her clock and flitting through her memory banks, she smiled as she got up. Grabbing her keys and heading out the door, she savored the sweet chocolate flavor as she made her way over to the science building.

_Part Two_:

Tara waited out in the hallway adjacent to Prof. Maggie Walsh's Psychology lecture hall. Inside, most students sat taking notes, while some towards the back looked either near tears or nearly exhausted. Both Willow and Buffy sat in the front row, writing in their notebooks as they tried to keep up. Tara seemed to be the only one waiting for the lecture to be let out.

When she looked through the small windows in the doors again she saw that papers of some kind were being passed back and the lecture was about to be released. Maggie opened the doors as the blonde TA finished handing back the folios to the correct students. As Tara watched the shocked but happy smile crawl over Buffy's lips, she noticed her own mimic the action.

"Summers." Prof. Walsh called to the blonde. Buffy's head snapped up to attention and she looked nervous as the teacher approached her. Oz and Willow smiled as they approached. Oz walked on, explaining he had a teacher's meeting to get to as the girls stayed behind to talk until Buffy was released.

"Hey Tara I thought you had review sessions now?" the redhead asked, sounding surprised but glad to see her.

"I d-d-did." Se stammered slightly, "it was pretty short today; we created out s-study groups for the midterms and sp-split up to work in smaller groups." Willow nodded as the tall TA approached.

"Hey Tara – Buffy and I were planning on having an early lunch after this," Willow offered, "Would you care to join us?" Tara nodded vigorously. "Alright! I'll go and grab us a table." And trotted away excitedly books in hand as the Tara stayed behind.

Turning back to watch Buffy talk to the Professor it looked like she wasn't the only one. The Tall, blonde TA was also. The Slayer looked a little concerned as the teacher went on talking to her very seriously, which has Tara worried. _She was so happy a minute ago… I thought she got a good grade on the paper?..._ She glanced at the boy next to her, who had just been staring at her also, a questioning expression on his face.

"Are you here for Psych-101 next term?" he asked politely.

"E-Excuse me?" she asked, confused.

"Because if you are, there's a bit of a waiting list." He offered, trying to be helpful. "But I have a feeling lots of people are just trying to take it because they know it's a class where they can get by without saying a word as long as they have good papers and tests. If you're genuinely interested in Psych, I could probably move you up the list…?" Tara smiled nervously, but shook her head at his kind offer.

"N-No thanks." She said, slightly fidgety, "I'm not r-r-really a Psychology student. More of a H-History, L-Language and Lit focus." He nodded. "all that Fraud and I'm started hating myself." She tried to joke, lamely.

"Self-analyzing is an unavoidable part of the learning process; makes the digestion stage more personal I guess." He chuckled a bit. "So…" he started, a little confused, "Why are you here if you're not waiting for Maggie?" he held out his hand, suddenly, "I'm Riley, by the way." Tara took it and shook it gently.

"T-T-T-"

"Tara!" Buffy called excitedly, running towards her, the paper in her hand forgotten.

"B-Buffy – " she was cut off by the smaller blonde wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her, warm, soft, and lingering. Both pulled back smiling, leaning their foreheads together. The Slayer grinned and licked her lips.

"I g-got your note." She whispered.

"I can tell." Buffy giggled mischievously.

"Buffy?" Riley's voice broke in, obviously trying to get the girl's attention and stroke up a conversation.

"Oh! Hey Riley!" She replied cheerily, oblivious to his intent; thinking it was just a friendly greeting. Taking the witch's hand, she started leading her away from the lecture hall. "Come one beautiful," she grinned playfully, "let's go for a walk…"

"But don't you have to meet Willow for lunch?" Tara asked as she was led along at a jog.

"I think she'll forgive me." She said as they made it to the sunny outside. "But for now, I want you all to myself." Leaning up, she pressed her lips to Tara's and sighed happily. "Mmm… I should give you chocolate more often." Tara blushed at this.

"I don't know," Tara replied nervously, "I really don't think I need anymore sweets ' she said, looking down on herself with a frown on her face.

"Hey." Buffy said, almost sternly. Placing a finger on the taller woman's cheek she turned her face to look at her directly, expression serious. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, but it's my body," Tara answered, also half-kidding, "I think I know it better than you do."

"I dunno." Buffy replied with a wicked grin, "I've been studying it pretty hard… I might even have it memorized pretty soon." Tara blushed so hard at hearing this she could feel it warming from the tips of her ears down her neck under the color of her shirt over her chest. _Buffy is quite the flirt!_

"Buffy!" She tried to chastise but it came out in a breathy whisper. "Someone might hear you!" Buffy just laughed.

"yeah, heaven forbid; someone might agree and then you'd have to start believing me when I tell you you're beautiful." Tara just sighed, happy even though she'd lost this round of their verbal banter.

"Buffy…" she trailed off, trying to sound disappointed.

"Yeah…?" Buffy whispered back playfully as she leaned in to tickled her still blushing neck with the tip of her nose.

"Can I have another kiss?" she decided, giving up might come with better rewards. Buffy smiled. Leaning in, Tara pressed her lips to the Slayer's who kissed back with a sigh and a giggle. After a few quick, wet kisses, the shorted woman pulled back with a grin.

"I thought you meant _these_." She said reaching into her bag and pulling out an almost full bag of little silver chocolates. Tara laughed as Buffy handed them to her.

"Nah, yours are much sweeter." She replied. "Sorry Mr. Hershey, but Buffy Summers has the smoother **_Kiss_**…" Both girls laughed before Buffy wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck again and lead her off the small path, leaning against a tree. Tara looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

"Hey, come on," Buffy chided gently, "no one's looking, and if they were, I wouldn't blame them… pretty girl like you…" she trailed off and pulled Tara down for a deep and passionate kiss. The hold the Slayer had around the taller woman's shoulders and neck was so giving and soft, yet there was a kind of yearning to it that made it irresistible to let go. As the taller woman's hands moved from her girlfriends hips to her back, hugging her closer and enjoying the feeling of their every inch from knee to breast and lips a divine experience she's glad she didn't have to live without.

Long moments passed by, minutes speeding away as their exchange became more heated and sensual. Buffy's hand moved down her arm, and up her side, settling next to her breast, her thumb just tickling the under wire of the Sorceress' bra. Tara, for her part, had her hands in the smaller woman's back pockets, pulling her closer and enjoying every primal and needing whimper from her partner as she continued to feast on her mouth. Tara could have stayed like that forever and been perfectly content, but she could hear life going on around them and knew it wouldn't be possible.

Finally pulled away, Tara tried to catch her breath and even out her breathing a little. Buffy's face had such a self-satisfied naughty smirk on it Tara didn't know whether to laugh or blush. She decided on both.

"Maybe you should go and meet Willow, she must be wondering where you are by now." Tara offered, Buffy just shrugged.

"Eh… things are more appetizing here at the moment…" she whispered, her voice changing to that low, hot-and-smooth-as-bourbon tone that had come to melt witch, even in her dreams. Clearing her voice, Tara tried to shake it off.

"I should start getting ready for my next class," she started, trying to be sensible. "But we're still going to meet up later, right?" she checked. Buffy nodded.

"Damn right. Your first Dingoes night…" her grin turned innocent and sweet again, "… Our first date." Tara smiled, letting her hair fall in her face. It had the exact effect she'd hoped for. Buffy reached forward with gentle fingers and pushed the hair back behind her ears. Letting her fingers linger to tickle the shell of her ears, down slowly past her earlobe and down her neck and onto her shoulders. Tara shuddered and lost her breath once again. How could the Slayer make her react so much to so simple affections? _Must be magic…_

"What time should I be ready for you?" she asked, her voice a graveled whisper.

"About nine." Buffy smiled. Tara just grinned back at her.

"At least you and know each other a bit." She offered, hopefully.

"You and I seem to know each other _very well_; ever since you arrived in Sunnydale." Tara blushed; neither could explain how they'd been so good at reading the other, anticipating one another, but both were very aware of it and always had been. With a final lingering kiss, Buffy pulled completely away and walked back to the path.

Looking at her girlfriend still standing there under the tree, hair tousled and flushed, she wished she could go back and finish what she started but knew it would have to wait. With a grin and a wink, she trotted towards the dining hall and Willow, Tara watching her until she finally had to close her eyes and gather herself again.

_Don't even think that!_ She chastised herself, _You know you're no where near ready for that… even if you want it… and you know she wants it… god knows why she wants it but…_ She shook herself out of her guttural mental wavelength and picked her back up off the ground where she'd dropped it. Sighing, she made her way back to her dorm.

_I could think of a few things to do with this bag of chocolate that I bet both Buffy and I would enjoy… ugh! Stop it! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!..._

(**_To Be Continued…_**)

_**-VixenRaign-**_


	13. Firsts

(Author's Note: Again, sorry this took so long, but I'm working really hard, about 45 hours a week and trying to complete another fic of mine this summer (after four years of turmoil and dragging my feet) but **Ink Blots** is never far from my thoughts. So this chapter was written and typed up the moment I started to have a few free evenings. I hope you all like it. –VixR- )

June 15th – September 8thth 2006

**Ink Blots**: _Chapter Thirteen:  
**"Firsts"**_

Tara sat patiently on her bed reading **Our Mutual Friend** for her Lit class and waiting for Buffy. She had to admit, she was just as nervous as she had been at the start of their date, but now it was for a whole new reason; mostly the anticipation and fear of the unknown. Their date had gone pretty well, not counting this little pause in the middle.

Tara was used to exclusion: usually she was the one being excluded. So when she and Buffy approached The Bronze and saw the unimaginable line outside of it the Sorceress prepared for a flop. Buffy, however, walked right along side of the winding queue and smiled sweetly at the rather large man standing at the door.

"Hey Buffy." He greeted jovially, "Getting here a little late, aren't you? The band's about to go on." The Slayer just pulled the Blonde's arm a little more snugly in her own and blushed.

"Sorry, Anthony," she apologized "Had to pick up my date. It's her first 'Dingoes Night'." Anthony smiled then look up sadly from his clip-board.

"Does your date have a name? Because I only have you marked down for a single entrance pass…" he was genuinely remorseful and Tara felt her heart sink a little.

"Tara McClay – with two Cs." Buffy answered quickly. "It should be under Oz's guests, too." The man flipped his page and smiled, nodding and waving them in.

"See you later, Buffy, have fun." And in they went.

And if that wasn't enough, their usual table – or what she'd been told was their usual table – was free and waiting for them. Willow was ready and waiting with drinks and some strange, flower-like fried vegetable the blondes couldn't quite identify. Anya and Xander were dancing to the last of the pre-selected music while the bad put the finishing touches on their equipment and set-list.

It'd been fun sitting close to Buffy, talking quietly to each other during songs, holding hands between their laps and smiling at each other. Every time she caught a glimpse of the smug, flirtatious smile on the Slayer's face she thought of their very heated (and very public) display of affection earlier that afternoon. Blushing usually followed. At one point she knew she turned so red in the face Willow had asked her if she felt alright. Buffy just wrapped her arm around Tara's waist and let the grin grow.

She even enjoyed dancing. Particularly because most of it was slow. At one point they'd ever started kissing out on the dance floor, but it quickly ended when something collided with the back of the Slayer's head. It had been a peanut. Just as the guilt and fear started to rise in the Wicca's gut she saw the shorted blonde pull the offending nut from her hair and throw it at a chuckling Xander.

Things continued on fairly smoothly after that. But as the Dingoes started their last set Buffy got a disappointed look on her face. As she turned to Tara the Wicca knew she had something to tell her that she couldn't quite find the words for.

"I had a really great time tonight, Tara…" she started then trailed off. The past-tense of the sentence made the witch's mind race with all sorts of negative possibilities. "But there's something I have to do." She finished, her expression regretful. "The Dingoes are Sunnydale's most popular band, and the Vampires know that… So the mass Exodus from the Bronze at the end of the night can kind of be seen as the town's largest all-you-can-eat walking buffet…" Tara sighed in mild relief, having wondered how Slaying was going to be playing into their schedule.

"I've already talked to Xander; he and Anya are going to give you a ride back to campus on their way home and I can come say goodnight when the band heads back after their stuff's packed up." The Slayer grimaced and looked utterly apologetic. "I'm sorry, but this Duty has a price. I wish I could be normal, taking you out on a regular date, not have to interrupt our time with this… business." Tara laughed at this.

"It's fine Buffy, really. Besides – if this _was_ a normal date, with you taking me out, then I'd be a guy. Or you would be, I'm not sure who, but one of us would be in possession of a Y Chromosome. Normal is relative, and it doesn't matter to me Buffy. Besides, even if you were a 'Normal Girl', that would just make me the odd-one-out, being a Witch and all. Besides, judging from memory – I think I like you more now as the Slayer than I did when we were at Hemry." Buffy smiled appreciatively and shook her head.

"I get your point." The smaller girl said solemnly. The Sorceress shook her head.

"No, I don't think you do." She leaned close, her nose to the shorter woman's temple. "You will always be worth it to me." With that the Slayer pulled her close in a tight embrace and kissed her slowly, taking her time to enjoy every second she could before she knew she had to let go. When they finally pulled apart, a few joking cat-calls could be heard from the table.

Xander and Willow were teasing them, but for the first time that she could remember, Tara didn't care. She actually appreciated it and she realized it was because she felt comfortable, she trusted them; she had friends. Buffy smiled as she blushed and made several playful threats about where they could stick those comments before turning back to her girlfriend.

"I'll be sure to stop bye for the usual quick check-in." Buffy promised, holding Tara's elbows distractedly, obviously not wanting to let her go. "It might be kind of late, so I'll knock softly…" she trailed off, looking up at Tara. _Gods she really is beautiful… and she really does care about me… could she ever, possibly love me someday, d'ya think?_ Tara asked herself. She didn't know, but the way Buffy gazed up at her longingly made her think she might have a chance.

"You ready Tara?" Xander asked as he got up from the table, coat on and keys twirling around his finger. Tara looked one last time at Buffy and wished they could have a proper goodnight then, not have to wait. But perhaps that was better… less cat-calls.

"Yes, let's go. The sooner Xander and I get back to his hovel, the closer I am to having orgasms." Anya said brightly, holding out the Witch's coat for her. Tara frowned slightly, but accepted the jacket, pulling in on. With one last kiss, Tara said goodbye to her girlfriend until she returned from patrol.

Tara couldn't really remember much between then and when she next saw the Slayer. She knew what must have happened; Xander and Anya gave her an awkward ride home, probably full of inappropriate questions from the Ex-Demon about either her sex life or her sexuality, before finally letting herself into her down.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been back in her room, only that she'd only gotten two pages into her Dickens book because she kept running her eyes over the page as though it were artwork rather than text. She'd not changed out of her date clothes, but thought maybe that was appropriate. _After all, _she reminded herself,_ The date isn't over. She said she'd stop by to say goodnight. Therefore a change in wardrobe might be a bit premature._

She'd just given up on trying to do her reading for the night when a soft tapping came from her door. Glancing at the clock on her night table she saw it was nearly two in the morning. As she pulled it open she found a slightly surprised Buffy standing behind it.

"You're up." She said it like a question, though she obviously knew it to be true. The mild shock was a dead give-away. "You're not even ready for bed." Again, sounded like a question.

"You sound surprised." Tara chuckled. "You don't sound disappointed, but you do sound surprised." She whispered to the blonde out in the hall, trying not to wake the other residents. Standing back, she waved the Slayer in. Buffy didn't budge. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I should." Was her only reply.

"Just so we don't have to whisper or wake the rest of the hall." The smaller woman groaned and looked to the heavens pleadingly.

"That's exactly what I wanna do if I come inside." She mumbled, but the Witch understood her.

"Why would you want to wake everyone?" Tara asked, confused. The Slayer sighed.

"Tara… Every night, I stop by here to let you give me the once over. I kiss you good night, then go take a very _long_ shower, then go to bed -" Buffy started.

"Oh! I-I'm s-s-sorry." Tara apologized quickly, "You must be exhausted! By all means, go to bed. I –"

"That's the last thing I want to do after Slaying," Buffy interrupted, chuckling darkly to herself, "At least if I have to do it alone." She added slowly. Tara's eyes widened.

"Oh." It came out kind of breathy, Tara realized. So did the Slayer, it seemed, as she growled slightly until it tapered into a slightly desperate moan.

"Sorry." Buffy almost growled out, "Slaying has certain side-effects. Hunger cravings being one of them… and I'm not just talking about food." Both of them blushed. "Sorry" she whispered. The witch just nodded vaguely. _I guess now I know what she meant by wanting to wake the whole floor's occupants…_ she thought. Her knees shook.

"It's f-fine, Buffy… You can come in." She only half realized what she was saying and the many meanings it could have to her girlfriend. While a part of her brain **really** wanted Buffy to come in an equally large part was freaking out that she'd implied something so provocative aloud. The Slayer's eyes widened. She took a few small steps into the room before doing a quick about face and walking even further into the hall.

"No no no no no…" She mumbled quickly, pacing in place, "No no, not like this – not now." Tara moved to step out into the hall with her, pulling the door behind her.

"No!" Buffy yelled suddenly, before clamping a hand over her mouth. "Get back in there and keep the door open!" she stage-whispered. Tara was confused to say the least, but she complied.

Both girls, standing on either side of the open doorway stared at each other. They must have looked kind of silly, but they really didn't care. The very confusing and poignant, not to mention teasing conversation that had just taken place was having an odd effect on either blonde. Tara couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so anxious before… the good kind, anyway. Then, before either knew what they were doing, the Slayer had Tara by the lapels of her jacket and was kissing her more forcefully than she could ever remember the small woman kissing her before. Like she was possessed.

"Oh god," Buffy mumbled between hurried kisses, sliding the Sorceress' jacket off her shoulders, "This is a bad idea…"

"Why's that?" Tara asked as she felt the mattress brush the backs of her knees as she suddenly sat on it, taking Buffy with her. The Slayer groaned pleasurably, almost boarding on obscene as she situated herself on the other woman's lap.

"Because I've never done this after Slaying before," she forced out before sucking the taller woman's lower lip and then letting it go with a 'pop'. "Hell, never done this with a **woman** before, either…"

"And what, exactly, is '_this_'…?" Tara asked hesitantly as the smaller woman pulled off her own jacket and flung it… somewhere.

"No fucking clue." Buffy laughed, kissing her girlfriend deeply, "Just know I've never done it quite like this." She moaned as she gently pushed Tara down on the bed. _Oh God,_ Tara thought, even in her head the words sounding like a moan, _she wants to have sex with you!... She's **going** to have sex with you!_ Tara suddenly became unbelievably nervous.

"Buffy?" She asked breathily as the Slayer left a trail of kissing from her ear down to the V at the collar of her shirt, "I-I don't th-think I'm r-r-rready t-to –" Buffy chuckled and the rumble of it tickled Tara's skin as the smaller girl finally leaned back up to look at her.

"Neither am I." she assured, nodding behind her, "That's why I left the door open." She kissed Tara once on the chin before pulling away completely. Leaning back on her haunches, she stretched her back like a cat, twisting and shifting her shoulders. Her eyes closed, she ran a hand from her scalp at the back of her head, down her neck and over her collar-bones, down her chest, between her breasts and onto her stomach where her ribs split at the base of her chest. With one last roll of her hips, she finally seemed to settle herself again.

The vision of this above her, by this beautifully lithe woman straddling her waist, and on her bed, would have been enough; but combined with the little, happy groans coming from the Slayer's lips as she did it… Well no wonder Buffy looked so smug as her eyes opened. She knew what she was doing. Buffy's eyes widened a bit a few seconds later, almost as though she could read Tara's thoughts as was surprised by whatever lay within the Wicca's brain.

"Why Tara…" Buffy whispered, her voice deep and graveled, so sexual Tara held her breath. "Are you having second thoughts?" _Now I'm just confused…_ Tara thought, _not that she should expect my brain to be functioning on normal levels after a display like that!_

"Huh?" _Very eloquent Tara. Brava._

"You're aroused." It wasn't a question; she _knew_ it. "I can sense it in you…" she whispered into her ear, leaning back down, teasingly close but not touching, "And I can also sense you're not used to the feeling being this… potent." She licked the shell of the ear her breath was tickling, "But you're not ready. I can sense that most of all. So while your nervousness is only natural, I hope the fear you're feeling fades." She pulled back again, looking down at the blonde beneath her. "You body wants to, but your heat and mind aren't sure. So we'll wait until they all three agree." Tara looked away, feeling a little ashamed.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, not sure what else she could say.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, honey." Buffy assured her, her smile genuine. "I can wait; eagerly and with great anticipation, but never worry…" she turned the witch's face to look at her once again, "Never, ever worry about me, the wait or the extent of my want for you. Do you understand?" Tara nodded, feeling her eyes prickle with the beginnings of tears at just the possibility of it being true.

"I don't think you do." Buffy whispered, smiling sweetly down at her, "The satisfaction comes in earning it, so never worry about my limits when it comes to this because I have none. Something like this, when taken, has no value. But when given; priceless. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Tara whispered. She felt a drop of water leak out the corner of her eye and roll back into her hair. Tara laughed a little nervously as Buffy slowly got off the bed and tried to find where the hell she'd flung her coat jacket.

"H-Hey Buffy?" Tara asked hesitantly as the Slayer put her coat on and pulled her hair from the collar. "D-Do you… wanna sleep here tonight?" Buffy smiled, but shook her head.

"I-I mean, you know… J-Just to sleep. Not…" Tara waved one of her hands a little vaguely, not entirely sure what she could possibly be thinking. Buffy approached her where she sat on the bed still, looking at her seriously, but still smiling.

"Not tonight. Not yet." She pushed some of the Witch's hair behind her ears "But I would love to. Soon."

"Why not?" Tara asked quietly, not sure if she wanted to know really. The shorter girl just chuckled.

"because while I trust myself not to **take** what I so desperately want…" she grinned a bit devilishly at this, "I also don't want to torture myself with it either. Especially not tonight." Her voiced lowered impossibly more, "When you already smell good enough to eat…" Tara was sure every inch of her body had be tinged a rosy-pink at the comment.

"Oh goddess… Buffy!" Tara chided, mortified.

"What? Slayer-senses… particularly sight, hearing and smell…" The smaller woman's grin merely grew as she went on, "And I mean what I said." She reiterated. Tara covered her face, not sure what to do with herself. "And you think **I'm** a tease…" Buffy trailed off.

"Buffy!" Tara pleaded. The Slayer just pulled Tara's hands away from her face and grinned as the slightly red-faced woman newly exposed. "oh god…" her mumbled, humiliated.

"Nope. Just me. But I could see how it would be easy to get us confused." Buffy joked, kissing her then slowly, with care and such a pervasive sensuality that Tara could do little more than allow herself to be lead along.

"How about tomorrow?" Buffy asked, "I can talk to Giles, try and fill my Slaying quota during the day, get something to eat, hit the gym, shower, then meet you here at around… oh, say… ten o'clock tomorrow night?"

"Um hmm." Tara nodded, unsure if she could speak just at that moment. And judging by the octave her humming hit, she was glad she'd not tried to vocalize anything just then.

"Okay." Buffy said slowly, "I'll see you tomorrow at ten… You change your mind at any time, you just let me know, all right?"

"Yeah," Tara breathed, "Sounds perfect."

"Nervous?"

"A little… A lot… A lot of littles, I guess." Buffy laughed lightly at this.

"Well I live just down-stairs, so don't think twice about sending me back to my own room and my own bed, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. Buffy kissed her quickly.

"Goodnight, honey." She said as she got up, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," she stage-whispered. As she Slayer smiled at her and slipped out the door, closing it behind her. "… Darling."

While Tara had to admit that she'd never heard anything sweeter than Buffy's unconsciously calling her "Honey", "Darling" sounded to her like the most natural word to describe her girlfriend. Her sweet, Darling Buffy.

_Goddess, I love her…_ Tara realized as she felt warm tears run down her cheeks and a wide grin stop them in their track before they could slide down her chin. _If I don't love her already, I can't imagine what love could possibly be because…_ she trailed off, unable to fathom what it could possibly be like to feel **more** for this amazing woman. _Oh sweet Goddess, this is going to get ugly when she finds out about me…_

_**( To Be Continued… )**_

-Vixen Raign-


	14. Black & Blue, Me & You

_**Disclaimer**__: I do not own _**Under the Tuscan Sun**_ (okay, I do own a copy of it… and the audio book I bought in _iTunes_, but you know what I mean!) which was written by Frances Mayes and published by – my copy of it at least – _**Braodway Books**_ in New York. This book is one of my all-time favorites and I think perfectly fits the Buffy/Tara relationship in this story… You'll see what I mean if you keep reading. PS: I highly recommend the audio book, it's fantastic!_

March 31 – April 20, 2007

**Ink Blots** _Chapter 14_

"_**Black & Blue, Me & You**_",

_How did I get here?_ Tara asks herself, _How did this happen? Why did this happen?_

The hall lay in front of her, short and dark, yet somehow unconquerable. What waited at the far end, beyond the door - was literally the fodder of her nightmares, keeping her up nights, denying her sleep. The long shadows from the weak lights making her feel as though she were walking her last steps before a dungeon – one she might no have the choice to leave. Taking the round, brass knob in her hand, she sighed a shuddering breath, readying herself for what she could only imagine lay beyond the threshold.

She could feel the presence of many people behind her, waiting at the mouth of the hall, watching her enter the room alone, into the darkness beyond the door. What lay waiting for her was a sight she knew she would never be ready for, but hadn't anticipated how greatly it would affect her. Feeling her knees weaken at the vision ahead, she leaned in support against the door, effectively shutting it behind her. Her eyes stung as they hurried to tears, her stomach balling into fists making her feel ill, she shook her head – knowing her voice had abandoned her.

"Buffy?" She rasped into the dark. She saw the shadows shift and felt her breathing hiccup violently as she tried to breathe. _**How did this happen?**_

Tara had been nervous from almost the moment she woke up. As soon as she remembered what she had Buffy had agreed upon the night before, her staying over, she completely froze. There she stood, in the communal bathroom, the sink running, toothbrush in mid stroke, and her mind frozen like a computer trying to process a flawed line of code. Second thoughts? Hell yes! But the next one after that would go back to thinking that Buffy spending the night was a good idea. Well… maybe not a _good_ idea, but – not a bad one!... Back and forth, torn between crippling nervousness and happy anxiety.

She'd spent the entire day getting ready in way or another. She did all her schools work, around straightening her room, which was already pretty clean. She changed the sheets on her bed, and took her clothes down to the Stevenson basement to wash. After making herself some lunch from some of the odds and ends in her fridge, she went back down to change her things over to the dryers. Counting out the quarters in her hand as she blindly walked towards the door to the basement, she heard someone call to her.

"Tara!" _Okay… not just __**someone**__…_ "Tara, hey!" Buffy jogged over to her, slightly out of breath.

"Hey," She smiled, more shy than usual, and was thankful that Buffy didn't comment on it though she must have noticed.

"What're you doing?" she asked, hitching her bag a little higher on her shoulder. It was large-ish, an old military-issue duffle.

"Laundry." Tara shrugged. For some reason, it was incredibly hard to get even a single word out. _It might have something to do with the way she's dressed_, Tara admitted. The shorter of the two women was wearing black spandex shorts, a baby blue tank-top, and her hair was tied back in a ponytail, her golden curls bouncing gently, barely against her shoulders as she stood there.

"Need any help?" Buffy offered, smiling. Her grin had a distinct hint of knowingness, which calmed Tara a little. Nervousness over nervousness was just a vicious circle. Tara laughed under her breath; once again amazed that Buffy had read her so wordlessly and could so easily excuse her neuroses. "Six flights is a lot of stairs, especially with a whole load of laundry…" Buffy offered understandingly. _Buffy's been that a lot lately – Understanding?_ Tara pointed out to herself, and calmed yet some more.

"Thanks, but I'm just doing a change over. Got another hour left before The Long Hall…" She said, grinning jokingly. Buffy looked infinitely gladder to see it.

"Alright well…" She hitched the shoulder strap of her bag yet again and leaned in to give the Sorceress a lingering, closed-mouth kiss. "I actually have to run. Literally." She said, pulling back and indicating her outfit. "Giles wants to test my speed. Wants to see if I'm still in as good of shape as I was last year during… my Slayer Testing." There was a feeling of vagueness around that last part, but Buffy shook it off as Tara raised an eyebrow.

"But I wanted to ask you something!" Buffy added suddenly, dropping her bag on the ground. When she opened it, Tara held in the impulse to laugh. Inside were weapons, weapons, and more weapons. And a book apparently. Which Buffy held behind her back as she blushed, returning her focus to the woman in front of her. "Will you promise not to laugh at me?" she hazarded.

"Yes?"

"I kinda…" Buffy sighed and bowed her head a little. "I don't remember my life." She muttered quietly. "I've been spending my nights Slaying for so long… I kind of forgot what I'd do with them if I wasn't out prowling graveyards…" she laughed nervously, glancing away from Tara's face every few seconds. "I remembered, right when I was called in LA, my mother hosted her Book Club's meeting at our house. I came back from Slaying, after my curfew – and walked headfirst into her Book Club meeting, which had run late. She grounded me, said I was forbidden to leave the house unless for school or cheerleading." She held the book in front of her now, rolling it up almost like a newspaper, the soft-cover volume warn with use already.

"Willing to take any excuse for a night away from the freak show my life had become, I spent the night at home as per my mother's orders. A few women from the book club left their copies on our coffee table, we had, like, six different copies of the same book!..." She trailed off suddenly, her tone changing to something Tara hadn't heard before. "For lack of a better idea of how to spend my evening, I picked up one of the books someone left and started reading it." She finally released the tough grip she'd be subjecting her book to, holding it up to Tara. _**Under the Tuscan Sun**_.

"**Under the Tuscan Sun**?" Tara asked, reading the cover. "I'm not familiar with it." This made Buffy smile a little.

"It's about a woman deciding to buy an abandoned Villa in Italy…" suddenly she had a slightly conspiratory grin on her face. "The descriptions of the landscape and the people became… much better escapism than TV could ever be. Whenever Slaying gets to be more than I think I can handle… I'll read parts of it. And it makes me feel better. It's like a stress-reset-button." Suddenly the redness in Buffy's cheeks became noticeably more apparent. "I was thinking maybe, we could read it to each other?" She asked hesitantly. "I know you're a Literature major, and… I dunno. This book really reminds me of you. Or you remind me of it – either way! Thinking of one leads to thoughts of the other." She trailed off.

"Sure." Tara said quickly, intrigued by it already and by Buffy's attachment to it. "But may I ask – What made you think of this?" the color in her cheeks that had faded after she'd give the OK returned.

"Can I explain it later?" Buffy asked quietly.

"A hint?" Tara pleaded, not used to being the less shy of the pair but enjoying it somewhat, nonetheless.

"Okay… Partly? Your voice." She said solidly, after a deep breath to calm herself. "I wanted an excuse to hear your voice for an extended period of time. Ideally I would have found a way to get you to sing to me all night, but that would have been really one-sided." She was playful again.

"My voice?" she asked, disbelieving. The blonde nodded, stepping closer, into Tara's personal space. She glanced around them, and lowered her voice a little.

"Do you remember what I told you last night?" she almost whispered, "What I could sense stirring inside of you?" Tara shivered, feeling her hart pumping hard inside her chest, "That night you sang to me? At Giles' house?" she locked eyes with the Wicca and held her attention firmly. "Had the same effect on me." Tara gulped, and blushed when she realized that Buffy probably heard it.

"Your voice has the uncanny ability to arouse me, sexually or not." She grinned, "Combined with the material in this book? I cannot think of any better way to spend an evening… as Victorian as the prospect may sound." Tara closed her eyes and willed her thumping heart to calm. "And the rest I will have to explain at a later date. After you've read some of the book… if you still want to?" Tara nodded, finally opening her eyes.

"It sounds fine." She said, realizing too late that her voice was higher than it should have been. She held the book out.

"Do you mind if I give it to you now? Just so I don't risk leaving it at Giles' after I go Slaying." Tara took it, fingers gently fingering the cover as she read one of the reviews on the back.

"Sure. Sounds… good." She said, trying to regain herself.

"Tara?" Buffy said, laying a hand on her cheek. "I promise. Just reading. My hand to god." She said, chuckling as she actually raise a hand in front of herself in a kind of stationary wave, pulling her bag back over her shoulder. "You don't need me to stick around to remind you to breathe, do you?" she joked, smiling. Tara blushed.

"I could have used that advice once or twice earlier today, but… I think I'll be alright now." Buffy leaned in to kiss her again, deeper this time, slower and more drawn out.

"Glad to hear it." She whispered before pulling all the way back.

"See you later?" Tara checked.

"That's the plan." The smaller blonde's grin was almost ridiculously happy. "Have fun with laundry."

"Have fun with weapons." Tara shot back, laughing a little. Buffy waved as she walked backwards out of the building. As Tara changed her clothes over to the dryer and thumbed in the quarters, she had a few long moments of _Why is Buffy so happy with me? What the __**hell**__ is it that I'm doing that seems to captivate her? My voice isn't __**that**__ nice… I don't even know if I consider all that nice in the first place…_

She wasn't kidding herself - she knew that part of the reason she felt so flustered about Buffy actually being attracted to her was because she couldn't think of anything she was consciously doing to **attract** the Slayer… and because she couldn't see anything about herself as inherently attractive. Not that she minded Buffy liking her. But she'd liked people before, and they'd never shown even the slightest inclination back towards her… _I guess I'm just not used to it_, she surmised.

After finishing the last of her work, putting her books away, collecting her clothes – folding them, putting them away, etcetera – she realized the flaw in her plan. It was only six-o'clock. She had four hours before Buffy was supposed to show up and absolutely nothing left to do between then and now. So she decided she'd take a nap – in case she was too anxious to sleep later that night with someone else in her bed… especially since the _someone else_ was going to be Buffy. **The Slayer**.

Setting her clock so she would have an hour before she showed up, Tara pulled her throw blanket over herself and nodded off with little difficulty. She woke up on time, and spent almost forty minutes – on and off - debating with herself weather she should already be in her sleeping clothes before Buffy showed up before deciding on YES. That way she wouldn't have to change in front of her, or have to leave the room awkwardly to do so.

Nine Fifty. Nine Fifty-five, Fifty-nine, then Ten o-clock. Ten-o-one. Ten-Ten. Eleven-PM. When an hour past the agreed time came and went, Tara's nervousness had completely drained out of her. She'd been too nervous all day, she couldn't sustain it any longer. But she started looking at the clock what felt like twice as often – which was saying a lot, Tara thought. After the wait she'd felt all day, these hours seemed unnaturally long. But midnight passed and then One-AM, and Tara couldn't help feeling tears creep out of the corner of her eyes.

_She didn't show… Well, I hope you're happy, Tara, you got what you wanted – she's gone! You hated how nervous she made you – well now she's not here to make you nervous anymore. Poof! Wish granted!_ Her angry, bitter self muttered within the confines of her own brain. _But this isn't what I wanted…_ the rest of her countered,_ I wanted to be with her, I wanted her to like me, I just… didn't want to be so confused about the __**why**__ portion of it_. Tara wasn't a fool. She knew that if Buffy was going to show up at all, it would have happened before now. But still she soldered on, determined to stay awake in case Buffy showed – had some kind of explanation. She didn't make it to three-AM though. _Funny thing about being __**that**__ nervous for __**that**__ long… it's really, really tiring_.

The sound of her dorm-phone ringing woke her up. Slowly stumbling blindly towards the offending noise, Tara picked up the receiver as she rubbed her sleep-filled eyes. Holding the receiver to her ear, she croaked out a sleepy "Hello?"

"Uh, Tara?" It took her a minute to recognize the voice as belonging to Willow. With that came flooding back the memories of the night before and Buffy not showing up. Not just **showing up late**, not just **not calling**, but **not showing up at all **_**and**_** not calling**, and here she was getting mysterious calls from Buffy's best friend early in the morning?

"Willow?" Tara asked back into the phone, not knowing what she could possibly say to her right now, at this hour… glancing at the clock she saw it was now almost ten in the morning. _Okay, so not __**actually**__ all that early…_ Tara amended.

"Uhm, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but…" Willow sounded almost painfully uneasy. "Well, we're supposed to meet at Giles' at Ten." Tara blinked. "Could you just pass on the reminder?"

"What?"

"Buffy asked Xander to come pick us up so he could drive us, and well… I just – well if she's still asleep, she should get up. He's gonna be here in a few minutes."

"Willow, what're you talking about?" Tara asked slowly.

"What?" Willow asked back, "Did you not want Buffy to tell me she was staying over with you? She just didn't want me to worry when she didn't come home!" Willow insisted, "And to, you know, let me know I could have Oz over if I wanted because she was gonna be out – "

"Willow, Buffy's not here." Tara cut in quickly.

"Look, Tara, I'm sorry if my knowing makes you feel uncomfortable – I'll try to forget, I promise. And I didn't tell Xander or Oz, so you don't have to – "

"Willow, Buffy's not here!" Tara said a little louder. Willow was quiet for a second.

"In the shower?" she ventured, hesitantly.

"No." she responded quickly, "She didn't' come back to her room at all last night?"

"No, never, I was here all night."

"Is it possible she knocked, or… heard you in there with… and left?" she ventured, unable to control the worry in her voice.

"No, Oz was out of town with his band, recording new songs for their next tape." She sighed heavily, "Did she stop by your room at all last night?"

"No, not even to check in. I was up most of last night waiting for her to show but…" Tara trailed off, her heart hammering. This wasn't good. She heard something happening on the other end of the line.

"Xander just arrived." Willow warned her, and she could here them talking to one another away from the mouth piece. Xander sounded worried too. "We're going to drive over to Giles' now, find out if he's heard from her or seen her at all since yesterday," Willow said, all business, obviously ready to be on her way.

"Take me with you?" Tara pleaded quickly.

"You ready to go?" Willow asked, doubtful.

"I will be. Give me less than a minute." And she hung up. It was mildly impolite, but she didn't' care just then. Changing so fast she practically tore her pajamas off herself, she grabbed her coat and bag and was out the door and on Willow's floor before Xander and Willow reached the stairwell. Jogging out front to the young man's double-parked car, they quickly climbed in and shot over to the Watcher's house.

Bursting through the door without warning or a knock, the vision that greeted Tara was not one of comfort. Giles had been sleeping, sitting up at his desk, the large MediKit open next to him, wrappers for gauze and bandages strewn here and there, the contents of the box more empty than not. There was dried blood around and under his fingernails and in the creases of his knuckles. The three teenagers froze as Giles' tired head shot up. Frozen there in the entrance to the living room, they all silently stared at one another, unwilling to ask questions for fear of the answers. A Long moment passed.

"What happened?" Tara finally asked, her voice hollow and quiet. Giles threw a pair scissors into the MediKit angrily and slammed it shut, picking up the garbage littered around from the used bandages.

"More important than what happened is what **didn't** happen." He said, dropping the box on the counter to his kitchen. He intentionally kept his back to them. "She didn't die. Though that may have been sheer, dumb luck." He muttered. A collective sigh rang through all their minds, but not all worry left them. "She also refused to go to the Hospital." It was almost a growl. None of them could see the older man's face, but the tight fists he held on the counter revealed his anger. The three youths exchanged glances.

"She insisted that she didn't need it, she'd be fine to go back to the dormitories within a couple hours after a bit of rest." Giles answered their silent question. He obviously didn't believe her then, and felt vindicated now, as she had obviously not recovered so quickly. "I'll go let her know you're here. Then maybe you can convince her to seek help." He said, walking down the short hall to his guest room.

Willow, Xander and Tara all exchanged glances. The guilt within Tara piled so high she felt physically ill. There was a crash of some kind and they could make out a muffled argument from the guest room. A few moments later, Giles returned - looking just as annoyed and at the end of his rope.

"What happened?" Willow asked, her tone almost suspicious.

"She doesn't want to see you, she says." He ran a hand roughly through his hair. "She insists that she's fine, and that you all will just over-react to seeing her the way she is. So she wants you to just go home and she'll see you in a couple of hours." He was obviously parroting the words, and not happy about it. His eyes fell on Tara with a sort of angry desperation and the girl nearly fainted with panic. _He blames me for this too! They all know it's my fault she got hurt!_

"Tara, please, for the love of god go talk some sense into her, will you?" he pleaded. "She will listen to you," he insisted, "She needs medical care – beyond what I may provide!" he sounded guilt-ridden as well.

"What's wrong with her?" she asked. He sighed.

"I think internal bleeding, but she won't allow me to look. She keeps insisting that she's fine…" Tara felt so cold, suddenly. "I don't know how bad it is, or even how bad it was when she sustained it - and if her body isn't able to heal it on it's own, then the longer she doesn't receive care the more likely it is she could die." he ranted, obviously angry and scared. "Please Tara, just speak to her." For the second time in two days, the Sorceress could feel herself audibly gulp.

"W-Why me?" she asked, her voice a bit squeaky with nervousness. Giles simply looked at her over the rims of his glasses quietly, not saying a word. Tara blushed. "Right… N-No pressure." She mumbled. As she took small steps towards the entrance of the narrow hallway to the guest room, she felt overtaken with anxiety. Not the good kind this time. Her head filled with deathly images as she marched the line, of dungeons and torture and things from her childhood nightmares…

As she opened the door with shaking hands, the saw the lamp go out as soon as she'd cracked the door. The only light in the room came from the street out the window, peeking in through the slats of the blinds. Ribbons of weak yellow light striped the wall and the corner of an old, oak headboard. The lamplight wasn't strong enough to illuminate the room, only making some shadows blacker than the rest, but Tara could make out shapes.

She could see a figure on the bed, laid back and covered, a leg propped up on something under the sheets, the shape of the head out of sync with what she remembered the Slayer's head looking like. She saw the figure try to shrink down lower on the bed, to lay flatter, so as to move further away from the beams of light above her head. Tara's nerves got the better of her and she felt her knees go weak at what she knew must lay ahead of her. In an attempt to find support in the door, she'd slammed it shut behind her so she might lean on it.

"Buffy?" she asked into the dark. Her voice was raspy, she knew. Perhaps she didn't want to ask, because she didn't want an answer, she didn't want this to be real – to have actually have happened. _Why did this have to happen?_ She asked herself, yet again. She still received no reply, from god above nor from the figure on the bed. She tried to take a deep breath to collect herself but it hiccupped in her throat.

Steeling herself, she quickly made for the window, hoping to open the blinds a little for some light, and so she wouldn't be facing what she knew must lay on the bed. Her hand wrapped around the chord, breathing shallow through her open mouth, she counted down from three in her head. Before she could finish she heard it.

"Wait!" came suddenly, hesitantly. "Don't. Just – please don't?" the figure asked quickly, voice quiet. She sounded terrified. "Don't look at me." She whispered. Tara walked towards where she knew the bed must be in the dark. She sat stiffly on the edge of it.

"I could open the shades," she started, looking at the shadows that she knew made up the Slayer. She held out her hand in a way that she hoped looked resolute. She knew Buffy could see in the dark. "But I want you to give me back the bulb from the light."

"How did-?" Buffy asked, sounding surprised.

"If you're this determined for me not to see you, you wouldn't have made it so easy as to flip a switch." Whatever she said must have convinced the smaller woman of something, because a long moment later she felt the glass bauble pressed into her palm. Reaching out blindly, she felt for the light and slowly screwed in its bulb. As it flickered in to life Tara turned herself on the bed so she was facing away from the blonde.

"I told Giles to tell you to leave." The way she said it made Tara think that maybe she was reconsidering it now, though it had hardness – almost annoyed. "I heard him tell you."

"We aren't going to leave you just because you tell us to. Especially when you're hurt."

"I heard Giles ask you to talk me down."

"I'm here because I want to be." Tara said firmly. "I'm here because if you're in pain, I want to comfort you. If you're in danger, I want to save you. That second one is something I know I'm not going to get many chances at, you being the Slayer and me just being a low-level witch, so I'm taking this rare opportunity – and I agree with Giles." She cut off her own rant suddenly. "I think, you _**must**_ need Medical attention if you're so determined to keep us at arm's length."

"You're not stuttering." Buffy pointed out, tone so calm it sent shivers down Tara's spine.

"W-W-Well now that you've p-pointed it out…" She stammered knowingly. She expelled a short breath through her nose angrily. _I knew that would happen!_

"Thank you for respecting my wishes."

"I'm n-not." She was shocked to hear her voice sounding angry. She hardly ever felt angry, and could hardly remember the last time she'd let it show. "I'm just w-w-waiting to calm down en-enough before s-s-scaring myself again."

"Just try to keep in mind – bruises get darker as they heal."

"I know that." Tara muttered under her breath.

"I know," It was so quiet and pained, Tara almost turned to look at her, "I just don't like to think about it." A hand slips past the Wicca's elbow and over her forearm, trying to hold her hand. The knuckles are red and broken, and already Tara doesn't want to imagine the hell of a fight this must have been sustained during, but she's getting mental flashes and feels ill.

"Do you want to know what held me up?" Buffy asked quietly. Tara sighed. She did once, but now she doesn't want to think about it.

"Not especially." She answered, voice just as soft.

"I'll not repeat the details, they're not exactly heroic or entertaining… more chance and simple luck." She muttered bitterly.

"Why?"

"Do you want to know what happened?" Tara paused, _If for no other reason than to pass the time before I have to look at how badly she's been beaten_.

"Yes." She took the hand in hers, and held it as firmly as she thought kind considering it's injury.

"After I left you, I came here to train with Giles. He timed me running, how many push-ups I could do – things like that." She sighed at this. "It was still very light out then, and I went over to Willie's Pub to talk to him. Found the location of a few nests where Vamps have been hiding out during the day. Mausoleums in the older cemeteries with the windows boarded up, over-flow chambers in the sewers, a cave out by Breaker's Woods, all of them safe places for vampires to hide during the day.

"The only real hitch is," And Tara could half hear a smirk in her voice at this, "They become a prison if they're attacked in them – because they can't leave, the sunlight outside holds them there. Well, I had amazing luck at first, all the hideouts were exactly where Willie told me they'd be. Each had about three or four vampires in them, not too much of a challenge but quick, clean, and easy." Buffy cleared her throat and her voice changed a little.

"When I got to the over-flow chamber in the sewers, it didn't go over so well. Somehow, word must have gotten out that I was running a day-sift because I think half the vamps hiding in the Sunnydale Sewers were there waiting for me. They only had two in plain view to lure me into the alcove, then the rest blocked off all the exits." Her voice became raspy, scratched, and Tara knew she was still scared thinking about it.

"I still can't remember what happened. I don't know how I fended them off, how I got out of there in the state I was in, I just remember it being night, pulling myself out of a manhole, my whole body hurting and feeling broken, and limping the half-mile back to Giles' apartment." Tara leaned down and pressed the broken knuckles to her lips gently, gently soothing her fingers over them. "I know I took a serious hit to the back of the head, the bump is like a second nose it's so huge, but…"

"Buffy," Tara started, "You really need to see a doctor." She said solidly.

"I'm mostly healed already, Tara. It's just my leg and my hip, that's why I haven't gotten up. Giles thinks that my walking on them to get back to his place made them worse. But everything else is well on its way to mending – there's nothing doctors could do for me now that my body can't do for itself."

"At least to ease the pain," Tara tried to insist, not believing Buffy for a second. "Please?" Buffy just chuckled.

"Giles has plenty of drugs left over from his Watcher days, he just couldn't give them to me because of my head injury. I had a pretty serious concussion from that blow to the head." Tara looked down at the hand she wanted to hold tightly in hers, partly in her own support – and found it healed. The skin on the knuckles was restored, pink and clean. Buffy saw her notice and laughed.

"My favorite nurse."

"But Buffy," Tara turned around, forgetting for a moment what would lay in front of her when she did. "…Holy lord."

Buffy had a bandage wrapped around the crown of her head, partly holding on a pad of gauze over her right eye. She had a dark, blue and black bruise covering her chin and the left corner of her mouth. One of her cheekbones was swollen slightly and there were marks on her neck from someone trying to strangle her – Tara could make out the marks made from spaces between the fingers. The rest was covered, and she was partly thankful.

"Oh Buffy…" Tara trailed off, not knowing what to say. Buffy smiled a bit sheepishly.

"Hey - I'm okay." She insisted quietly, but honestly. "But, I could think of a few places you could kiss and make better," she joked playfully.

"But…" Tara wondered if she'd ever finish a sentence, _Maybe – when I figure out what I'm supposed to say here!_

"How can I reassure you?" she asked, frowning slightly. Tara noticed the bowl on the other side of the bed, a towel resting in reddish-brown water. "What's got you worried the most?" Buffy asked, trying to grab back her attention. She made a motion to indicate her face, trying to keep eye-contact with the taller blonde… This was only made more difficult by the fact that Buffy only had one eye uncovered right now.

"Your eye?" Tara said, not thinking very clearly. Buffy looked confused for a second, reaching up to touch the gauze-pad. She shook her head and sighed.

"It's not as bad as it looks." She insisted. Tara begged to differ – she could see where the blood had seeped through to stain the white cotton. "It's not actually my eye," Buffy clarified, "I got a couple of ugly-looking gashes over my eyebrow and Giles just didn't want to risk any kind of eye-infection or temporary blindness from getting blood in there…" _**rrrrrrrip!**_

Buffy grabbed the gauzed wrapped around her head like a sweatband and pulled – hard. It tore away and she balled it up in her hands before tossing in into the washbasin. Blinking a few times in the relative brightness of the dim room, the Slayer allowed her eye to focus before looking at her girlfriend.

"See?" it was true, the soft hazel eye looked the same as she remembered it. There were marks on the smaller woman's skin where the gauze had been, leaving tiny waffle-patterns and lines of overlap, but there was no denying that Slayer hadn't lied: those gashes _were_ ugly. They were long, narrow, and deep, running from the center of her scalp-line to end of her right eyebrow. Tara's eyes watered.

"Those are going to scar, Darling." Tara tried to warn. Buffy let out a bubbling laughter and wondered if perhaps Giles had slipped her some painkillers.

"They won't. Trust me, I don't scar so easily. Remember my side?"

"I haven't uhm… really looked. Since I removed the stitches, I mean." She said nervously. Buffy smirked.

"No, but you've certainly touched." Tara felt her face burn. "Trust me, you'd never know… unless you want to check for yourself?" she offered temptingly. Tara closed her eyes, _How can she be like this? Now? How is she doing this?_ "I don't think I've retained a single scar since I became the Slayer." She said thoughtfully.

"But what about your neck?" Tara asked before she could stop herself. She wasn't usually one to point out a person's flaws… or their lies. Buffy's hand flew up to her neck, covering the mark with a quiet _**snap!**_ Tara raised an eyebrow at this reflex. When Buffy blushed, it made Tara nervous.

"That's complicated." She muttered. Tara, hesitant as she was to ask about Buffy's Slaying, had never felt so curious about this part of her girlfriend's life. "Let's just say I don't scar unless there's a lesson in it." She said with such pain and an ere of finality that – combined with the smaller woman's appearance – forced Tara to drop it. It was only merciful.

"What's wrong with your leg?" Tara finally asked, letting a small pointed silence pass between them.

"Broken, probably." Buffy muttered. "Though I think it might be ankle and not my leg – tore some tendons, broke some ligaments for sure - like I hyper-extended the angle of my foot." She said, bending her wrist in demonstration.

"And your hip?"

"Dislocated." She said with ease. "At least it's the popular theory. I must have popped it back in place before walking back, but it sure hurt like I knocked it out of joint. I think I might have chipped the socket because it ached like nothing on my way back here."

"Buffy if there are shards of your hip bone floating around in your leg, you need to have them removed!" She insisted suddenly. Buffy sighed, and pulled back the covers. Tara watched completely frozen. Everything happening in front of her struck her as so unbelievable it felt more like she was watching it happen to someone else. On TV. In some language she didn't understand.

Buffy reached for the fastenings on her running shorts and untied them, pulling them down a fair bit along with her underwear. _Wow. That's a lot of naked… naked… uhh… that's just a lot of naked._ She thought as the Slayer also lifted the hem of her shirt. Tara shook her gaze away from the soft curves of the Slayer's obviously strong, obviously perfect _**very**_ lower abdominals, remembering that she was supposed to be looking at her hip.

"Maybe you're not as bothered by nakedness as I thought." Buffy said quietly, pointing out she'd seen where Tara's gaze initially landed. The skin on her face felt painfully hot with blush.

"Better you than me." _Oh Goddess! Did I just say that? Oh no…_

"Honey - I could say the same for you…" Buffy trailed off, biting the corner of her lower lip temptingly. Tara forced her gaze to return to the hip. It wasn't swollen and the bruise over the joint was purple and yellow, in the very final stages of healing. "You can touch it," Tara could hear her trying to keep her breathing even – it sounded too slow, forced. "It won't hurt anymore." Tara reached out.

Running the backs of her fingers over the bruise as lightly as possible, she could feel Buffy's skin tremble, the muscles trying not to jump at the light and what she assumed was a ticklish touch. She quickly abandoned that theory. Buffy let out a short, painfully shuddered breath, followed by a loud gasp. Quickly glancing up at her girlfriend's face she saw that the Slayer's eyes were fixed on her hand. She looked back down just in time to see those same lower – _Very, Very Lower!_ – abdominal muscled give a solid flex before relaxing once more. _...What a rush!..._

Tara could feel the tiny quakes in her fingers, and knew Buffy must have seen them as she was fixed on them, but (more confidently than she really was) laid her hand flat against the Slayer's belly. Her palm rest in the soft slope to the side of the blonde's slightly bruised hip, her fingertips just brushing against the top of a narrow hip bone. She could feel the muscles beneath it tremble like a hard heartbeat. Tara could feel herself almost hyperventilating, knowing it would have been silent were it not for Buffy's Slayer-hearing. The smaller woman let out a quiet noise, muffled by a bitten lower-lip and an obvious attempt to silence it. Then she did something she knew the Slayer would not be suspecting – She slid her hand up, and under her shirt.

"A-ha!" Tara said, almost angrily, pushing the smaller girl's clothes to the bottom of her breast to reveal her prize. Buffy groaned, and not in a good way. "I knew you were just trying to distract me." Buffy's mid-section was covered in dark, semi-circular spots of purple. Fist marks.

"They're healing!" Buffy insisted, trying to sit up more against the back of the bed. Tara reached out and slid her back down – though not much… even when injured Buffy was almost embarrassingly strong.

"And that?" she asked, pointing to a large, still slightly red portion just where the shirt once again re-appeared. Buffy part blushed, part smirked.

"That's a breast, Tara. You've got a lovely set of 'em, though it's nice to know you're curious about mine." Tara closed her eyes and shook her head. _Sweet Hera, this girl…_ she trailed off. "Care to… fully assess the damage?" she asked flirtatiously.

"No." Tara said solidly, finally looking at the blonde once again. She was pouting. "Buffy-"

"Tara, yes, I was hurt – badly, I'll admit! But that is just my body reincorporating the blood that pooled there. It's just taking longer because, well… It was a really nasty bruise."

"You need a doctor!" Tara insisted.

"I need you to trust me!" She short back, for the first time looking serious. It gave the Sorceress pause. "I know you're scared, I don't blame you – if it were you in this situation I would have hog-tied you to get you to a doctor if necessary." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Giles is trained as a watcher, but that's all he is. He isn't a doctor and he isn't a Slayer – I am." She shook her head suddenly, "Well, okay, I'm not a doctor - But I think I know better than anyone what the best course of treatment is for my own body!" she reached out and took Tara's hand in both of hers.

"Buffy, I'm sorry but…" she stammered, "I can't risk it. I can't just sit here and chance the fact that you may be slowly killing yourself!" Buffy's face fell. Her face became expressionless but hardened. As Buffy let go of her hand, she suddenly wondered if perhaps she had made the wrong decision.

"Then I won't expect you to stay." She said, voice hallow. Tara felt so suddenly cold. She folded her hands into her lap and stared down at them. A minute that felt like a thousand passed. "Tell Giles I'm leaving in an hour. But not to the hospital." She said, and Tara knew it was a dismissal. She raised herself to her feet and felt ashamed of the heavy slouch in her back and shoulders.

"Buffy, I…" _What, Tara?_ She asked herself, _You were bluffing? You only want to make sure she's safe? Want her to still be alive tomorrow? Sorry you don't have more faith in her? Say anything!_ She doesn't, but she stands with her hand on the knob for an awkwardly long moment.

"I'll see you when I see you." Buffy says quietly, caringly, and yet still dismissively. Tara feels her eyes water and walks back down the hallway. _I failed._

(_**To Be Continued…**_)

-_**VixenRaign**_-


	15. Reconstruction

May 24th – May 29th 2007

**Ink Blots** _Chapter Fifteen,_

"_**The Era of Reconstruction, Often Called 'Radical'…"**_

When Tara pulled open her door, she'd not expected the Slayer to be on the other side of it. She was so shocked by the vision of the shorter blonde, leaning casually against her door-frame, looking so painfully nonchalant, that for a moment or two she was so scared she felt like her lungs wouldn't let her take in air. The two of them had not spoken for almost a week. The Slayer's head was tilted downward, but she raised her eyes briefly to meet the Sorceress'.

"Mind if I come in?" she asked quietly, almost indifferently. Tara nodded and stood back. Buffy uncrossed her arms as she slowly passed the threshold.

"Look," she began, finally sounding _something_, her tone almost annoyed – Tara might have even gone so far as to call it exasperated. "The guys have been pressuring me to come by." She sighed, turning to look at Tara who was fidgeting with her hands nervously. "They know that you and I…" she trailed off and tried another rout. "They know you and I haven't really talked since what happened at Giles', but tomorrow night's the New Moon." She stood there waiting – for what, Tara was unsure.

"The New Moon?" Tara asked back, slowly.

"Yeah." Buffy stared at her for a second. "The Spell? From your grandmother's book?" Tara was very tempted to face-palm but was glad she didn't, she felt like a fool enough as it was. "We have all the ingredients together finally, and the moon is tomorrow night and," Buffy huffed again, sounding annoyed, not looking at Tara, "They keep talking about the ritual; what we'll need, when and where, and Willow and Giles keep saying that they can't do it without you. But when I tell them that you are I are… they just say they know, that's fine…" she looked back at Tara and bit the corner of her lip.

"You th-th-think they're b-being p-p-passive aggressive?" Tara guessed quietly. Buffy looked down at her shoes, but Tara could still just make out the barest smile. She glanced up, and the smile got a little larger. Chuckling she looked back down, dropping her hands from her hips and letting them fall by her sides.

"They must really like you." She muttered quietly. Tara blushed.

"M-m-maybe they, uhm," she started but then stopped herself. Buffy looked up. "Maybe they l-like how we are w-when we're, you know, t-together?" The smaller woman laughed once and ran a hand over her hair, which was currently pilled back into a severe ponytail.

"I stand by my statement." She reiterated, "There's more that's creepy than cute about a moon-eyed Slayer, mind you."

"M-Moon-eyed?" Tara asked quietly, "When were you ever m-moon-eyed?" Buffy chuckled again

"Any time your back was turned, I assure you." she said, almost darkly. After a long second of silence started to settle between them the taller woman felt like she couldn't hold something in any longer.

"I'm glad you're alright." Buffy nodded, but her expression went back to a kind of blankness.

"Walking and talking. Left Giles' an hour later, just like I said – traversed the gamut back to campus myself."

"I-I admit, I w-was a little sh-shocked to see you w-walking across campus the n-n-next day." Buffy nodded silently, her eyes looking at anything but Tara. "Do I s-s-sound pathetic if I admit that, th-that night?... I w-w-waited for you to stop by?" she asked quietly, hating that her eyes stung at admitting it. "I knew, you being stubborn as you are, you'd be back patrolling that night whether it was a g-good idea or not."

"Yeah, but you saw me the next day in the mailroom." That made Tara pause.

"I did." She remembered.

"So no worries."

"I've seen you every day since last week." Tara realized suddenly. Buffy nodded, looking at her again. "I didn't think you saw me." Buffy smiled slightly and shook her head.

"A Slayer can always tell when they're being watched, but that wasn't it." She took a step towards Tara, but just one. A very large distance still remained. "I knew you'd worry. That's just you're nature. So I made sure you saw me at least once, every day." She said very slowly, almost too carefully. "But I wasn't ready to… drop by." She said, somewhat awkwardly.

"And now?" Tara ventured.

"The pressure from the guys helped, the spell…" she trailed off, pulling at the cuff of her jacket. "And it suddenly occurred to me that if I let it go on any longer, we'd be fighting nearly as long as we'd been together – and I didn't want you thinking that we were broken up." She looked up, having spoken that last part very quickly. "I don't…" she trailed off, her voice cracking a little bit.

"You don't what?" Tara asked quietly, taking a few tiny steps closer to the smaller woman.

"I'm not used to this." She muttered, and the taller woman was fairly sure she was saying it to herself, "I don't usually-" again she froze.

"What?" Tara whispered, and Buffy chuckled darkly.

"I'm not used to people being accepting of the people I'm dating." She said, and then began to laugh. Tara smiled too, unable to hold in a small laugh. "Yeah. Says something about my usual fare, though probably more about you." She held out a hand, and Tara took it in her own gently, silently.

"The last person I was pretty seriously seeing… Xander had always hated him in particular. And after he started treating me not so good," she said the last part delicately, "And the way he treated Giles," she sighed, "They all just couldn't forgive him. Or me, I guess. For still loving him, or still loving the man he had been before he changed." Tara was a bit lost, not to mention shocked, but knew now was not the time to quibble. The Slayer intertwined their fingers absently, running her thumb over the back of the taller blonde's hand.

"And that thing I told you, that night we first kissed?" Buffy said, laughing a little, "About Willow not taking it so well when I keep secret crushes from her?" Tara nodded, "Well, same thing as with the guy, but this time it was a girl… Except the girl and I never actually dated or even _acknowledged_ the tension." Buffy sighed, "But instead of just treating me bad, trying to hurt me directly, she went right for my friends… used my loved ones to get to me. Willow in particular, as they'd always felt that the other was trying to keep me from them."

"They have every reason to like you," Buffy's voice was serious, but there was a smile on her lips, "You're sweet, and beautiful, and not only are you human – but you're humane. Gentle, kind, understanding and… I'm an ass." She grimaced. Tara was still trying to reign in the blush from all the compliments.

"It's just hard, Tara. I hate getting hurt, but I love having you there to take care of me. I wanted you to trust me though. And I was disappointed when I laid all my evidence on the table and you still seemed unwilling to listen." In an unexpected move, Buffy gently tugged on the hand in her own, bringing Tara as a whole closer to her. "So next time – will you give me the benefit of the doubt?" she asked, smiling sheepishly.

"N-Next time?" Tara asked, her tone worried, hesitant. Buffy's somewhat happy expression dropped.

"That'll hardly be the last injury I sustain. Or… Did you meet someone else?" Buffy asked quickly, her tone so _girly_ Tara was kind of shocked by it. _Granted, Buffy is __**very**__ feminine, but she's hardly one of the girls from __**Clueless**_, Tara thought to herself. "If you did, don't tell me; I'll be kicking myself until my knees permanently bend backwards… and I'm not known to take jealousy or rejection to well – it's a bad mix for me. I literally devolve, it's all very _**Clan of the Cave Bear**_ but without the hot sex. And lots of moping." Tara couldn't help laughing at this. Buffy smiled a bit in response.

"No." Tara said quietly, shaking her head as she stopped laughing. The other blonde's face fell. "No, I haven't met anyone new." Tara reiterated.

"Forgive me? For letting you dangle?" she asked, smiling sadly, "I was still kind of, I dunno… raw, I guess. I can't blame you for a thing you did, I would have done the same and I knew it then too. I just didn't want to come here and say something out of line and fuck up any chance I had at fixing what, to be honest, wasn't really all that broken." Tara raised a hand to Buffy's cheek and nodded, her smile kind of watery. "Sorry for the strong language." She muttered, leaning into the offered hand, "But there would have been a lot more of it if I'd screwed this up."

A sound escaped the smaller woman as she raised her hand to cover the one gently stroking her cheek. Somewhere between a contented sigh and a relaxed moan, the vibrating note lingered in the otherwise still room. "I missed you." Tara whispered as the Slayer's eyes slipped closed. She kissed the thumb closest to her lips and grinned.

"Thank god I'm not the only one." She chuckled shyly, eyes still closed. Her free arm reached out until it wrapped around Tara's hip, pulling her closer until their bodies connected.

"Buffy?" Tara asked softly.

"Yes?" Buffy opened her eyes, looking almost scared.

"Stay?" she asked, "T-T-To m-make up for l-lost time? Since you d-didn't get the chance before?" Buffy shook her head, smiling sadly.

"It wouldn't be right, Tara," she answered quietly, "We should ease back into this a little bit first. Besides, I've missed you and I don't wanna…" she trailed off blushing, "Be a jerk." She finished, somewhat bluntly.

"Jerk?"

"Cause I missed you." She said, as though it explained it. "And sleeping next to you, after a week of thinking about you would just–" she blushed an ever darker shade of red and Tara finally seemed to get it.

"_Oh._"

"Yeah," Buffy laughed bitterly, "That kind of jerk."

"Well at least stay for a little while?" she offered. Buffy opened her mouth to respond until she saw a book sitting open on Tara's night stand. Breaking out of their embrace, she walked over and picked it up, keeping her finger between the pages to mark the place. She grinned and Tara came up behind her, looking over her shoulder.

"You read it without me?" she asked, sounding playfully affronted. Tara groaned guiltily, burying her face in the back of the Slayer's neck as she blushed.

"Twice." She muttered, kissing the soft skin at the base of the other blonde's scalp. She couldn't resist. She'd missed kissing her, and it was the closest skin available. "This is my second reading."

"You're close to the end." Buffy pointed out. Tara nodded, nuzzling behind Buffy's ear. "Tara," she almost warned,

"What?" the slightly taller woman countered, laughing a little, "Did I spoil the surprise?" Buffy turned around in Tara's arms, now wrapped around her waist.

"No, no surprise; I wasn't talking about the book anymore." She leaned up on her toes and planted a solid, soulful kiss on the Wicca's lips. Leaning up as much as she could, evening them out, Buffy wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck. Tangling the fingers of one hand into the long, blonde hair of her partner, Buffy moaned into her mouth.

"I missed you." Tara said again, though this time almost as a whimper. Buffy just kissed her harder, pulling them together more, as she leaned down and before either of them knew it they were laying face-to-face across Tara's bed. Breaking apart briefly to catch their breaths, Tara kept her eyes closed, trying to calm herself. _Goddess – What has gotten into me!_ She berated herself _I don't see her for five days and then the first chance I get all I want to do is grope the poor girl!... What has this Slayer done to me?_ She wondered.

"Tara?" Buffy asked, her voice low and breathy. Tara wanted to moan again at hearing it. "Are you okay? Is this too much?" she asked. She knew the Slayer was still mere inches from her, her sweet breath on her face as she spoke. Leaning forward blindly, she was met with soft lips again. She shook her head, before changing their kiss. She planted soft, short kisses; her lips, her cupid's bow, her cheeks, her nose, her eyes, everywhere. Buffy just grinned widely, Tara could feel it under her lips.

Buffy slid an arm around Tara's waist between her and the mattress and laid her other hand at the taller woman's hip. Scooting her body closer the Slayer laughed contentedly as she kissed Tara's chin. Tara blushed and turned her face down towards the bed, trying to hide her somewhat sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry." The Wicca sighed, "I just… having you back? After a week, I…" Buffy just laughed again at this, kissing the woman's lower lip slowly, then her chin, then beneath, then slowly-slowly-slowly, kiss by kiss, down the Sorceress' neck. When an unchecked moan escaped Tara's throat, an answering one came from Buffy and Tara pulled back a bit, red as a tomato.

"Mmm, gorgeous." Buffy muttered, "I missed that." She sighed, her voice low as she'd ever heard it.

"Missed what?"

"Your voice, Ms. McClay." She said, grinning widely, "Audiophile, remember?"

"You're a hi-fi enthusiast?" Tara asked delicately. Buffy blushed as she shook her head.

"No I meant more… What turns me on." She almost whispered, looking directly at Tara's slightly parted lips, "A person could look like the elephant-man, but if they had the right voice-" Buffy trailed off into a pleasurable groan as her eyes slipped closed, "God they could talk me into anything." _How did she manage to make that sound so… dirty?_ Tara asked herself, _Well, maybe not 'dirty' but – certainly sexualized_.

"Your voice, Tara; no one has ever had the effect on me that you do, Honey." She said lovingly as her eyes opened once more. She smiled widely as her hand at the small of the Wicca's back began gently stroking at the base of her spine.

Tara smiled sheepishly, trying to invoke a playfulness into her tone to cover up her real seriousness. "I guess that explains why you're attracted to me… I mean, no one else has ever–"

"Tare," the Slayer cut in, almost sternly, "You say one thing to the effect you of not being just as physically attractive, I will… come up with some kind of non-physical punishment to try and re-program you." She finished a little haltingly. "But I'm serious, Tara. You are beautiful, timelessly and femininely, natural and soft…" she trailed off, nuzzling under the darker blonde's chin again before kissing the hallow of her throat. A quiet groan escaped the Slayer's mouth. "Mmm, and sweet… Such a sweet and clean smelling woman…" she seemed to mutter more to herself than her partner. Tara could feel herself blush deeply again under the slight smile on her face.

"A-are you trying to seduce me?" she pushed out, forcing a laugh to try and displace her nervousness. Buffy chuckled, but raised her head up so that she could look into her girlfriend's eyes.

"Yes. But just into seeing what I see when I look at you." She said, kissing the taller woman's full lips, to help prove her point. Tara couldn't help sighing sadly.

"And what could you possibly see?" she asked, not meaning to sound as honest as she did. Buffy licked her own lips and nodded.

"The Duchess Della Rovere." She answered, without hesitation. "The Venus of Urbino." Tara couldn't help the look of confusion that must have come over her features.

"Who?" Tara asked quietly. Buffy chuckled, pulling her arm from beneath Tara so she could lean up on her elbow.

"Have you ever taken an Art History class?" the Slayer asked slowly. Tara nodded.

"Yes, I'm taking one right now. Why?"

"Perfect," Buffy nodded once, "Then you shouldn't have too much trouble with what I'm about to ask you." Buffy swung her self back up to a sitting position as she walked towards the Wicca's desk. Sitting up a bit more shakily, Tara watched.

"I want you to find this." The smaller woman said, writing a note on a lime-green pad of Post-Its, "It's kind of iconic, and if there's single renaissance text that doesn't have a picture of it then it isn't worth reading in the first place." Pulling off the top page, she brought it back to the bed.

"Titian's _The Venus of Urbino_?" Tara asked, "This is a painting?"

"Yes." Buffy smiled, mysteriously, "And I want you to find it. I assume, being a well-versed Wicca, you can guess the significance of the title?"

"Venus, goddess of love?" Buffy merely nodded.

"When you find the picture, I want you to think of it in three contexts." The Slayer instructed, "First as a student of Art History, second as a woman, and third as a lesbian." She grinned a little wider. "Once you do that, come find me and we'll talk. Alright?" Tara nodded.

"When?" she asked, a bit quietly.

"Whenever. Tomorrow, Friday, two weeks from now – I'll leave it up to you." Buffy shrugged, still smiling. "But I'll be by tomorrow a little before sunset to pick you up to do the spell. Is that alright?" she ventured. Tara nodded.

Buffy leaned down to briefly kiss the woman sitting on her bed. But when she pulled back, she thought better of it, and leaned back in, taking her time and savoring it, letting her tongue explore the mouth attached to hers as she tried not to grin. It made the enjoyable kissing needlessly harder. When she pulled away she whispered into the sorceress' ear.

"You'll see you soon." And with that she turned on her heal and walked out the door, throwing a wink at the witch as she went. Tara shivered, her skin flushed.

_Holy Hera_, Tara thought, _that girl is like a whirlwind!_ Staring at the small piece of brightly colored paper between her fingers, she glanced at the clock. Then realized she should get to bed. She'd need to gather her energy for the spell tomorrow, not to mention go over the finer points written down within the spell book so that she would be fully prepared… and with any luck, she might have a spare hour or so to nip into the History Reference Annex so she could find a copy of this painting.

(_**To Be Continued…**_)

-VixenRaign-


	16. Playfulness

**Ink Blots**_Chapter Sixteen:_

"_**Playfulness"**_

As Tara held the receiver to her ear, she became unexpectedly nervous. She knew all the people who could possibly pick up on the other end, or at least she was pretty sure she did, but the thought of possibly having to talk to a stranger? On the phone? And to not know whom it might be on the other end until they picked up? That was a nerve-wracking ten seconds or so. Tara had always hated the phone. But it was best in some cases.

"Hello?" _oh, thank god!_ Tara thought, _It's Buffy._

"H-Hey. Buffy?" She stammered a bit.

"Tara." _I swear I can hear her smiling…_ "What's up?"

"I w-was just wondering…" she trailed off. She knew exactly what she'd called to ask, but for some reason – suddenly – all the ways she could think to phrase it, after hearing Buffy's voice, suddenly sounded like an innuendo. The pause dragged on. "Uh-hmmm…" she cleared her throat, but still no actual words followed. _Uh oh. What am I supposed to do now?_

"I'll be up in a second." _**Click**_.

"Oh no." Tara muttered into what she knew must now be a dead line. _Well McClay – there you go. Now you're just going to look like an absolute fool…__** - - Knock Knock!**_ Tara let the Slayer in.

"Hey." Buffy smiled, kissing her girlfriend briefly in the doorway almost as soon as there was enough room to do so. "What's the what?" she asked grinning. Tara blushed. "Uh oh, it can't be that bad." Buffy teased, lacing the finger on her right hand with Tara's left as she leaned against the door-jam. Tara shook her hair in front of her face as she bit her lip.

"I feel so silly…" the taller woman muttered. Buffy pushed her long, blonde hair back behind her ears as she looked up into her girlfriend's pink face. "I'm just not great at talking on the phone." She mumbled.

"Well I'm here now – just spit it out." Buffy laughed, still playing with the witch's hair, curling the fingers of her free hand around tendrils she'd created.

"Last night; you said you'd be by just before sunset…" she began, almost whispering, liking the way Buffy didn't seem to mind that at any moment a student could walk into the hall and see them like this. She really admired that at times. "But that's a pretty vague time-frame, especially since I don't know what you meant by sunset." Buffy laughed as she nodded sheepishly.

"You have a point." She pulled herself up to standing and nodded her chin towards Tara's room behind them. Tara waved her inside and closed the door. "The spell has to be done during twilight, right?"

"Yes," Tara answered, leaning back nervously against her small door. "After the sun's gone down but it's still a little light out. Before the moon and stars become the only natural sources of light." Buffy nodded slowly.

"According to the 'Vampire' clock, that's in about an hour and a half," she began, but –

"Vampire clock?"

"When a Vampire can go out without having the fear direct sunlight. Like, say, if you're in a valley, and the sun's already behind the mountains? That's indirect light, so it's safe. Well, safe as hiding in the shade I suppose." She took a few short steps forward, smiling, entering Tara's personal space once again. Tara found she didn't mind at all. "When the sky's orange and red, and the warmth of the day is slowly released… when the fireflies come out, I guess." She grinned.

"So… I guess that means we have some time…" Buffy raised an eyebrow at this, her grin turning into a bit of a smirk. Tara blushed a little harder.

"I guess we do." The Slayer's voice had deepened, her hand snaking round the taller girl's neck. Tara felt herself tremble a little as the Blonde before her stretched up to leave a toe-curling kiss on her lips. She'd not planned this, really, but she could see how it might look that way. Thinking back, she felt a little foolish; she should have seen this result. Next time she'd know. And she'd do it again.

There was a moment, during the slow kiss, where Tara's breath hitched. Buffy's mouth was kissing her hungrily but carefully, as though enjoying the complexity of some fine and savory desert. Something indulgent, decadent, and heady, warm and satisfying… But what made her breathing pause was that Buffy pretty much had her pressed back against the door. Contrary to the way she'd felt many other times she'd been in similar situations during her life, she didn't feel trapped. The fact caught her off-guard. Buffy pulled back a bit.

"Is this okay?" she asked quietly. Tara smiled nervously, but nodded. "We don't have to do this is you don't want to." Buffy offered, pulling back still more.

"Buffy," Tara began, not believing what was about to come out of her mouth, "I want." She stated simply, curling her arm low around the smaller woman's waist, hoping it would help prove her point, "I hope, through whatever nervousness you may be sensing, that my wanting you is just as clear." Buffy glanced away, averting her eyes, her expression becoming unreadable; Tara had no context for that expression. "Whatever my body may tell you, Buffy, I hope you will trust what my voice is saying and that you'll listen."

"But Tara –"

"_But_ listen," Tara interrupted quietly, smiling sadly, "I'd never really been kissed before I kissed you, Buffy. I'd never danced, held-hands, been called a 'girlfriend' by any one in any context." The Wicca knew the Slayer was listening intently, her gaze serious, though her anxiousness was apparent. "That makes everything we do new to me… Any newness can be scary sometimes. And just as scary, if not more so for me, is the power of all this – of wanting it… wanting you." She finished quietly, shyly, "I know that's not going to change. So I want you to trust me, my voice, when I say everything is all right. Because I know it will be, because I trust you."

"Tare," her voice had become graveled. _She sounds more like she might cry than… well, what usually brings out that tone…_ "I don't think I can do that." The smaller woman took in a slow breath as she leaned her forehead against Tara's shoulder. "With my strength… how can I know that what you're saying isn't out of fear or feelings of intimidation? How am I supposed to trust what your voice is saying when your body is screaming the opposite?"

"Is it screaming at you now?" Tara asked honestly. "Is it saying _I hope she stops kissing me_ rather than…" she didn't think she could put words to what she was feeling. She felt exposed enough as it was. She cleared her throat quietly; her internal dialogue of how to finish that sentence shocking her a bit, even. Buffy chuckled.

"No, not at the moment. But a minute ago? I certainly got the sense that I should ask." She said delicately.

"We have to trust each other." She whispered, kissing the shorter woman's hair gently. "It will have to be both of us. You will have to trust that what I tell you is true, because I already trust you with my body, Buffy. You've had many chances already to do what you fear you might one day accidentally do, but you've been nothing but patient with me. You've told me you'll wait, and I believe it by what I've seen. Just because I was hesitant about something earlier that made us stop doesn't mean we can't ever approach that line again."

"Then we need a safety word," Buffy said resolutely. "Something that means – emergency break! Hands where I can see them!" Tara just chuckled.

"I think _Stop_ is perfect." Something told her that they probably would never find themselves in a situation where they couldn't just say 'Stop' and would something more obvious and unusual like 'Schenectady' or 'Murgitroid'. She could feel Buffy smile against her at this. It was small, but she could tell by the way the muscles in the woman's back eased that it was genuine.

"Me too." She began running a hand over Tara's stomach slowly, where her peasant blouse's tails split, the bottom button undone. The Slayer practically purred at the feel of the Sorceress' naked belly under her fingertips. Tara shivered.

"Buffy, m-maybe you sh-shouldn't-" she began. _This is a new experience_, she thought; her stutter caused by a **combination** of nervousness and pleasurable-anxiety.

"Is this a _Stop_ moment, or yet another fruitless opportunity for you to try and convince me that you're unattractive? Because I have to tell you, all that convinces me of is that you're myopic and have BDD." She asked, grinning playfully, her hand still between the folds of Tara's shirt, caressing her tummy in a slow, smooth rhythm. _Goddess it feels good… I've never felt so at odds! I feel like I'm being lulled into some kind of trance, but I have to say - Ten-fold growth on the pleasant-anxiousness_.

Buffy kissed Tara's neck and collarbone, humming pleasurably as her hand's slow, careful circles continued. Leaning her head back against the door, the witch sub-consciously gave the Slayer greater access to her throat. She was greatly rewarded. A moan soon escaped from the vocal-chords beneath the many kisses.

"Honey?" Buffy asked, for the first time Tara realized that the Slayer's breathing was almost as quick as her own, "Not to sound selfish but, the walls in these dorms are embarrassingly thin." Tara's body suddenly went rigid, her eyes snapping open. "And I hope that shows how much I care about you, because… well, you know how I am about the sound of your voice." Her hand paused, Tara's belly-button directly under her palm. Buffy looked sadly up at her flushed face.

"How loud was I?" Tara asked, worried. Without a word, _**Loud**_ came through clear as a bell. It might have been the way the Slayer's eyes became noticeably dilated, but the taller woman couldn't say for sure. She felt the next button give way as the smirk on the other blonde's face grew. "Buffy – you just said!" she was cut off with a kiss.

"That you might want to try and be conscious of your volume… I didn't say we had to _stop_." She answered playfully. Those dangerous fingers against her skin delved as high as the split in her rib-cage before heading back down. The circles it made became larger, but also slower. Tara's knees shook.

"Oh Goddess!" she whispered, her toes actually curing in her shoes. She could hear Buffy laughing lightly somewhere in her sightless consciousness. She could feel the muscles in her stomach quaking they'd become so tense…

"Shhh, save the magic Giles' in a bit." She murmured, kissing the woman's lips slowly once more, "The only goddess whose company I want to you enjoy is you."

When Willow came knocking a few minutes later to see where Buffy had gone, their red faces gave away all she needed to know. Grabbing their things, the girls began their walk to Giles' apartment together, the two blondes holding hands. Later, once the spell was completed, Tara was a bit wiped so Buffy offered to walk her home.

"Most of the Commando sightings have been on campus anyways, so…" she shrugged, the fact that she'd only had eyes for Tara the entire night not lost on a blind man. When they once again found themselves in the Wicca's room, Buffy chuckled.

"What?" Tara asked, climbing onto her bed, too tired even to change into pajamas. The Slayer sat down next to her, pulling a fleece blanket over her girlfriend.

"The guys and I had planned to spend next Saturday at my house after Patrol. Rent some movies, eat some pop-corn, get in a little face-time with Mom and Dawn…" she trailed off.

"Why can't the three of you? Because of the spell?" she asked, not understanding. Buffy shook her head.

"No, Honey," she began, her voice hesitant, "I'm saying I want you to come too." Tara's entire mind froze up. "Xander's bringing Anya, Willow's gonna have Oz, even my mom and Dawn are gonna be paired up kind of…" she laughed nervously, "Giles stopped coming after Anya rented _**American Pie**_… I think it made him realize how old he is and how not-normal it is that he hangs out with people who are roughly half his age." Tara was still trying to re-boot her brain and therefore remained silent.

"I mean – you don't _have_ to come!" she insisted, trying to back out of it, "I've survived a few already, playing the fifth wheel, but I just thought… well, with everyone having someone, and me having you, well… well, I was hoping maybe we could, you know, be there with each other." She finished a bit lamely.

"Buffy, does your mom know about me?" she asked, her worry audible, "Did Dawn tell her that you and I are dating?"

"No." Buffy sounded surprised more than anything. "She's actually managed to respect my personal privacy for once." She chuckled.

"Is she going to mind?" Tara asked slowly. Buffy sighed.

"I don't know. But the problem is - it really doesn't matter, does it? I mean I'm dating you, I care about you, and while if it does bother her it won't be enough to make me leave you. This is a part of me, Tara, and while she and I have never discussed it, now seems as good an opportunity as I could hope for. Better! Because, it's _you_. And you're perfect." Somehow she managed to say that last word the way she always did. As though she believed it, as though there wasn't a truer or more nobler word in her vocabulary.

"May I ask a favor?" Tara asked, her body weary from the energy spent on the spell, yet revived by Buffy's words. "I will go, but will you let me meet your mother as your friend? Let her know me as a person, as a friend to you first rather than my suddenly showing up in her house – among friends of yours that she's known since you moved here – and have this whole seriousness follow me through her door?" Buffy smiled sadly, but nodded, her eyes watering.

"Yes."

"I hate to come to your house under false-pretenses, but I don't want to ruin the evening with heavy-handed words between you and your mother… or a possible fight." She added quietly. Buffy took her hand, easing Tara back until she lay flat on her bed. The Wicca let out a long sigh of relief once her head hit the pillows. "If you want, and only if you feel you need it or think it's best, I will be there with you when you tell her the truth." She sighed, her eyes slipping closed. She felt kisses against the backs of her fingers and smiled a little.

"You are the perfect woman." Buffy whispered.

"Go see if the firefly spell worked," Tara muttered, and I'll come see you tomorrow after I go to the library in the morning." She cracked an eye open briefly to smile at the Slayer as she got up. "I'm going to find a picture of _**The Venus of Urbino**_ tomorrow."

(_To Be Continued…_)

-VixenRaign-


	17. In the Company of a Goddess

July fifth through tenth, 2007

**Ink Blots**, _Chapter Seventeen_,

"_**In The Company of a Goddess**_"

Tara walked quickly down the second floor hall, though she didn't notice it at first. She only realized her pace might have been slightly hurried when another student practically dove out of her path when she came around the corner. Making a conscious effort to lighten her pace, she realized she'd been walking to the rhythm of her over-excited heartbeat. Slowing her steps, however, did not slow the hammering in her chest. She stood outside of 214, and shook out her hands, trying to get them to stop shaking. She was nervous and fidgety; and after last night, _not to mention this morning_, Tara thought heavily, she had little idea what to expect once she walked through this door.

_Joni Mitchell?_, Tara asked herself as she listened to the music wafting from under the closed door, _I wouldn't have guessed this to be Buffy's kind of music_? As she raised her hand to knock, she sighed, resigning herself to the idea of _whatever happens, happens… But that's how it tends to be with Buffy, and for the most part it's gone well_.

She heard a muffled voice call out as the volume knob was turned all the way down until there was silence. The sight that greeted Tara through the now open door was almost painfully cute, albeit unexpected. Buffy was wearing a loose pair of gray cargo pants, a sky blue hooded sweatshirt with "UC Sunnydale" scrolled across it in vibrant-yellow text. Her hair was pulled back into a simple, messy bun and she actually had a pencil between her teeth and a textbook in her hand as she opened the door.

Tara couldn't help the slightest edge of a smirk creeping into her smile at the vision in front of her. Blushing darker than the taller woman could ever remember seeing her girlfriend, the slayer spit the pencil into the open book before slamming in closed and tucking it under her arm. Clearing her throat and running a hand over her hair, the shorter of the two blonds stepped back and waved the Wicca inside. Shaking her head and grinning widely, Tara stepped into the room wordlessly, her nervousness forgotten in a moment. _How is it_, she'd wonder hours later, _that even without effort or planning, Buffy always finds a way to calm me; to make me feel equal and unthreatened_?

"I, uh, wasn't expecting you." The Slayer muttered sheepishly, "…as if that wasn't obvious." She added under her breath. Tara smiled, standing in the empty space between the desks and the beds.

"Sorry about the, uh," she gestured vaguely about the room and then to herself. "Will and I are taking this Psych class that's crazy intense. I got this really great grade on a paper a couple weeks ago and then the teacher asked me to lead a discussion group along with that TA I told you about?" she chuckled nervously, "Well, it went so well and the TA spoke so highly of me back to Prof. Walsh she asked me to lead a study group for the mid-term in exchange for some serious extra credit. I think Willow's having some academic envy, since she dragged me kicking and screaming through most of high school… she's determined to out-score me on the mid-term we have just before thanksgiving." Tara smiled and shook her head, telling her she didn't mind.

"I don't usually babble that much." Buffy blushed again, dropping the textbook onto what Tara assumed was her desk as she leaned back against it. "I also usually change out of my pajamas before 10am, most days." Tara smiled and held out a hand. Buffy took it and laced their fingers together.

"It's really okay, Buffy. I came here to see you, not your clothes or your room." The smaller woman pushed off the desk and leaned up to leave a brief kiss on Tara's lips.

"Now that you've seen me," her voice held a hint of nervousness, her words said with such a slightly forced nonchalant tone, Tara knew there must have been a double-meaning in her words. "What do you plan to do?" Tara leaned down and kissed her lightly, feeling some of her nervousness coming back.

"I came to give you my answers, and possibly hear a few in return?" she ventured, speaking quietly due to their closeness. Raising her forehead from where she'd rested it against the Sorceress' chin, Buffy looked at her confused.

"Huh?" she almost grunted.

"The painting?" Tara ventured, and as soon as she did Buffy's eyes widened. "I w-w-went to the Reference Annex this morning, in the l-library? They had a large-scale print of it on loan from the Los Angeles Museum of Restoration."

"And?" Buffy asked expectantly, taking the girl by the hand and leading her towards the beds. Quickly sweeping aside notebook and highlighters with a sudden and careless gesture, Buffy impatiently cleared a space on her bed. Guiding the blonde to sit down, the Slayer then kneeled on the carpeted floor in front of her, waiting eagerly. Tara would have giggled at the display were she not already so nervous.

"_And_, what do you want me to say?" Tara asked quietly.

"I want you to tell me what you thought!" Buffy pressed with an excited grin, "I wanna know what it made you think about." The Slayer still held one of the girl's hands in her own, playing with it idly in Tara's lap as she gazed up at her.

"Well, as a student?" she asked, thinking back on what she'd decided she was going to say to Buffy hours ago. "I thought it was a wonderful piece to deconstruct," she began, and she went on about the significance of the different pieces of the visual puzzle; the dog on the bed, the handmaidens in the background, the use of color, the significance of the time of day…

Truth be told, this was the easy part. Tara liked her Art History class, paid close attention to the language of the visual medium and the code that was used in Renaissance paintings to convey a myriad of things – now she was just repeating. But this morning when she'd been in that small, private viewing booth for over and hour, positively gawping at a large, gorgeous, smokey photo-print of a naked woman on a bed; she sat there, largely unmoving, she was mildly shocked, transfixed by the image that greeted her from the moment she entered. Now, the next two frames of reference that Buffy had asked her to view the painting through? That was the hard part. She knew her stutter would rear it's ugly head - and just thinking about what she knew she'd have to say she could feel that stammer in her throat ready to trip her up at any moment. And all the while, as she rambled on, Buffy sat on the floor at her knees, gazing up at her and smiling.

"And what about the rest of it?" she asked, as Tara's discussion began to thin a bit, "What else did you think of it?" The Wicca felt the blush creep up from under her collar.

"Well, as a woman," she started; hating that there was already a slight shake in her voice. "It made me think a bit about feminism – the age of the girl, the story behind it's creation and it's purpose and use," she took in a steadying breath, "It spurred on a lot of thinking, questions, ideas…" she trailed off a little, and she felt Buffy's thumb rub over the back of her wrist, "I thought about how thankful I am that," she took another breath, willing herself to calm "That love has become so widely accepted as a concept, and that it's pull and power over people is acknowledged… That these days, in our part of the world, the thought of a marriage without love – simply for business reasons – is deeply frowned upon." Buffy's grin widened, kissing each knuckle on the back of Tara's hand slowly. She felt her eyes slip closed briefly before regaining herself.

"And?" Buffy almost whispered, "What about as a woman?" she asked, the Slayer's voice becoming low and quiet the way it often did in their intimate moments together, "What did you think of when you looked at her, as a woman who loves women." She asked slowly, her eyes fixed on Tara's. _Sweet Goddess she has my heart racing so fast it's almost scaring me!_ For a fleeting moment the Sorceress considered saying that she **didn't** love women. She'd loved **woman**. One, single, unique… _One girl in all the world_, or so the saying goes.

"I think she's beautiful." She murmured, hoping that Buffy could follow where her mind had wondered, back to her Slayer. A smile spread, slowly but widely over the smaller woman's face at these words.

"I'm glad." Buffy took the hand she held in her own, and brought it to her lips. Closing her eyes, she kissed the back of it, down to the bare wrist, all the way around, kissing her palm, then every finger to it's tip, slowly, slowly, until she got to the soft thumb. As she pressed it against her lips she smiled as the rest of the Wicca's hand moved to gently hold her face, tilting her head back as Tara leaned down to kiss her. It was slow, languid, and loving. Patient, the way Buffy had always been, and curious as Tara, deepening their connection, dove head first into this feeling radiating from her.

"You asked for answers." Buffy said quietly, letting the kiss break after many long minutes. Tara nodded, "Then give me your questions."

"W-w-well," she stammered, feeling the hard thump-thump of her heart in her chest like someone pounding their fist upon a locked door. "What made you think of her? I-I-I mean, _it_. What made you think of **that** painting… Where do you know it from?" Buffy smiled a slow smile, soft on her face, taking an extra second to languish in the feel of Tara's hand there before taking it in her own and holding it in the Wicca's lap.

"That's a long answer." She muttered seriously, "You sure you wanna hear it?" Tara nodded, sure in what she wanted, finally. "Okay." She seemed to settle herself a bit, getting comfortable on the floor, as though for a long haul, and Tara felt herself grin. "What?" Buffy chuckled, seeing her expression.

"Nothing." She murmured, the Slayer's curious expression asked again and Tara caved. "Just nice. Getting to uhm, you know, hear s-some details? Little back-story I guess." She blushed, suddenly fascinated by the hand holding her own. Buffy laughed a little darkly at this.

"Well, for that I'd like to apologize; I know I don't often explain certain things to you. It's not because I plan to hide these things from you forever, really, it's just that – well – uh…" she trailed off, her blush out-matching Tara's own at the moment. "It's like a ship's candle. It has a guard around it, so that you don't burn more than you need. You unroll it slowly, as needed, and it helps prevent a fire from breaking out – which, on a ship? Very key. Made of wood, middle of the ocean…" Tara grinned at her a little and she cut herself off.

"Okay. Short version? My life for the past four years and some change? Not pretty. Not just mine, but the people around me. And as badness happens, and you see it for yourself? When you ask questions, you are more than entitled to answers. But I don't want to unwind all the badness at once. I don't want to scare you off with my past, because I'm already worried enough about what lies in our future." Her tone turned somber and Tara kept quiet for a moment.

"I would never hide anything from you that I thought might put you in danger, or not tell you for fear of you leaving me. To be honest, I don't think there is anything quite that bad in my past – except for that whole _Slayer_ thing." Tara allowed for a brief smile which Buffy mirrored back to her, comfortingly. "Honestly, if you can put up with that? I think we're golden."

"Okay."

"Okay." Buffy grinned at her, holding her gaze as she sighed thoughtfully. "Have I ever told you what my mom does for a living?" Tara shook her head. "She owns a small art gallery in town. Just a little knock-around place. It's small, but the largest one in town that isn't a private collection… She loves art, I mean _really_ – _**loves**_ art. Growing up, Dawn and I were read Ovid's _Metamorphosis_ and other Greek and Roman myths as bedtime stories. We had _**A Visual Guide to the Louver**_ and _**Enlightenment Masters**_ on our coffee table rather than fashion magazines."

"Sounds wonderful." Tara whispered, squeezing the hand in hers. Buffy grinned, nodding.

"Yeah, it kinda was. So when I was a kid – and you know how when you're young, there's no higher authority of knowledge than your parents? – Well, when my mother would tell me that those women in the paintings; with their full bodies, pale skin and soft, black hair were the priceless, timeless, ever-lasting symbols of the perfection of beauty? I believed her. And I continued to do so for a long, long time." She grinned a little at this. "Hell, to be honest I still do today I guess. But the point is, the art. My mother loved it." Buffy chuckled a bit as she glanced down at the carpet.

"As soon as my mother heard that I was going to get to go to college, she pressed _**one**_ thing into my head – _Study what you love_. At first I thought she was saying this to me because she thought, what with my still being an Active Slayer – why waste what may be barrowed time on trying to get a degree that I might never use. But, no. When I look back I realized it was part of her own regrets. She majored in Business & Economics and minored in Art History because she thought it'd leave her with more opportunities for gainful employment." The Slayer shrugged at this. "She was right, it did, but not any job she'd enjoy."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when we lived in L.A. she worked as an office manager in a very large art gallery; but all she really did was order office supplies, mail out bills and invitations to shows, answer phones, and get a brief glimpse of the art as it came in and she had to inventory it."

"Not what she'd expected?" Tara ventured. Buffy shook her head, smiling sadly.

"Exactly what she'd expected. Fair pay, but low gratification. She just didn't expect how hard it would be for her to watch the woman doing the job she wanted every day – and licking her envelopes."

"Oh," Tara sighed sympathetically, "I know that feeling." Buffy smirked.

"Should I be jealous?"

"That would be redundant." Tara chuckled.

"Well, when I was in the eighth grade, my father got this big promotion. Corner office, raise, a huge bonus and three weeks paid vacation. He decided, once he paid off most of the mortgage, he would spend the rest on a treat for my mother. He was going to take the entire family on a European art tour for almost a month. We went to Dublin, London, Madrid, Munich, Rome, Paris… But our last stop was in Florence where we stayed for a week. It's said to hold almost seventy-percent of all surviving renaissance and enlightenment art, so of course – it was the big finale of the trip."

"That sounds like a dream." Tara said wistfully, Buffy smiled and nodded but tried to hold in a laugh.

"Yeah, but don't _**ever**_ bring that trip up around my parents." She said gravely, though her smile never dimmed. "I think as a sign of respect, to reward me for my good behavior and to show that they trusted me – now that I was going to be at high school that fall - they let me wonder around the city by myself once I had my bearings. Well, the day we were all supposed to meet up at the Uffizi for our two-o'clock tour? I got lost. Or, well… delayed. I went to see the Ferragamo museum and lost track of time. I arrived too late for our tour, but they left my ticket for me at the front office, so I showed myself around instead."

"Don't get me wrong – I love Titian's _**The Venus of Urbino,**_ which I got to see in person along with a lot of Michelangelo and DaVinci - But when it comes to a painting gallery?" Buffy began, her expression a little sheepish, "I can walk by it and get as much pleasure out of it in three seconds as I can in three hours unless there's something incredible in it that catches my eye." She leaned forward, a flirtatious smile in place "_**The Venus of Urbino**_ for example." Her tone made Tara blush, "But Sculpture? That I could stare at for hours… Something about the volume of it. The physical, tangible presence of it; not relying on shadow-tricks to fool the eye into realism but actually achieving it – three dimensionally." Buffy sounded almost longing, her tone insistent, as though determined to get Tara to believe, yet the Wicca had an odd feeling that as the Slayer look around her, she saw nothing that actually lay in the room with them.

"I dunno if you know the layout of the Uffizi, but the entrance is also the exit and it's kind of shaped like a big **U**. The inside curve is one long connecting hall-way lined with marble and bronze sculptures, and the out-side curve is a series of rooms full of paintings." Buffy's tone slowed, her voice lowering. Tara noticed a blush over the bridge of Buffy's nose that wouldn't seem to fade as she stared pointedly down at Tara's knees and refused to look up.

"Well I decided to glance in at all the paintings first with my usual quick-eye, and then make the trip back around slowly as I took my time with the sculptures." Tara leaned forward a bit as the Slayer's voice became quieter. The whole air seemed to change as a brief silence passed within this story, and when the smaller woman continued, it was with a heaviness floating just below the surface of her words. "I saw the busts of Kings, philosophers, heroes and rulers, symbols of great empires and egos. I stood in the awing presence of gods…" she glanced up at Tara briefly, letting a slow breath out.

"Do you know the story of Pygmalion?" Buffy asked.

"You mean the play _**My Fair Lady**_ was based on?" She doubted it.

"No, the Greek myth." She said slowly, "It's the story of a man, a great King, who was never moved by any woman until he carved the perfect one himself. He birthed her from a large piece of ivory and fell in love with her – doting on her, dressing her in silk and painting her lips, rouging her cheeks and lying next to her in bed at night." Buffy chuckled sadly at this and looked back down at Tara's legs, avoiding the Sorceress' face. "He fell in love with her, desperately, and begged the goddess of love – _**Venus**_ – to send him a woman like his Galatea, _The woman with milk white skin_… But she never came. Instead, Venus saw the power of this man's love for the lifeless stone and breathed existence into her. And when Pygmalion got home from prayer, and laid his hand upon his beloved beauty he felt her warmth…" Both girls were frozen, as though concentrating; though on what perhaps neither knew.

"She came to life?" Tara ventured, almost whispering. Buffy smiled and nodded.

"When I looked at this one statue, that's all I could think about." She chuckled, blushing, her breathing slightly quick, "Here in front of me was this Goddess, larger than life and beautiful in every light and angle… Athena, the Goddess of War and the Hunt. She sat on a small stool, her spear in one hand and her Trojan helmet resting up upon her head." Buffy cleared her throat at this but Tara could hear how it had already begun to lower.

"Her robes, just barely open, showed a perfectly human, impossibly real calve, curving down to delicate, smooth feet in cute little sandals." Buffy smiled a bit, pulling her hand out of Tara's to run it slowly over and down Tara's knee. It was at this point that Tara saw the Slayer's gaze was not cast upon her distractedly anymore, but fixedly. She was no longer seeing beyond what was right in front of her, but was hyper aware it instead. "She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. This statue, this woman this – _Goddess_, not more than an arm's length before me!" Tara shivered, that odd, tense, pleasurable feeling building inside of her as Buffy pulled away, kneeling at her feet and looking so adoringly at the woman in front of her.

"It was August in Italy!" she chuckled suddenly, still distracted, "It was almost one-hundred degrees outside and the museum had the air conditioning cranked so high most people were pulling on the light sweaters they'd tied around their waists… But this thing in front of me; stone, marble, this thing that by all logic should have been the coldest surface in the entire museum? She looked so lifelike, so perfect I knew she just had to be warm… Because she was generating a heat in me, and I needed to feel it from her." Tara's eye widened slowly as she watched Buffy slowly reach out a hand towards the Wicca's own body, as though afraid to touch her.

"She sat, almost as you sit now… and I remember, as I thought it, seeing my hand coming up before my face, level with her pale, perfect calve and I remember thinking – _Buffy! What the hell are you doing!_..." Buffy let out a short, slightly frightened laugh, but her eyes never left her slowly approaching hand as it hovered before her girlfriend's own leg. "But I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know, needed to know what was causing that heat within me from this woman – needed to know if this was some blessed figure containing the spirit of the goddess I saw before me…"

The backs of Buffy's knuckles brushed gently, ever so softly against the shin of Tara's left leg, coming up centimeter by centimeter until it stopped at the base of her kneecap. Slowly, and with more confidence than she knew she had, Tara took the Slayer's hand in her own and held it tight. She'd seen the way the fingers'd trembled, and tried to ignore the quaking in her own. As though surprised by the action Buffy's head snapped up to look at Tara, and saw there were tears gathering in the corners of her hazel eyes.

"And then it all went to hell." She croaked out. "Yelling, whistles, angry guards shouting in Italian at me, people pouring out of galleries to see what the commotion was!" she laughed again, a little hysterically, but recovered, squeezing the hand within her own.

"My parents were humiliated, they'd been told by the guard who'd seen me what I'd done and kicked us all out. The entire way home it was nothing but yelling and Dawn crying because – let's face it? She was just a kid; eight or nine years old – and for the rest of the trip I was kept on a leash by my parents that was so short I was glad there was only two days left before we went back to L.A. again." The Slayer sighed, her expression still one of mild shock and disbelief, as though even now – years later – the memory of that moment, being jarred out of her reverie with the statue shook her to her core.

"Athena?" Tara asked quietly, her voice careful and calm. "She is also the Goddess of Wisdom." She pointed out, brushing the Slayer's hands away when she'd tried to wipe her eyes. "Perhaps, n-now that you're older – that you know there can be truth in such incredible acts," she began gently, drying her girlfriend's cheeks with careful, slow thumb-strokes across her face. "What do you think, n-now that you've remembered you encounter?" Buffy chuckled, almost disbelievingly at her words.

"Tara this isn't some vision that has _returned_ to me!" she laughed, but humorlessly, "Just like how my family will always remember that trip as a disaster because the final event was my unforgivable act of touching that statue," She sat up on her knees, looking pointedly into Tara's face. "Those few, brief moments have had an unforeseeable effect on my future."

"How do you mean?"

"Tara, I may have grown up in a house without _**Vogue**_, but that September I went to a suburban Los Angeles high school. You want to guess how long it took me to learn that, by broader standards, what I felt for the shape of that figure was not going to be widely accepted by my peers as '**Normal**'?" Tara blushed. "I knew what drew me to her, and it was her curves, her lines, her roundness that denoted a subtle strength but a softness beyond what marble may have made up of her. And for years I was afraid to let people see my admiration… When you already feel like you don't fit, it's hard to say you disagree with what the world already believes to be right." She sounded gently pleading. "I may not be a homosexual Tara, but I am certainly a Lesbian. I love women in the truest sense, for all that they are when they are natural – designed with the strength to withstand the worst pains there are in life, giving and beautiful and creatures of creativity." She blushed at this, casting her eyes down. She was quiet for a long moment.

"I've talked too much." She muttered, her face and neck blooming with her sudden realization of how much she'd actually said.

"I could stand to hear a little more." Tara murmured, knowing she herself must be flushed; though perhaps not for entirely the same reasons.

"I'd rather hear you speak for a while," she admitted, though her eyes still lay fixed at the carpet near Tara's feet.

"Th-then I think I'd better t-t-tell you," she began, and Buffy looked up worriedly, not liking the fear she heard in the Wicca's voice, "You t-talk about these gorgeous women…" she trailed off quietly too ashamed to say the rest. Buffy pulled her chin up, her face solid and a little sad.

"My Minerva," she kissed Tara's lips slowly, "Sweet Pallas," she sighed against Tara's ear and she kissed along her cheek, "My gorgeous Galatea, my radiant goddess…" she moaned, her hand sliding behind Tara's head, holding her close as she savored and positively worshiped the Sorceress' full, soft lips and pushed her oh-so-gently back on the bed. Hovering over her by mere inches, as Tara looked up into the face of the closest thing there was to a living god, like a Herculean descendent of some mythical being; one of the last epic Heroes left on earth – she watched as Buffy gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and breathed slowly out of her nose, transfixed. "You are a fool if you can't find reasons to love yourself." She sighed, sounding almost distant. "I do."

Tara's eyes widened. She felt like she was choking on the breath she'd only half taken – now it seemed to be refusing to move, wouldn't come or go. She could feel her heart hammering so hard she felt the Misdirection necklace she'd made at graduation ticking against the pulse in her neck. Buffy just continued to gaze down at her, playing with her hair – seemingly oblivious to the slow, quiet, murderous effect she was having on the woman laying beneath her.

"Say something," Buffy pleaded, her voice finally revealing some human frailty.

"You have awful taste in women." She had no idea why that _**had**_ to be the first thing out of her mouth, but she knew it had to come first. Before, "But I love you in spite of it anyway."

(_To Be Continued…_)

-VixenRaign-

Warning – contains some vague illusions to Statuephilia (which I didn't even know was a real thing until I looked this all up)


	18. Mothers & Lovers

Lyrics from "_Lily of the West_" by the Chieftains, sung by Mark Knopfler on the _**Long Black Veil**_ CD by Virgin Records.

August 9 – October 23 2007

**Ink Blots**_Chapter Eighteen,_

"_**Mothers and Lovers**__"_

When Joyce was a child, she'd never been afraid of the dark. There hadn't been a need to leave the closet or hallway light on, nor for a nightlight to be plugged in. When she'd been to sleep away camp for the first time, up in the mountains far away from her parents, she'd been one of few campers who didn't sleep with a flashlight switched on in their sleeping bag every night. As she got older she found she couldn't fall asleep unless there was complete darkness, whether moonlight or streetlight filtering in through a window it would keep her awake. She'd found that the absence of stimuli for such a prominent sense was incredibly relaxing.

Now, she was kept awake at night by the dark. She no longer found comfort in the blackness. Perhaps because, not too long ago, she'd finally known the fear that those other children had. As a child she'd never worried that there were things out there, in the dark that she couldn't see. That the night held any danger or that the sounds she heard were of some lurking _thing_… She was not without imagination as a kid, but that was just not where it went. For the past two years almost Joyce slept with the blinds wide open, so as soon as morning and daylight had arrived she'd know; the danger was over again. At least for a little while.

While she knew that many people in this town took comfort in the fact that her daughter was out there, working, keeping the world safe – it didn't help Joyce put head to pillow at night. If anything it kept her tossing and turning on it until morning. She knew her daughter would tell her not to worry, that she knew what she was doing, she wasn't alone, and things that happened never just happed – some things were meant to be. Even death, sometimes. But Slayer or not, Joyce was not ready to lose her baby girl. So some nights, like tonight, she knew better than to try and sleep. The only difference was that tonight she knew her Buffy was safe.

_Thank god she's asleep, _Joyce thought_, or I'd be keeping __**her**__ awake worrying about how much __**I**__ worry_… The house was dark, the street outside was quiet, and she had both her children safe and sound and within the protected walls of her own home. She sighed quietly to herself, conscious of the people sleeping not far away from her.

Buffy and her friends often liked to come over and watch movies at the Summers' House. They never really talked about why. No one questioned _why not Xander's house?,_ because the destructive and inappropriate behavior of his parents made the environment unwelcoming and these gatherings were partly an escape for Xander. _Why not Willow's house,_ you ask? Because Willow's parents are never home. And while the Scoobies have certainly earned the trust not to take dangerous advantage of this fact, again – these movie nights have always been partly so Willow doesn't have to feel so alone in the evenings.

As time went on, the group grew. Willow found Oz, and Xander found Cordelia – and then Joyce decided she could no longer let Buffy move the TV up to her room for these gatherings. While Giles would occasionally attend, Joyce noticed that Buffy never ceased to be alone. Angel never came, and the one time Faith came she made a big show out of it – arriving late, complaining loudly about the choice of movies, asking if she could drink while in the house, and then proclaiming profuse boredom before leaving early, but not before asking Buffy to join her. Joyce knew she must have raised her daughter well, because she didn't leave her guests.

When Buffy asked her a couple of weeks ago if _the guys_ could get together at the house, Joyce had said yes. She also usually, strategically planned for Dawn to be staying over at a friend's house so as to give the older ones some relief from the almost worshipful attention of the youngest Summers - but upon hearing that a 'Tara' would be attending Dawn called up Janice herself and cancelled the play-date. She asked Dawn who this person was, at which point Dawn was an explosion of "Oh my gods" and "She's so cool" and Joyce could only pull a few facts from the garbled mess.

It seemed that Tara was the latest addition to the Scooby Gang. She didn't seem to be an attaché, as Xander was still dating Anya and Oz and Willow had been together quite happily for some time now, but she also seemed to be new. While Joyce herself had been in search for new material for the gallery in LA, this old acquaintance from there had resurfaced in her daughter's life. There was something involving magic and Willow, Buffy and stitches, then something about babysitting and a diary – Joyce had no idea. When she'd tried to get Dawn to explain while taking longer, slower breaths, the only response she got was "_You'll like her when you meet her_".

She did like her. Where she used to feel torn between wanting to respect her daughter's independence among her friends and wanting to keep an obviously lonely and isolated daughter company on what was one-man short of a triple date; Joyce was glad Tara had been there to help act as a buffer.

What she was sort of surprised about was how welcoming she was of Dawn. From the moment Joyce saw the girl coming up the walk at the rear of the group, she could tell the girl was painfully shy. But when Dawn wrapped her in a hug at seeing her, the young woman smiled and hugged Dawn back, asking about how her classes were going and if she'd "read any bad books lately" – which caused her brunette daughter to blush profusely.

When they'd finally been introduced, Tara had called her "Mrs. Summers"; a greeting that came out quietly and slightly stammered, but obviously respectful. When she'd insisted that the girl call her Joyce just as all the others did, Tara blushed and she shook her hair slightly into her face, explaining she'd grown up in a primarily Southern home and if it was all right she'd prefer not to. Glancing over the slightly taller girl's shoulder to where her daughter stood watching expectantly, Joyce smiled.

She suspected that her daughter's built-in instinct to protect lead her to make friends with a rather weary bunch. When she'd first met Willow all those years ago, well? She never thought the redhead would blossom into the young woman she was now. Recruited by Oxford – and turned them down? Dating a werewolf? In a rock band? This girl Tara didn't look like she'd say shit if she stepped in it. Who knows what she'd be by the time Buffy was done with her.

Because that was the thing about her daughter – Buffy, for all her apparent isolation? She knew a good person when she saw one. Maybe not perfect, maybe not even _human_, but a good one none the less. And as Joyce sighed sitting on the darkened stairs, looking over the sleeping figures filling her living room, she knew two things. Firstly? That Tara was possibly the sweetest person she had yet to meet. And secondly? That her daughter, though she might be a great judge of character, could also be really oblivious sometimes.

Partly due to Tara being so welcoming and indulgent of Dawn, Joyce felt less pressured to give the kids their space. If anything, she felt more welcome than she had for a while past. Xander sat in the arm chair, Anya in his lap asking many obvious and annoying questions in his ear, Willow and Oz sat on the floor with their backs against the couch, the coffee table in front of them laden with snacks. Dawn sat in front of that, less than a foot away from the television, while Joyce, Buffy and Tara sat across the large comfortable couch with their legs tucked up so as to not be kicking the two redheads at their feet.

While Joyce may be glad that her daughter has Tara for situations such as this, where in the past she might have been so obviously reminded of her single-status, she also saw how attached she was to Tara. While everyone discretely ignored Xander's loud kissing during the middle of the first film, or the snuggling of the other pair during the romantic end of the second movie, Buffy and Tara chatted amiably with one another.

She just hoped that Tara wasn't providing her daughter with _too much_ of a safety net. Joyce knew her daughter had lost something she'd felt was amazing and once-in-a-lifetime when Angel left for LA, but she prayed that such a loss didn't justify in her mind to never take a risk again – never trying to find another happiness, to test if perhaps there would be another soul-mate like Angel.

And that, if Buffy ever did try again, that Tara wouldn't get in the way for other reasons. When the exposition of the third film started to unwind, she noticed her daughter glance over at the taller blonde more often. Tara was yawning.

"Sorry," she'd muttered under the ongoing dialog from the screen, "I'm not used to being up this late." This made Buffy smile a little.

"Sure you are," she countered, oblivious to Joyce watching out of falsely sleeping eyes, "You're just not used to being _active_ until this late." Buffy corrected, her tone almost playful. Tara shushed her, and turned back to the screen, but her eyelids were drooping. It was only minutes later when Tara's head was on Buffy's shoulder. Much in the way Anya's had been on Xander's for the entirety of the third film, but with far less snoring than the Ex-Demon. It didn't take a genius to know that this shy, quiet newcomer had more than a passing attachment to her daughter. She wondered if anyone else had noticed? She wondered if _Buffy_ had noticed?

While a part of her hoped that Buffy hadn't - for fear of Tara becoming so embarrassed that she leave the comfort of this group of misfits - she also hoped that Buffy was not that dense. The way she'd been acting with Tara? Well if Buffy _did_ know, she was cosseting the poor girl a bit too much; encouraging her, giving her false hopes. She prayed that her silly and often misguided daughter wasn't indulging in this poor girl's attention and care for the sheer flattery and security of it – because it was without risk or commitment on her part and offered freely.

Earlier, when Tara seemed to regain herself enough to realize what she was doing – quickly falling asleep and with her head on Buffy's shoulder - she'd tried to straighten up and remain awake. It was futile though. A minute later, she'd tried to scoot down so she could lay her head on the armrest next to her but failed – she'd accidentally kicked Oz in the shoulder, forgetting he was down there.

Buffy just chuckled, and with a soft hand on the back of the near-asleep-girl's neck, she guided Tara back to the resting place on her shoulder. She'd kept her hand there, too, soothing the blonde deeper into sleep. It was not long after this that Joyce excused herself, heading upstairs to bed. Dawn was passed out on the floor in her sleeping bag already and no one seemed bothered by her presence enough to try and move her.

When, hours later, Joyce found she couldn't sleep she knew that she should take the rare advantage offered to her. So here she sat, on the darkened stairs, indulging in sad thoughts of her sleeping daughter on the couch far in front of her. Worrying for her safety, when she risked it for others so readily; worrying about the state of her heart, as one was being offered perhaps foolishly. _Figures_, Joyce thought, as she leaned back against the wall, _That I would have to lurk here in the dark to spend time with my daughter the Slayer…_

It seemed that everyone had fallen asleep pretty much where she'd last seen them. Buffy and Tara had taken over the space she'd vacated on the couch. The Slayer lay with her head at the end closest to Joyce, and the taller blonde curled up facing the rear cushions at the opposite end. As the Wicca stirred, Joyce held her breath. She prayed that Tara's tossing wouldn't wake her daughter and she'd be caught acting "like a mom"; like some worried parent watching their baby sleep in a crib, to reassure themselves that their child was alive and safe.

As Tara settled onto her back, she watched as Buffy's head lifted off of her arms, glancing down the couch to see what the movement was for. The Slayer seemed to wait for a long minute, still and thoughtful, seemingly oblivious to her mother watching silently behind her through the dark. But, after a while, Buffy sat up. Slowly Buffy kneeled, then crouched, then slunk down the couch towards the other girl. Joyce now found that the breath she'd been holding was frozen in her lungs. _Oh dear_… she thought, _what have I done?_

"Wha – Buffy?"

"Shhh…" Buffy whispered to Tara through the silence of the living room.

"What are you doing?" Tara demanded, and Joyce could just make out her silhouette glancing over the others around them, as clear as any of the shadows there in the dark."Wait! What're –"

"Calm down," Buffy chuckled, quietly, and Joyce saw her lean in to kiss the blonde and she felt a brief burst at panic – how could she? How could her daughter be so cruel as to take advantage of this poor young woman's shyness, her affection, and use it to try and dissipate her own misguided loneliness?

"Buffy you promised!" the girl bemoaned in between what must have been many brief kisses being rained on her, "I don't want your mother to –" she cut herself off and sighed in such a manner that, even through the dark that dominated the living room, she could tell that Tara was kissing her back. "And the – the guys?" Buffy sighed a little dramatically; and for a brief moment, through a beam of streetlight from in between the curtains, illuminating her daughter's face in 50 shades of gray for a moment; Joyce could see the amused and lovelorn expression her daughter wore. Joyce felt herself able to breathe again.

_**Oh**_.

She also felt her brain stop functioning, somewhat like her computer did that time she'd opened an email from a sender whom she hadn't recognized. _**Critical Error**_.

"Everyone's fast asleep. No one's going to wake up – I just… I felt you stirring, and I wanted to see that you were okay. That's all." Buffy laid back down next to Tara and through the same, narrow ribbon of streetlight she saw their fingers lace together idly. "You know, there's really no need to worry… my bedroom is not fifteen feet from the top of those stairs, with a strong and sturdy lock and decently insolated walls…"

Even before Joyce's brain, freshly kicked back into life at this sudden influx of disturbing facts, had the time to think _**Oh god!**_ Tara was interrupting her.

"Buffy!" she warned, a bit loudly considering all the sleeping bodies nearby, "I told you earlier, no. Everyone else is sleeping down here, and so are we. I don't want your mom to make any kind of hasty assumptions; she's barely had the chance to get to know me yet…" the worry was so evident in the girl's voice Joyce had to smile a little to herself.

"You're right."

"I am?"

Buffy chuckled at Tara's surprised tone. "Yeah, I think you have a point. Mom gets a chance to get to know you – she's gonna love you. Then, if she wigs out about all this? When she realizes how fruitless a lecture would be to change it? She's bound to feel _really_ stupid." All three blondes chuckled, and Joyce suddenly realized her mistake when she heard the sudden shift come from the couch.

"What is it?" Tara asked suddenly, sitting up a bit too.

"I thought I heard something…"

"S'prised ya could hear it, all the talking you two're doin'…" came Dawn's muttered words from near the television.

"here-here" chorused the rest, to which Buffy quickly shushed them.

"Guys! Shut up! My mom's asleep upstairs! And I'd really like it to stay that way-"

"So you and Tara can keep kissing, we know." Dawn said, rolling over, "If it's such a bad thing, then save it until you're away from her." The rest of the room seemed to settle in for a long moment and room was silent once again.

"Aren't you going to turn back aground?" Tara asked, far more quiet than she had been before.

"Mm Mmm." Buffy muttered in the negative, presumably settling in curled up with Tara at the far end of the couch. "Quite comfy here." Tara chuckled briefly, and Joyce was oddly struck by how pure and melodic it was.

"Sleep well, Darling." There was a slightly sarcastic edge to this statement, but she could see the two figures in the din huddled together snugly under their blanket.

When a seemingly long while had passed, and no one had moved nor spoken nor stirred Joyce moved as silently, as only one how knew her house as well as she did could back to her room. Once safe behind the locked door of her bedroom, she sat on the mattress and willed herself to have a reaction. As she felt it coming on she feared what may surface first.

Would she be angry? How could she be? Her daughter and her supposed lover had a point – Tara was a fine, sweet girl. How could she begrudge her happiness?

Or fear? For what, her daughter's soul? While Buffy's life as a Slayer and her experience had certainly taught them that there was indeed some higher power or powers out there, there certainly was no proof that any one idea was more right than another as far as morality went. Perhaps the ancient pagans who believed that any love, pleasure or satisfaction was a blessing in and of itself could be right? She certainly had little to no need to worry for their safety, as Buffy could definitely take care of herself, and she was obviously very protective of Tara already.

No, laughter won out. As Joyce laid back against her pillows, she was only a little surprised that amusement had been the first to bubble up from her chest. While Buffy had always been such a normal girl on the outside; loving to shop and being a little boy-crazy at times, there was something about all this that made her feel silly she'd not expected it before.

She remembered her thoughts from not an hour earlier, worrying that perhaps Buffy was taking advantage of Tara's feelings for her. Rubbing her fingers into her suddenly tired eyes she couldn't help but smile. Why hadn't she thought, even considered, that perhaps Buffy had cared for Tara too? _Lord knows Buffy's never looked the part for any of the rolls she's had no hand in choosing – why shouldn't that hold true for this too?_

…

Tara couldn't remember what woke her. She couldn't remember what she'd been dreaming about or if she'd been dreaming at all, she just knew that waking up was increasingly enjoyable each time she didn't do it alone. At some point Buffy must have been awake because the quilt had been pulled entirely over their heads, blocking out the light and the world beyond. Her arms were wrapped around the Slayer's middle at the base of her ribs, her chin against the golden crown of hair. No sooner than she could feel a smile tugging at her lips than the hands overlain on her own began stroking her forearms slowly.

"Good morning." She murmured, sounding falsely loud in the silent living room. The slayer let out a short, gruff moan as she tried to arch her back a bit to pop her tired joints. It resulted in a responding groan from Tara's throat as Buffy's rear made firm but brief contact with her… front. Buffy held in a chuckle but rolled over to face her girlfriend.

"Hmm, could be better." Leaning in for a kiss, her voice rough with sleep and Tara's mind was refilled with what she must have been dreaming about not too long ago. "I could need to change into fresh clothes, and offer to show you my room? All the other guys have seen it before. I'm just being _friendly_, keeping you from feeling left out…" the Slayer suggested conspiratorially. She kissed her again, this time lingering, taking advantage of Tara's distraction and preoccupation with her own thoughts.

"Buffy-" Tara tried to warn but it lacked conviction.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked. There was something about the playfulness in the smaller woman's tone that made the Sorceress pause. "Feel rested? Relaxed?" not for the first time, Tara wondered if she talked in her sleep and perhaps – until Buffy – no one had been in a position to tell her.

"Uhm," she started, licking her lips trying to gather her thoughts. It didn't help; they tasted like Buffy's lips.

"Wassamatter?" she asked, voice still rough though now noticeable more awake, "not in the mood to share with your girlfriend?"

"Buffy?"

Both girls froze.

Nothing. Neither moved for a long minute.

Slowly, the Slayer inched the quilt down, exposing two red faces and mussed hair.

"Will you take a poll of how many people want butter, syrup or both on their waffles?" Joyce asked before spinning around and walking into the kitchen. Turning to look at each other, the expressions on the two women's faces were identical. _We are so busted! You look so guilty! Why is there not more yelling?_

Both girls quickly climbed off the couch and followed the older woman into the next room.

"Uh, mom?" Buffy asked haltingly.

"No." she said solidly. Buffy froze. "Tell Dawn I'm not making pancakes _just_ for her. It's the same batter, I don't care if she really **does** believe that the indentations in waffles are 'Dents of Evil' – if she won't eat them then she can try and make them herself." Buffy let out a shaking breath, half relieved and half terrified.

"Uh, yeah, I'll do that," she began, not knowing what else to say at the moment, closely observing her mother. She could feel Tara standing close behind her, the tension in her body almost palpable.

"Tara, you're not one of those Vegan-Vegetarian-Fruititarians are you? Because I admit – I have no idea what is considered Kosher for any of those diets." Tara stood there with her mouth open as though she wanted to respond but nothing was coming out. Both Summers women looked at her waiting for her to answer, which of course didn't help, so Buffy jumped in to try and rescue her.

"Uhm, no, she's not a vegetarian mom – she just doesn't eat a lot of red meat."

"Oh, okay." She answered quickly, checking to see if the waffle-iron was fully warmed up yet. "Did you find out what people wanted?" she asked casually. Tara could feel something giving within the Slayer and then suddenly –

"Look, mom, about what was going on in the living room - "

"I know," she began, not looking at Buffy. They froze. "I can't imagine that's even remotely comfortable. Sleeping on a recliner? With Anya in your lap all night? Xander's probably even more exhausted than he was last night when he fell asleep." she said chuckling slightly.

"No! Mom, I meant about," and the Slayer's voice died in her throat suddenly again. She looked at Tara almost sadly. Out of Joyce's line of vision the Sorceress laid a hand at the base of the Slayer's spine, offering support and her reassurance. They shared a brief look, _It's now or never I guess_ being silently communicated.

"Why don't you offer Xander use of the shower, I'm sure he's bound to have some cramps in his legs after the night he's had. Tara and I can talk about you while you're gone."

"What?"

"Don't worry! I know you hid the baby-photo albums after the Christmas I spent with Faith, but you can't blame me for wanting to get to know my daughter's girlfriend."

_**Critical Error**_.

Like a zombie, after a few moments of being frozen and silently immobile, Buffy walked back into the living room. Tara clutched the counter in her weak hands hoping it would hold her up, now that she didn't have the Slayer to lean on while in the presents of her mother. She could hear voices in the other room, the other Scoobys waking up as Joyce poured the first waffle over the hot iron.

"G-Girlfriend?" Tara asked quietly. Joyce's smile shrank suddenly. Tara's blood came to a screeching halt in her veins.

"Did I jump the gun?" she asked worriedly, "Are you two not… dating? Is it just, unarticulated attraction at this point?"

"Oh, uhm, w-w-w-well, you s-see," Tara began, feeling her face redden as her voice shook, "B-B-Buffy… Your daughter and I…" Joyce closed the waffle-iron gently and sighed.

"You're not the first, Tara. There was… another girl Buffy used to be friends with, that I was pretty sure," Joyce grimaced embarrassingly, "I think she wanted her but wasn't exactly sure how, or why, or maybe she knew exactly why and wasn't proud of it – I don't know." She said slowly. "Whatever it was it didn't work out. Maybe they had too much in common or they were too different, but she was the first. Well, the first that I noticed, anyway. Last night, the way you looked at my daughter? I've seen before. It was the way she looked back that was the surprise." Tara blushed still darker, picking absently at the grout in the counter where her eyes were fixed.

"You're disappointed." She whispered, eyes still downcast.

"Kind of proud, actually." She finally glanced up and Joyce was smiling at her. "The other girl? She was… not subtle. I know, one way or another, she made it clear to my daughter that if she had any questions about her sexual orientation she'd have been more than happy to help clear them up." Tara closed her eyes and felt the blush move down her neck and burn her ears. _I can't believe I'm having this conversation with Buffy's mother. Alone! Oh, I wish Buffy were here… But Mrs. Summers does seem to be taking this well…_"Something tells me my daughter held out; waited for an offer worth keeping if the verdict came back 'Yes' and she wasn't as straight as the average person."

"I care a lot about her." She whispered, "I just w-want you to know that."

"Do you love her?" Buffy asked, leaning against the door to the hall. Tara gulped, trying to focus on her lover rather than the seriousness of the situation. She nodded.

"You know I do." She murmured, holding a hand out for her. Buffy took a step forward, smiling shyly as she took it in her own. Turning to face her mother she waited silently for a verdict. Quiet stretched out between the three blondes.

"So," Buffy finally said slowly, if only to try and fracture the pointed silence that now held the kitchen hostage. "What do you think?"

"I think it's only fair that if I cook breakfast for your friends, that you and they do the dishes." Just then the waffle-iron beeped and she pried it open. Gently tugging the golden, crispy breakfast-fodder free and placing it on plates, Joyce grinned. "Butter, syrup or both?" she asked. Tara glanced nervously at her girlfriend and found that she was smiling.

"You obviously don't know me as well as you think you do - or else you wouldn't have to ask." She answered back playfully. Joyce nodded.

"Both it is then." She said, adding the aforementioned toppings. "Tell the others that if they want to eat they better come and get it before my daughter consumes it all."

"Hey!" Tara held in a brief laugh as she quickly escaped back into the living room to relay the message.

While the others were in the living room, getting their things together and folding blankets while watching cartoons, Buffy was at the sink washing dishes as Tara dried. They'd not spoken much since the brief chat with Joyce. They couldn't – they were too relieved. They would just catch each other's eye and grin before turning away again. As Tara reached to take a juice-glass offered to her, she was surprised when the Slayer didn't release it.

"What?" she asked quietly. The smaller woman's grin was ear-to-ear. "What?" she asked, unable to help the shy tone creeping into her voice.

"You're humming." Buffy pointed out. Tara shook her hair into her face, eyes fixed on the sudsy water in the sink. "You must be happy."

"It's an old habit. I spent a lot of time alone when I was younger, doing chores. I guess…" she chuckled as Buffy dropped the tumbler back into the water, her grin never dimming. "I guess it made me feel less alone."

"You're not alone now."

"No, you're right, I'm not." Buffy wrapped her arms around Tara's middle, making sure her damp hands kept their distance.

"What was it?" she whispered, leaning in, almost kissing her.

"huh?"

"The song. It sounds kind of familiar."

"Just something I heard a lot growing up." A brief kiss. "Irish pub song. My father didn't know many lullabies I guess."

"Title?" Tara just shook her head, leaning her forehead against Buffy's, her hands at the girl's shoulders. "Sing it to me."

"_No._" Tara said solidly, though sure to keep her voice down. Buffy pouted. Tara held fast. Buffy ran a cool, wet finger down a few inches of Tara's spine beneath her shirt and the Sorceress squeaked.

"Please?" Buffy asked sweetly.

"Evil."

Buffy leaned in, kissing along the corner of Tara's jaw, up to her ear into which she let out the softest moan, "pretty please?"… Tara actually trembled and felt herself lose her footing for the briefest moment.

"You cheated."

"Strategy, Honey, not cheating." She said smirking. Tara merely smiled as wet fingers pushed hair back behind her ears.

"_When first I came, to Ireland,_

_Some pleasure, for to find,_

_T'was there I spied, a damsel fair,_

_Most pleasing to my mind_,"

"_Her rosy cheeks_

_And sparkling eyes_

_Like arrows, pierced my breast,_

_And they call her Lovely, Molly-O,_

_The Lily of the West_…"

Tara sang a sad song, of a beautiful woman who betrayed the man who loved her, but even still her face haunted him in his dreams. It was slow and beautiful, with Buffy's head resting on Tara's shoulder as she sang softly to her. She was unhurried and her voice was soft and beautifully clear. Neither girl noticed the others approaching the doorway to the kitchen to see where the song was coming from.

"…_Now that I'd gained, my liberty,_

_A-roaming I will go,_

_I'll ramble through ole'Ireland,_

_And travel Scotland's shore_,"

"_Though she fought_

_to throw my life away_

_She still disturbs my rest,_

_I still must style her, Molly-O,_

_The Lily of the West_…"

"Wow," Willow muttered in awe. Both girls' heads shot up as they quickly turned to look at her. "That was remarkable!"

"I'd have to agree." Oz nodded, "You're good. You should sing more often." Buffy's eyes widened as she looked at Tara, her girlfriend red as a tomato.

"Three whole sentences in praise of your singing, _from Oz no less_!" she pointed out proudly.

"Maybe you could sing with the Dingoes," Willow suggested suddenly, "They've been trying to find a female singer to soften a few of their sets." She glanced at Oz who nodded and was so close to having an encouraging expression the moment was becoming painfully ripe with anticipation.

"N-n-no, thank you, r-r-r-really, I, uhm,"

"She'll think about it. Thanks Oz." Buffy cut in, part trying to save Tara from her embarrassment due to her stutter-slash-public singing, and partly to keep her from slamming the close closed on what the Slayer believed would be an amazing possibility. Anyone could see that Tara could use some more confidence. The two redheads walked back into the living room, leaving only Joyce in the doorway. They both continued to blush a bit under her silent scrutiny as the older woman leaned against the door jam.

"Can you really blame me?" she asked her mother bashfully, keeping a protective arm around Tara's waist. Joyce just smiled and shook her head, straightening herself up before walking out of the kitchen again.

"At least this one's _human_." Were hr last words before departing. At Tara's head shooting up and all the blood draining out of her face Buffy groaned.

"Thanks mom…" she muttered, a hand over her eyes. _This is gonna take some explaining_…

( _**To Be Continued…**_)

-**VixenRaign**-


	19. Breaking the Surface

March 3 - 13 2008

"**Ink Blots"**, _Chapter Nineteen,  
__**Breaking Through the Surface**_

Tara was exhausted after the day she'd had, but she was still shocked that she'd managed to fall asleep at all. Her mind had been running with a thousand thoughts, worries and doubts, all chasing one another and splitting, breeding more like some kind of horrible, mutating fungus. When she was jarred awake by the knock at her door, she found her hand hesitating as it reached for the knob. To be honest, she'd thought maybe Buffy wouldn't be coming to her door tonight.

The slayer she found on the other side of her door however, managed to silence the exponential doubt growing in her mind, if only for a few long seconds. 

"Hey." Buffy stammered, her voice scared and her face uncertain. The slayer was already in her pajamas, a warm-looking set of loose flannels. Her hair was wet and hung in half-wound tendrils at the side of her face. This was unusual to say the least – for Buffy to come to her door ready for bed already, especially considering the awkwardness of their afternoon. It was then that the Sorceress saw the shorter woman was merely holding her shirt closed rather than it being buttoned, and her pulse raced a little involuntarily. 

Without a word Tara opened the door wider and Buffy followed her in. Tara reached under her bed and pulled out her large medical kit, placing it open on the bed before sitting next to it. When she glanced up she saw Buffy smiling sadly at her from by the door, still clutching the lapels of her nightclothes shut.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she started quietly, kneeling on the floor in front of Tara, "Willow is staying at Oz's tonight and I was on campus when it happened, looking for those mysterious Commandos – so going to Giles' just seemed…" she trailed off as Tara nodded.

"You d-d-don't need to… W-What happened?" Tara murmured, waving away her excuses; her eyes fixed on the contents of the medical box rather than her patient. She felt the Slayer's warm hand on hers, stilling it.

"I was just thinking," She sighed, "Some_thing_ saw I was distracted and got the better of me." She scooted up on her knees, placing a hand on the taller woman's cheek to turn the girl's face to hers. Tara closed her eyes to keep the girl from seeing them fill with tears, yet could not resist leaning into the touch. "I wanted to give you space, let you come to terms with..." She trailed off. Tara opened her eyes to look at the Slayer quizzically. 

"Space?" she repeated. Buffy blushed as she ran her thumb over the blonde's cheekbone.

"Tara, I would never assume to know everything about you – and to be honest? If I ever did, I think our relationship would suffer because I love that you never cease to surprise me… But I know a bit about how your mind works now, and after the conversation we had this afternoon…?" Buffy's eyes bore inter hers here, as though searching for something. "You barely spoke." She murmured. "You barely spoke, and I could only imagine what horrible, wrong, and horribly-wrong conclusions you must have been leaping to… You asked no questions, never interrupted; so I tried to block any doubts and fears you might have been jumping to by just explaining as much as possible – but in the process I think I might have seriously over-shared … I was half hoping you'd just tell me to shut up at some point – and now I'm worried that I frightened you." this last bit came out in a sob.

"Tara please," she pleaded, a hand at either of her girlfriends cheeks, "ask me anything, _**please**_!" Tara closed her eyes again, feeling them begin to sting. She took a series of deep breaths before opening them again.

"I'm glad you c-c-came," she began slowly, "I w-w-was going to give _you_ s-space… I th-thought that, with e-everything you brought up? Y-Y-You w-would want…" Buffy leaned up and planted a solid kiss on her lips at this, followed by another, and then another, a grin on the Slayer's lips the entire time. "… W-Why?" Tara finally choked out when they paused for breath.

"Why what?" Buffy murmured against her mouth, keeping their heads pressed together - determined to keep kissing Tara despite the wide, relieved grin on her face making it near impossible.

"Why m-me? Why… _Everything_?" the smaller girl pulled back again, her stare once again inquisitive. "Is it because I'm… s-safe?"

"Safe?" Buffy asked, her tone non-committal. 

Tara blushed darkly as she nodded. "Safe. And, m-m-maybe… a s-s-s-sure thing?" At hearing this Buffy's face broke into an amused grin. "You m-must have known, how m-much I was… c-c-c-coveting you." She finished quietly, shame evident in her voice. "How much I… admired y-you."

"Tara, I hate to break it to you – but you are _**far**_ from safe. Think back to our conversation the night we started down this road." Buffy reached up, tucking Tara's hair behind her ears. "If I wanted safe? I would have gone with – oh, I dunno - **not** you. Tara, you _knew_ I was the Slayer from the night we re-met. You may be able to take on a Vamp or two, but if a group decides to get together to kidnap the woman I love? I'm shit out of luck. And it's not like I could keep the Slaying part of my life separate from the 'we' part of my life – you're an asset, knowledgeable, capable, and as far as Scooby Stress levels; highly necessary."

"Buffy," she tried to stop the tirade of irrational compliments, the need to talk some lucid sense into her babbling girlfriend almost crucial.

"Besides! As previously discussed; I had _**no**_ choice in this – this chose me! I didn't ask to be attracted to women, so is it I my fault if the most sensual and adorable woman I have ever known falls into my lap?" Tara stared at her, slightly wide eyed at this. "Well, you know, metaphorically anyways." Tara couldn't help a single chuckle breaking out at this.

"You think I'm w-what?" Tara asked in disbelief, as though the idea of _her_ and _sensual_ in the same sentence or thought were laughable. But then Buffy's hands slid from her cheeks down her neck, over her collarbones and down her arms, and before Tara knew it she felt Buffy's hands gently gripping her knees – her thumbs applying pressure as they massaged in slow circles at the insides of her legs. The sudden breath she took in was more stammered than any sentence she could _**ever**_ remember saying… She swallowed hard and gazed down, realizing – 

"Buffy, your shirt…" she said, indicating with a nervous hand as she looked away. With the Slayers hands on her knees there was nothing holding her shirt closed. At glancing down, the shorter girl saw that there was a line of visible skin running from her chin to the waistband of her pants. Tara made a mental note of the fact that while Buffy did blush at noticing this – it wasn't much. 

"Tara, have you ever wanted something? I mean, _really_ wanted something?" Tara waited. "Where you'd give up a lot to have it, if you could _really_ have it..." Buffy trailed off, shaking her head sadly before sitting on the bed next to her girlfriend. "Something special, something real, rare and not replaceable."

"You mean Angel?" Tara asked quietly. Buffy's head shot up, her look confused.

"What? No!" Buffy stopped herself, something between a chuckle and a sigh bubbling from her lips at this. "Rephrase: Yes, what Angel and I had was special. But, with the _**having**_? Very little. A lot of wanting, a lot of – well, rare would be an understatement – but not a lot of having." Tara shifted on the bed, turning to face Buffy fully. "Tara, I have wanted things – badly… Angel being one of them. And I gave up a lot, some might say too much, just to get whatever I could have with him. But it wasn't enough, for either of us," she raised a hand to Tara's cheek again, her eyes on Tara's lips with a far away sort of focus.

"I've wanted things I couldn't have, had things I shouldn't want – and now there's this amazing, wonderful person in my life that wants me back and I just…" The Slayer sighed, sounding suddenly as exhausted as Tara felt leaving the Summers' residence that afternoon. "While I'm busy waiting for the world to realize _Wait! Buffy's happy! Let's put a stop to that,_ you're waiting for me to see what isn't there and pack up and leave…" Buffy took her hand back, wringing her pajama shirt in both hands now, sending a pleading look towards the dorm-room ceiling. "At least my tradition of falling for crazy people has continued …" she muttered.

"C-Crazy?" Tara asked, hesitant.

"Well," Buffy sighed as she glared at the wall behind Tara, "Angel was this murderous Vampire, said to have killed more people than Napoleon in his day, then he gets this tortured soul shoved in with the demon living in his head… Not to mention Faith, who was unstable when she arrived, but got pushed over the edge not too long after…" here she turned a smirking face towards the Sorceress, "Now I have this bedroom-eyed blonde with curves that I'm betting are more exhilarating than the German autobahn, and yet when she looks in the mirror she sees a Glalphiloix demon. Like I said – Crazy." Buffy's grin grew as the blush on Tara's face became so hot she'd actually made _herself_ more uncomfortable. 

"We're so busy keeping an eye out for what might break us up, we're wasting the time we have together. And for the record; what you're waiting on? It's not gonna happen. I'm not blind, I'm not under some spell, I'm not with you just because you'll have me – I'm here because I wanna be, because there's nowhere else I'd rather… Are we clear?" Buffy finished, smiling.

"You don't know me," Tara insisted, shaking her head, "There are things –"

"That I will discover, in time – that's what a relationship is!" she insisted, scooting forward on the bed. "I know enough to know I wanna stay and learn more. I know you're achingly sweet, not to mention kind to a fault…" she chuckled here, a hand finding it's way onto the Wicca's knee again. "You're so ready to talk me out of being with you – I think this comes back to our trust agreement."

"What?" she asked, confused and a little disbelieving.

"You said I was gonna have to trust your voice to be the source of honesty – to believe you're ready, when you say you're ready? Well trust mine when I say I want you! Trust my hands when you feel the way I touch you, the change in my breathing when I kiss you…" She picked up one of Tara's hands at this and placed it against her chest. "Do you feel that?" she asked, voice serious.

"Uhm," Tara gasped out, not sure what _precisely_ Buffy was expecting her to feel…

"Tare," Buffy cut in, and the taller woman's eyes snapped from where her hand was now lain, back to her girlfriend's eyes. The Slayer was smirking now. "I meant my pulse." 

Tara blushed, a stammering "Oh!" making its way out her lips just as she became aware of the steady thumping under her palm. As the Slayer's hand over her own slid it under one of the lapels of her pajama top, Tara felt the thumping speed up a bit. The slayer smiled, leaning in for a kiss… Her own heart racing, Tara had the briefest thought of _mine's definitely in the lead!_ before their lips connected.

(_**To Be Continued…**_)

-**VixenRaign**-


End file.
